Friday, December 21, 2007

The Die Is Cast and I Am a Wuss

A few weeks ago I got a call from my elderly Aunt P. Naturally I was furious with MDH for answering the phone in the first place, but Aunt P keeps it short. I like that quality in elderly aunt type people.

Unfortunately Aunt P was calling on behalf of herself and my Uncle Dan to invite me and MDH to their house for Christmas Day.

Shit.

They just recently moved back to Michigan earlier this year from Boca and now live a 2.5 hour drive from us. We have been down to visit once this fall and had a great day. But it was not Christmas and it was not winter and snowy out. It was fall and kind of warm and didn't start to get dark until around 8pm.

Aunt P said that she and Uncle Dan were hosting their children and grandchildren and would love it if we could come too. She told me what time and that I didn't need to bring anything except "your precious self my darlin' girl!", and then hung up without waiting for an answer as to whether or not MDH and I already had plans.

We don't, officially.

Unless you count sleeping in and watching TV in our underpants while we have Bloody Mary's and shrimp cocktail for brunch as plans. These are our Christmas traditions I realize they are very similar to the way we spend most weekends around here except for the Bloody Mary's and the shrimp, but I had been counting them as plans. MDH is no help. He doesn't care what we do.

It's awfully difficult to explain that to your sweet little 80 year old auntie who sounded so hopeful on the phone and you know desperately wants you to visit and calls you "precious darlin' girl". Besides, like I said, she hung up before I could say no.

Today I decided to stand firm and called her back to let her know we wouldn't be coming. She wasn't home so I talked to Uncle Dan. I started to tell him about the underpants plans and the shrimp cocktails, but I couldn't get the words out before he started telling me how thrilled he was to be seeing us for Christmas and how Aunt P had already started baking pies. He called me "darlin'" too.

Shit.

I told him that weather permitting, we would try to be there by 10am. Which means, of course that we will have to leave by 7:30am.

Shit.

The best I could come up with was that we would have to leave before dark because MDH and I have really bad night vision (it's true!).

At this point there is no turning back. You cannot make holiday visitation commitments to aunts and uncles well into their 80's and then back out. Well, you can but then (if you are me) you will feel like...

Shit.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

You adore your nieces and nephews...and you are adored by Aunt P. Life is good...just inconveninet at times. And, what goes around comes around.

Life is good...

Ginn
(Hippie-Boy's Aunt)

Family Adventure said...

I'm sorry...I liked your plans. But you'll like yourself way better after you go...and come back. Before dark. To the bloody Marys!

Heidi :)

Tara said...

Curse those sweet-talkin relatives (waves fist in the air)! I know exactly what you mean about the whole thing. The afternoon with bloody marys and shrimp while lounging in your jammies sounds like such an awesome Christmas Day. But I know how how feel about backing out of plans with your relatives, too. It's not easy, I tell ya. My mom and I were invited to my brother's place for Christmas Day.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Ginn - Z'alls I'm sayin'. Life is pretty good since that's my biggest bitch right now.

Heidi - I'm taking the shrimpies to Aunt P's with us, they are Baptists of the no alcohol variety so I'm leaving the Mary's at home for later ;)

Tara - I can never say no to Aunt P and Uncle Dan - they are the sweetest people and I love them dearly - Curse 'em!

Betty said...

Oh you gotta go! how could you say no to an eighty year old aunt and uncle who call you darlin? you'd have to have a heart of steel.

hahah, sorry your chrissy plans are down the gurgler but you can always leave early and still have your Christmas evening hanging out in your underpants.

I do understand the "NO PLANS AT CHRISTMAS" thing though, it is nice to turn your back on the crazy shit that goes on.
I hope you have a wonderful day, and I think you will. The shrimp and bloody mary's will be there waiting for you guys when you get back :)

constant_drama said...

Urrrggghh, I hate it when that happens. I have an Aunt that makes my what-used-to-be-favourite-dish and everytime I wanna skip going to her place she would somehow mentions that she maid the said dish.

I stop liking it eons ago but the guilt trip is there so I ended up going.

Sometimes, its hard being adored. Oh btw Lady, I linked you to my blog. That's cool right?

Leonesse said...

I was leaving a comment, but it was getting too long and becoming a whine. I decided to post it on my whiney-assed blog instead, with attributation, of course.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Leo - can't wait to read it!

Gwen said...

Oh, Lady, your aunt warmed my chilled heart. I want to go, too!

While I do go to my P's every year, it's generally just the 3 of us and my P's are wickedly silly so it's not so bad. Plus they spoil the ever-livin' crap out of me because I'm the only one who comes home. Hee.

i am playing outside said...

i think that's the sweetest thing i ever did read, darlin'. you know you will have a BLAST [but 7:30am? really? *hugs*]

evil-e said...

Enjoy it, you committed, now enjoy it.

I am not a huge fan of the Christmas visitation tour either. I would rather lay around in my boxers and drink beer.

Suze said...

One way not to get invited back next year is to wear your underpants and eat shrimp at your host's house. I find our invites dwindle down a little more each year :)

Merry Christmas my Lunchless Lady friend!

Churlita said...

Too bad you don't live here. There's a blizzard a'brewin'. You would totally have had an excuse.

Dick Small said...

Tell them you're coming over to my place, therefore you can't make it.
Of course, I don't really want you guys here, but at least it gives you an "out".

Dale said...

Pray for weather!

pistols at dawn said...

Eep. That's why I don't answer my phone anymore. Plus, anyone who moves to Michigan from Boca is suspect in my book.

Step Right Up said...

I hope you at least get to wear something comfy around your family. That will make things better. Maybe you can bring enought bloody Marys for everyone!

Step Right Up said...

Oops. I got ahead of myself. I just saw that you said your family is the Baptist non-drinkin type. My family is the same (Southern Bap and Pentecostal). But we certainly don't need alcohol to have a good time. They're a hoot without it. Now some other places I will be going to, alcohol is served and much needed.