Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Ole! Ole! I Have Nothing Good To Say...

There is still no word about the job I was interviewing for so hot and heavy last week. Basically I'm pacing around the house, cooking random shit that nobody here needs to be eating, like cookies, brownies and for some reason, I guess to counteract all of the sugar or perhaps because I watched the movie Selena yesterday, guacamole. In addition, I've been cleaning cleaning cleaning.

I haven't been this crazed in quite awhile. I guess I'm getting a lot of housework and laundry done but I'm about ready to drop kick the cat if he doesn't leave the fucking Christmas tree alone. At first it was cute, but after having straightened out the tree skirt for the kabillionth time and busting him drinking the tree water every time I walk through the living room, I'm seriously considering taking the goddamn tree down and beating him with it.

Anyway... this is the post you get today. Grumpy, self loathing but sparkling and disinfected with a hint of cilantro and lime.

I suppose technically that now would be a perfect time for a party. The house is clean, I've got plenty of food, but I don't think I could be a very good hostess right now.

Happy f-ing holidays.

18 comments:

CDP said...

That sucks that they haven't called you back yet. Go ahead and have the party, it will give you a very good reason to drink. Merry f-ing Christmas!

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Thanks Auntie Dahlia!

Blowing Shit Up With Gas said...

Must be the time of year or something. I've been having cat problems too. (More than the normal level of cat problems, that is.)

r cubed said...

Great post, I can totally relate and I love your description:
"Grumpy, self loathing but sparkling and disinfected with a hint of cilantro and lime."

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks about dropkicking my cats.

constant_drama said...

"but I'm about ready to drop kick the cat if he doesn't leave the fucking Christmas tree alone."

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! That's hillarious. Oh god, my stomach. I have the image in my head and I can't stop laughing, Hillarious!

Rachel said...

What time do you want me there tomorrow for the party?

You know I can't pass up your delish guacamole.

P.S. seriously, wanna come out with me tomorrow?

i am playing outside said...

this is why i don't like pets.

as for the good food, you are allowed to send up a care package to me if you'd like. i wouldn't mind. i'd eat everything you send. haha

Churlita said...

that sucks about your interview. You've got me thinking that I should makes some guac now though.

I hope your fucking holidays perk up really soon. Goddammit.

Suze said...

Right the "f" back at ya! You can come over to my house and cook and clean. I'll even give you free drinks.

Step Right Up said...

Did someone say cilantro and lime? I am so there!

i am playing outside said...

i'm happy that this post is labeled under shitfuck dammit. you are wonderful.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

BSUWG - Dude, you have cat problems like nobody's business - Turtle can drink all of the Christmas tree water he wants as long as I don't have to take a hacksaw to the attic wall like you did last week.

R-cubed - Glad you liked it and are also controlling your urges for pet abuse.

C-Drama - I would never lay a boot on my sweet little Turtle, but it is a funny, albeit violent image.

Hey Rach - thanks for calling - it was great to talk to someone besides myself. The guac is gone honey, but I believe there are more avacados at the store. I'm considering your Dexter marathon offer very seriously and I'm certainly due a cold beer and a good belt out of a Pasty Cline tune at karaoke. You may just see me there tomorrow night.

Player - I love pets, but sometimes they can be just as irritating as people. Guacamole in the mail? That would be quite a mess.

Churlita - I haven't given up hope but remain in the same holding pattern as last week. It doesn't look promising though.

Suze - I'll only clean at your house if I'm allowed to bitch about what a mess you've made, like I do at my husband. It's cheaper than Merry Maids, but there's still a price to be paid.

SRU - Congrats! You're going to be so fussed over this holiday you'll be totally ready for a stiff cocktail and a couple of tequila shooters for sure.

Player - Why thank you! I needed to hear that today. So kind of you to notice my super inventive label. You know, I thought that up all by myself...

SkylersDad said...

Keep thinking good thoughts, it will come through for you. And if it doesn't, what the hell, I will send you my night-scope...

Tara said...

Oh Turtle has no idea how close he is to wearing some pine needles, does he? I hope you hear back from that job soon. You could always give them a call and ask if they've made a decision. It won't be pushy, it'll just give them a nudge.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Skydad - thank you for your well wishes and the offer of automatic weapons. I'll letcha know.

Tara - he's in no real danger as he is the cutest kitty on the planet and he knows it. I'm going to call tomorrow as that marks a full week of my grief.

evil-e said...

I have been waiting for some responses on the job thing as well. Nothing, nada, nicht, bubkis, zilch.

Please do dropkick the cat and take pictures, that would be funny.

Betty said...

hahahh, the naughty christmas tree wrecking cat.

pistols at dawn said...

I say that times like this call for an ephedrine-fueled road trip.

Sincerely, Hunter S. Thompson