Thursday, December 27, 2007

How to Disappoint Old People


On Christmas Eve at around, oh 12:30pm ish the phone rang and I saw Uncle Dan's name on the caller ID. I picked up immediately, because Uncle Dan is on my OK to answer list and because I assumed he was calling to confirm that MDH and I were still coming to spend Christmas Day with him and Aunt P. I had my coat on and my car keys in hand, as I was just on my way out the door to buy some last minute items to take with us.

Me: Hey Uncle Dan! What's up?

UD: Hi Darlin'! Where are you?

Me: Oh, you know I was just on my way out the door to get some stuff to bring with us when we come see you tomorrow.

UD: Well we thought you was a comin' today. We been awaitin' for y'all.

Me: What? Oh shit! Uncle Dan I thought you invited us for tomorrow!

UD: No. It was today. We been awaitin', wonderin' where you're at.

Yes. I know from experience exactly what this means. He has been in his coat, sitting in a lawn chair in the driveway in the freezing cold. He waits outside with the garage door open in all weather. I try never to be late.

I blathered apologies while he chuckled and insisted it was all right and that we should come tomorrow at the same planned time, which was 10:30am by the way.

I think back to 2 days previous when I had called Aunt P to confirm that we were coming and double check the day and time. She wasn't home so I had confirmed with Uncle Dan instead. I distinctly remember saying "See you Christmas Day!", before hanging up.

Uncle Dan is 83 and very hard of hearing.

I should've known better than to confirm with Uncle Dan.

I should've called back and talked to Aunt P.

In my family you should always talk to the wife. The wives in my family are always in charge of the festivities and seem to have no hearing problems. My father, Uncle Dan and all their other brothers are deaf as fucking door nails, refuse to get hearing aids, and they all agree to everything because they can't fucking hear a word you are saying to them on the phone.

Above is a picture of me in better days, when my father and all his brothers could still hear and I wasn't in charge of anything or keeping any one waiting outside in the freezing cold. (Did anyone else have a "Mrs. Beasley" dress?)

16 comments:

Churlita said...

I had a Mrs. Beasley doll that talked. I also had Buffy and Jody psuedo Barbie dolls that came with a very tiny Mrs. Beasley doll. Man, I wish I still had them.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

I LOVED Family Affair! I also had the talking Mrs. Beasley doll. That dress is short enough, who knows maybe I pulled it off the doll and wore it myself.

Michelle said...

That's funny. It's a rule in our family that you TALK TO THE WIFE, too! The men just don't seem to want to know anything anyway!

i am playing outside said...

i don't know what a Mrs. Beasley doll is. *ducks, because one of you lovely ladies is bound to take a swing at me*

that sucks that you had the day wrong, but i hope you had a great Christmas Day instead!

Tara said...

That photo is too adorable!

My mom and I used to wait out on the treelawn when my brothers would visit from out-of-state. We'd usually do it in warmer weather though. Then we stopped cuz a few of them got lazy and wanted us to pick them up from the airport rather than them rent a car. No fun.

My dad relied on my mom to keep him posted of all our family activities. On the day I graduated from high school, he asked me why I was all dressed up. He totally dimmed out on the big day.

Step Right Up said...

Seems like he took it all pretty well. No harm no foul.

My older cousin still has her Buffy, Jody, and Mrs. Beasly barbie type dolls.

SkylersDad said...

We always had to watch Family Affair and it was on opposite of Rat Patrol! Dad and I always had to bow down to the two women in our home...

Suze said...

My sister called me Mrs. Beasley because my glasses were shaped like hers. I have a picture with me somewhere with my doll. Many, many, many moons ago!

WendyB said...

I had the talking Mrs. Beasley as well!

The Ex said...

Women. We make the world go round! Hope he wasn't a popsicle when you finally got there :)

CDP said...

I had Mrs. Beasley, and I wore the glasses all the time. My grandfather in his later years was as deaf as a post and refused to admit it, so hearing aid discussions were always promptly squelched. Because I'm NOT DEAF, damn it!
Merry Christmas!

Dick Small said...

"Did anyone else have a "Mrs. Beasley" dress?"
Well, that's a silly question, of course we all had a Mrs. Beasley dress! Who didn't????

Dick Small said...

... Oh, and btw, congrats on totally ripping your aunt and uncle's hearts out on this lovely holiday season. Good going. I hope you're proud of yourself.

pistols at dawn said...

Family is all about forcing other people to suffer, so I wouldn't worry about it.

constant_drama said...

Who's Mrs.Beasley?

Stepping Over the Junk said...

I love this, that is too cute!