Sunday, December 16, 2007

I Hope the Path To Enlightenment Is Heavily Sprayed With Pesticides

Rebecca, a new commenter on my blog has uncovered the true path to my heart (giving me new opportunities to talk about myself) and tagged me. Thanks Rebecca! She has tagged me to share 7 facts about myself.

1. I love White Castle. There, I’ve said it. I don’t eat there, or at any fast food establishment very often, but there are moments when I crave them like nobody’s business. MDH, and many other very smart people with discerning tastes find them disgusting and I heartily agree, but there are times when nothing else will do. It’s probably for the best interest of my arteries and breath that we don’t have them in Grand Rapids. Ordinarily I don’t think about it much, but I’m kinda hungry right now.

2. I love my car. It’s not fancy or anything, but it’s paid for, it goes really fast and has an excellent sound system. Several years ago I was able to pick out any car I wanted regardless of price, co-signature or opinion. Prior to that someone else had always been involved and I ended up with cars I was supremely unhappy with. I will happily drive this car until it falls apart.

3. There are tubes and tubs of lip balm stashed away in every one of my coat pockets, desk drawers, junk drawers and crevices within arms reach of my favored spots around the house and our cars. For me it’s either Burt’s Bees or Blistex Lip Medix (in the dark blue tub). No others will do. Somehow, my lips are still cracked and chapped. Almost every time I do laundry, the sound of an errant lip balm can be heard tumbling around in the spin cycle. I always hope to catch it before it goes into the dryer and makes a big waxy mess.

4. I weigh myself every single day. Twice. Once when I first get up and again after I’ve, well, you know. This has been my habit for about 10 years. I love it when a hotel has a bathroom scale so that I can weigh myself when I’m traveling too. Hardly any hotels that we can afford to stay in have bathroom scales.

5. I have a really strong stomach for blood and guts. It’s probably from working in vet clinics for so long, but I was kind of like that before. There are a few things that get to me, but even still I don’t get too pukey. I’m also a handy person to have around in an emergency because I don’t freak out until after the moment has passed. Now after having said all that here are a few exceptions: dead birds, mice (living or dead), other people’s snot (I’m cool with my own). If you come after me with any of those things I will scream like a girl.

6. People who don’t take care of their pets properly; don’t take them to the vet regularly, don’t train them properly, leave them outside all the time, don’t get them spayed or neutered, piss me off. My cousin’s husband (such an asshole) claims to “breed” St. Bernards, but he really just has a kennel full of sad drooling giant dogs that hardly ever get petted or loved. He treats them like livestock and they pee themselves and jump all over you whenever you go near them, thus making people less likely to ever come near to pet or love on them.

7. I hate camping or doing anything that may cause me to get a tick, require me to go without bathing or wearing make-up or relieve myself outdoors. I don’t mind a good day of hiking, biking or other outdoorsy activities that might make me sweat (I can always wear waterproof make-up), but don’t ask me to do those things and then not have a proper shower or flushing toilet. I’ll take a fully plumbed cabin or a room at the lodge please.

Rebel that I am, I'm not going to tag anyone else, but hope that you will take it upon yourselves to meme at will. (Tara, I know you are good for these, and how about you Evil-E, are you up for it? - you guys are semi-tagged).

19 comments:

rebecca said...

I'm glad you liked doing this--I wish everyone would, it's interesting to read them. I'm a lip balm person too.

pistols at dawn said...

I also hate camping, because we invented the indoors for a reason: being outdoors sucked. Camping in a .01 inch thick tent is really just seeing what it'd be like to be homeless in the woods, and how often do people want to take a homeless-style vacation?

evil-e said...

I am not much the meme-er...I might do it begrudgingly.

White castle-really? You can have mine.

I hate camping as well, what is fun about sleeping in the woods?

Tara said...

I miss White Castle, there isn't one near me. I have a love/hate relationship with my car. The next one I have will definitely have a built-in CD player. Mine only plays cassettes and I'm tired of using that CD adapter thingy. But for now I'll tolerate my little ole silver car.

Thanks for the tag! I have done this a few times in the past, but maybe I can think up some really, really useless info to list on there.

Princess of the Universe said...

Ahh Lady, I could SO relate to some of these.

1. I DO NOT camp. I just don't. Same reasons as you stated.

2. I have a love of this one burger joint in the neighbourhood I used to live in. Thank goodness I don't live there anymore. I still crave their milkshakes occasionally.

3. I used to have a zillion of those Bonne Bell sparkly lip glosses. Those ones they make for little kids? I had every different flavour. Strawberry in my purse.
Pink lemonade in my desk. Raspberry in my jacket....

i am playing outside said...

well, i was not tagged or semi-tagged [ANGER!] but i think i may do this anyway, after i post about my day/the awesome ton of snow. we'll see if i get to 7.

Family Adventure said...

I detest camping, too. I'm happy to hike/climb whatever, but I need to sleep on a mattress, with a down duvet after a nice, hot shower. Thank you!

I try to avoid lip balm, because it makes my lips all chapped up (hint...).

Great meme.

Heidi

constant_drama said...

You weigh yourself everyday? EVERYday? TWICE?

WOW.

You are a brave soul.

Del-V said...

Camping sucks however I love the woodsy scent of Deep Woods Off.

dmarks said...

There's a White Castle in Lansing... not too far from you. So take a road trip!

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Rebecca - I don't mind them at all - BTW I think your blog is terrific!

Pistols - People call it getting away from it all - but that's what being indoors is for. You're right camping is like pretending to be homeless.

Evil - you don't have to do it - I've never known you to do a meme - so it's fine.

Tara - Mine is silver too and a 2000, and I'm very attached to it. I couldn've gotten almost anything, but I wanted a VW.

Princess - camp hating and lip balming are pretty girly. White Castle loving - not so much.

Player - oh darlin' please meme away. Consider yourself tagged young man.

Heidi - I've heard that theory before, but it's hard to give up the balm cold turkey.

Drama - Brave nothing! I simply don't like guessing games or surprises.

Del-V - We have a garage full of the stuff - the mosquitos here are frightening. I've never had a tick and plan to keep it that way.

Dmarks - I know! I always try to get MDH to take me there when we're driving to/from Detroit or Columbus, but he will not stop. Not even for a vanilla shake - party pooper.

stephanie said...

I have lip balm all over the place. I hate it when they go through the wash. Or, even worse, when I put on a pair of a pants I haven't worn in a long time and I find one in there. When that happens I always think, oh, hey, I guess I didn't wash these...oops....

Step Right Up said...

White Castle- got sick on it once. Have never touched one again.

Chapstick- I, too have chapstick EVERYWHERE. I buy a tube, think I've lost it, buy another tube, find old tube, and repeat.

St. Bernards- that makes me sad. I am a huge animal lover and it breaks my heart to not see them loved.

another good thing said...

Do tell.
Totally with you on the pet owners who are too dumb to pass the beta fish test but I do love the IDEA of a grungy camping trip-- solo that ends with a night in the 5 star spa.

minijonb said...

i also love White Castle, no matter what it does to my system.

...is that picture your WV? i usually drive WV's or Audi's.

Rachel said...

Did you know that they have the White Castle burgers in the frozen section of the grocery store?

I haven't ever tried them but maybe that can fix your craving.

I enjoy camping as long as I am close enough to drive home if necessary. Last summer I went camping literally 10 minutes from my house ~ just in case.

I received 2 lip glosses from my Secret Santa this morning and am currently enjoying the strawberry flavored one. It Yummy.

Oh, remember that Liz Claiborne purse that you gave me? Guess what was in it? A tube of Burts Bee's lip balm. Go figure :)

WendyB said...

#4! I'm with ya! When you eat as many cherry Danish as I do, you have to keep track of the effects.

Stepping Over the Junk said...

WHITE CASTLE! Reminds me of my college days in the midwest. ah yeah

Betty said...

Number 7 is something I could have written myself. hhahah, I had a good chuckle.

And I am hating your cousins husband as well for doing that to those poor animals. I feel so angry at him.