I Hope the Path To Enlightenment Is Heavily Sprayed With Pesticides

Rebecca, a new commenter on my blog has uncovered the true path to my heart (giving me new opportunities to talk about myself) and tagged me. Thanks Rebecca! She has tagged me to share 7 facts about myself.

1. I love White Castle. There, I’ve said it. I don’t eat there, or at any fast food establishment very often, but there are moments when I crave them like nobody’s business. MDH, and many other very smart people with discerning tastes find them disgusting and I heartily agree, but there are times when nothing else will do. It’s probably for the best interest of my arteries and breath that we don’t have them in Grand Rapids. Ordinarily I don’t think about it much, but I’m kinda hungry right now.

2. I love my car. It’s not fancy or anything, but it’s paid for, it goes really fast and has an excellent sound system. Several years ago I was able to pick out any car I wanted regardless of price, co-signature or opinion. Prior to that someone else had always been involved and I ended up with cars I was supremely unhappy with. I will happily drive this car until it falls apart.

3. There are tubes and tubs of lip balm stashed away in every one of my coat pockets, desk drawers, junk drawers and crevices within arms reach of my favored spots around the house and our cars. For me it’s either Burt’s Bees or Blistex Lip Medix (in the dark blue tub). No others will do. Somehow, my lips are still cracked and chapped. Almost every time I do laundry, the sound of an errant lip balm can be heard tumbling around in the spin cycle. I always hope to catch it before it goes into the dryer and makes a big waxy mess.

4. I weigh myself every single day. Twice. Once when I first get up and again after I’ve, well, you know. This has been my habit for about 10 years. I love it when a hotel has a bathroom scale so that I can weigh myself when I’m traveling too. Hardly any hotels that we can afford to stay in have bathroom scales.

5. I have a really strong stomach for blood and guts. It’s probably from working in vet clinics for so long, but I was kind of like that before. There are a few things that get to me, but even still I don’t get too pukey. I’m also a handy person to have around in an emergency because I don’t freak out until after the moment has passed. Now after having said all that here are a few exceptions: dead birds, mice (living or dead), other people’s snot (I’m cool with my own). If you come after me with any of those things I will scream like a girl.

6. People who don’t take care of their pets properly; don’t take them to the vet regularly, don’t train them properly, leave them outside all the time, don’t get them spayed or neutered, piss me off. My cousin’s husband (such an asshole) claims to “breed” St. Bernards, but he really just has a kennel full of sad drooling giant dogs that hardly ever get petted or loved. He treats them like livestock and they pee themselves and jump all over you whenever you go near them, thus making people less likely to ever come near to pet or love on them.

7. I hate camping or doing anything that may cause me to get a tick, require me to go without bathing or wearing make-up or relieve myself outdoors. I don’t mind a good day of hiking, biking or other outdoorsy activities that might make me sweat (I can always wear waterproof make-up), but don’t ask me to do those things and then not have a proper shower or flushing toilet. I’ll take a fully plumbed cabin or a room at the lodge please.

Rebel that I am, I'm not going to tag anyone else, but hope that you will take it upon yourselves to meme at will. (Tara, I know you are good for these, and how about you Evil-E, are you up for it? - you guys are semi-tagged).