The Die Is Cast and I Am a Wuss

A few weeks ago I got a call from my elderly Aunt P. Naturally I was furious with MDH for answering the phone in the first place, but Aunt P keeps it short. I like that quality in elderly aunt type people.

Unfortunately Aunt P was calling on behalf of herself and my Uncle Dan to invite me and MDH to their house for Christmas Day.

Shit.

They just recently moved back to Michigan earlier this year from Boca and now live a 2.5 hour drive from us. We have been down to visit once this fall and had a great day. But it was not Christmas and it was not winter and snowy out. It was fall and kind of warm and didn't start to get dark until around 8pm.

Aunt P said that she and Uncle Dan were hosting their children and grandchildren and would love it if we could come too. She told me what time and that I didn't need to bring anything except "your precious self my darlin' girl!", and then hung up without waiting for an answer as to whether or not MDH and I already had plans.

We don't, officially.

Unless you count sleeping in and watching TV in our underpants while we have Bloody Mary's and shrimp cocktail for brunch as plans. These are our Christmas traditions I realize they are very similar to the way we spend most weekends around here except for the Bloody Mary's and the shrimp, but I had been counting them as plans. MDH is no help. He doesn't care what we do.

It's awfully difficult to explain that to your sweet little 80 year old auntie who sounded so hopeful on the phone and you know desperately wants you to visit and calls you "precious darlin' girl". Besides, like I said, she hung up before I could say no.

Today I decided to stand firm and called her back to let her know we wouldn't be coming. She wasn't home so I talked to Uncle Dan. I started to tell him about the underpants plans and the shrimp cocktails, but I couldn't get the words out before he started telling me how thrilled he was to be seeing us for Christmas and how Aunt P had already started baking pies. He called me "darlin'" too.

Shit.

I told him that weather permitting, we would try to be there by 10am. Which means, of course that we will have to leave by 7:30am.

Shit.

The best I could come up with was that we would have to leave before dark because MDH and I have really bad night vision (it's true!).

At this point there is no turning back. You cannot make holiday visitation commitments to aunts and uncles well into their 80's and then back out. Well, you can but then (if you are me) you will feel like...

Shit.

The Lady Who Doesn't Eat Dinner

I may soon have a new moniker since my new almost job is a weird shift, noon to 8:45pm.

I'm feeling all weirded out, because I've been job hunting for so long and this is the first time I've had a second call back for anything. Things are moving really fast too. The possible boss dude called me Friday to interview yesterday and then called me again 2 hours after my interview to come back in today to meet with the rest of his team and sit in and observe some of the work they do.

Noon to 8:45pm.

I'm trying to reconcile this shift. It's non- negotiable and it's not rotated with any of the other team members.

Why it may suck:

• I won't be able to cook dinner every night.
• By the time I get home it will be almost time for bed.
• I won't be able to do stuff in the evenings on week nights, like go to the theater or out to dinner. (Yes, because we do these things sooo frequently now...)
• It's kind of a step down career wise from my previous job.
• I will be kicked back out into the world and forced among people again.
• I will no longer be a lady of leisure.
• I will have bathe and put on clothes every day.
• Since I would be surrounded by other people, I will no longer be able to amuse myself by farting and belching really loud whenever I feel like it and then giggling to myself. Technically, I suppose I could still keep doing it, but I would really like to be a team player and for the other people to like me.
• I'll have to shave my legs sometimes.
• I will have less time to spend with MDH.

On the bright side:

• I will have to spend less time with MDH.
• It's a job.
• The money is very good and in fact much better than what I was making before when I was traveling all over hell's half acre.
• I'll get to sleep in my own bed every night.
• We may lose weight since I'm not cooking dinner every night.
• I'll have time to work out every day before work.
• I'll have the option of sleeping in should the mood strike me.
• I won't have to deal with rush hour traffic.
• Showering and getting dressed every day and not giggling at my own loud flatulence may improve my sex life.
• It seems like very easy work compared to what I was doing before.
• I will be forced back into the world and out among people again, providing me with an never ending supply of blog fodder.
• It's a job.
• I can buy shoes again. (DSW, here I come!)
• I can buy potions again. (I'm sure Lancome and Keihls have missed me.)
• We can finally get a goddamn house keeper.
• We're finally going to buy some living room furniture.
  
  

I'm almost not wanting to publish this for fear I will jinx myself. It would just be so perfect to not get the job after having raved, worried and typed out these idiotic lists like a big jackass. Please remind me that I'm not superstitious, but keep your fingers crossed that I get this stupid job. Lady would like to buy some shoes.

Fine Vintage Whine

My last entry about pizza, which incidentally I wrote a long time ago and only posted yesterday because I didn't have enough time to write anything new, brought in more comments than any other post I've ever done. Weird huh?

You guys must have been hungry for pizza.

Maybe I should wait for all my posts to ripen, like fine wine.

Nah. I prefer a proper and more immediate whiney whine.

I've spent the last two days in a row exiled in the den with Turtle because MDH has decided to work from home. Jesus I hope he goes back to the office tomorrow. I can't get anything done while he's here.

His bout of working from home was not as fruitful as noted in previous posts as no employers called me. Our track record of me getting calls for interviews when he invades my space instead of going to his real office is broken and now there is officially no benefit to me of him working from home. In fact I declare it officially a detriment because he is stinky, prickly and demanding. When he shuns the office for our tranquil domicile he remains unshowered, unshaven, and in addition to hogging the office which is normally my turf he has the nerve to ask me to cook for him and bring him food.

I pretended all day like I didn't hear him.

On the bright side I got my haircut (I'm back to a tidy bob), did a decent amount of housework and watched a some movies that had been building up on the DVR. I would rather have my office back so that I can look for jobs during the day.

I'm looking forward to getting him the hell out of the house tomorrow and writing a nice long winded post. I've been tagged by Aunt Dahlia and I'm thrilled for the opportunity to prattle on and on about myself in a new and challenging way.