Monday, December 17, 2007

Stephie's Corner

Buon giorno!

I'm sort of posting a guest blog today. My friend Steph sent me a little do-hickey all about Italian Kids VS American Kids. She's Italian and MDH is an even mixture of Italian and Portuguese. Steph's husband, my very good friend, Dan and I couldn't be more WASP-y. We are constantly comparing how alike she and MDH are to how alike Dan and I are. It's weird.

It's only a "sort of" guest post because I'm changing it ever so slightly and adding in a couple of disclaimers. Also instead of Italian Kids v. American Kids it'll be called Steph & MDH v. Dan & Lady. In case you didn't notice - it's colored like the Italian flag.

Subject: Dan & Lady v. Steph & MDH

Dan & Lady: Move out when they're 18 with the full support of their parents.
Steph & MDH: Move out when they're 28, having saved enough money for a house, and are two weeks away from getting married...unless there's room in the basement for the newlyweds. (Untrue! MDH moved out when he was 17 and never looked back.)

Dan & Lady: When their Mom visits them, she brings a Bundt cake, and you sip coffee and chat. (Untrue! My mother has never been to my house.)
Steph & MDH: When their Mom visits them, she brings 3 days worth of food, begins to tidy up, dust, do the laundry, and rearrange the furniture.

Dan & Lady: Their Dads always call before they come over to visit them,and it's usually only on special occasions. (Untrue! My dad has never been to my house.)
Steph & MDH: Are not at all fazed when their Dad shows up, unannounced, on a Saturday morning at 8:00, and starts pruning the fruit trees. If there are no fruit trees, he'll plant some. (Untrue! MDH hasn't seen or spoken to his father since he was 4 years old.)

Dan & Lady: Always pay retail, and look in the Yellow Pages when they need to have something done.
Steph & MDH: Call their Dad or Uncle, and ask for another dad's or uncle's phone number to get it done...Cash deal. Know what I mean??

Dan & Lady: You'll come over for cake and coffee, and get only cake and coffee. No more. (Untrue! I live to feed the masses.)
Steph & MDH: You'll come over for cake and coffee, and get antipasto, wine, a pasta dish, a choice of two meats, salad, bread, a cannoli, fruit, espresso, and a few after dinner drinks.

Dan & Lady: Will greet you with "Hello" or "Hi". (Untrue! I'm very big on the hugs and kisses.)
Steph & MDH: Will give you a big hug, a kiss on your cheek, and a pat on your back.

Dan & Lady: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.
Steph & MDH: Call your parents Mom and Dad.

Dan & Lady: Have never seen you cry.
Steph & MDH: Cry with you.

Dan & Lady: Borrow your stuff for a few days and then return it.
Steph & MDH: Keep your stuff so long, they forget it's yours.

Dan & Lady: Will eat at your dinner table and leave. (Untrue!)
Steph & MDH: Will spend hours there, talking, laughing, and just being together.

Dan & Lady: Know few things about you.
Steph & MDH: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.

Dan & Lady: Eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on soft mushy white bread. (Untrue! I eat my PB&J on nine grain bread.)
Steph & MDH: Eat Genoa Salami and Provolone sandwiches, Rabe sandwiches and Meatball and Pepper sandwiches on crusty Italian bread.

Dan & Lady: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.
Steph & MDH: Will kick the whole crowds' ass who left you behind.

Dan & Lady: Are Friends for a while. (Untrue! Dan and I are very loyal friends.)
Steph & MDH: Are Friends for life.

Dan & Lady: Like Rod Stewart and Steve Tyrell. (Untrue! I don't even know who Steve Tyrell is and while I don't worship Bennet and Sinatra I enjoy their song stylings very much.)
Steph & MDH: Worship Tony Bennett and Sinatra.

Dan & Lady: Will ignore this. (Untrue! I have posted it on my blog!)
Steph & MDH: Will forward it. (Untrue! MDH hates this kind of stuff.)

When Dan and Steph were visiting for Thanksgiving I put Steph up to a challenge. I have asked her to write a guest post about her horrible mother-in-law. Yes. Dan's mother is horrible. Trust me when I tell you that Steph has cornered the market on horrible mothers-in-law. Don't worry about Dan, he knows it. So if you leave comments on this post please also include some begging and pleading to Stephanie to please, please write a guest post about her experience with her weirdo mother-in-law last Thanksgiving. It is her story to tell so I cannot write it for her.
Steph - Dammi questo! Sbrigati!!


Del-V said...

It's true, Italians worship Frank Sinatra. And Steph, write a short guest blog.

Family Adventure said...

LOL - it is always interesting to look at (perceived) cultural differences.



The Guv'ner said...

Oh man that's funny.

I have hereby diagnosed myself as a fine combination of you WASPs and of the more latin temperaments of your significant others (much like a blended whisky only classier). In fact I had more in common with the latins except I wasn't hanging around at home till I was 28 for SURE! 21 and I was gone.

What's with Americans and bundt cakes?

i am playing outside said...

Guv ... 2 things for you ... good call on the blended whiskey. ;) and Americans like bundt cakes because who wouldn't want to say bundt cake? [I have a feeling that My Big Fat Greek Wedding made this word popular].

Rachel said...

Bundt cakes are good, but coffee cake is better.

Rachel said...

Bundt cakes are good, but coffee cake is better.

Rachel said...

Oh. Steph, write your blog post. I have heard a bit about your MIL from Lady and I am sure that the post would be priceless.

Rachel said...

What the heck? It double posted me. Now I just look like a blog hanger on.



Churlita said...

Untrue. My ex mother in law was the worst ever. Once when she came up to visit from Mexico, the first thing she said to me in her very thick accent was, "Oh, aren't you getting a little bit fat?" Nice, huh?

The Guv'ner said...

I now feel I must go buy a Bundt cake! Because honestly? I have never HAD bundt cake. And I too want to walk up to a cashier and go "I WANT BUNDT CAKE PLEASE!"

BUNDT. Sounds like a German serial killer!

i am playing outside said...

Guv, when i was previously typing BUNDT, i typed BUNDY by accident, and was also reminded of serial killing. we're a good team!

evil-e said...

Funny stuff...I love stereotypes.

Maddy said...

Newbie visiting. Glad to hear that you're keeping international relations brimming over with goodwill.

Anonymous said...

hahaha, I've got quite a bit of Italian on both sides of my family line and I had a giggle at quite a few things in there.

I'd love to hear an evil mother-in-law story. But I actually have a beautiful mother in law who when I divorced her son, loves me enough to still let me act like her daughterin law. Pretty cool huh!

Gwen said...

My in-laws were to awesome they let me keep the name, but I'd love to hear Steph's story . . . pretty please with sugar?

pistols at dawn said...

One of the worst moments of my life was meeting a girlfriend's Sicilian parents for the first time, and having them sit me at a table with a light aimed directly at me (no joke), and say, "So, you want to move our daughter across the country, away from us?"

The answer should have been: "No, she's all yours!"

However, based on the week's experience: thank Heaven for Italian girls.