Saturday, December 8, 2007

Into Each Life a Little Indoor Rain Must Fall

Our kitchen sink sprayer broke on Thanksgiving day at the climax of our cooking extravaganza, just before dinner was served. Dan and Stephanie had come all the way from Ohio to hang with us for the holiday. Steph and I spent a good part of the day in the kitchen cooking, chatting and having a great time.

We were almost ready to put dinner on the table when the little handle you press on got stuck and I couldn't turn it off so random, errant streams of uncontrolled water spouted from the nozzle and shot across the room every time I turned the water on, which on Thanksgiving day is quite frequently. Unfortunately when we discovered the problem Steph was in the path of the water stream and I soaked her pretty good.

It is quite shocking to be quietly minding your own business, chopping vegetables or what have you, indoors no less, and suddenly be drenched in cold water. More shocking still to look over at your friend you have driven 7 hours through horrible snowy weather to come and visit and see her holding a kitchen sink sprayer with streams of water shooting out of it, pointing it at your head.

I stunned her further by hitting her with a short blast of high pitched screaming. She stunned me by screaming back.

It's awfully difficult to try to investigate what might have gone wrong with a broken kitchen sprayer without squirting even more water everywhere and making a huge mess. I'm one of those people that has to learn by doing and I learned this: Do not look directly into the kitchen sprayer when you suspect it is broken or point it anywhere but back into the sink.

MDH, apparently unalarmed by all the screaming and arm flapping, finally came to the rescue when I demanded that he get up off of his ass and come help me. He took the thing apart and stopped the water from squirting out every time I turned on the tap, which left me with no sprayer for the kitchen sink and dammit I love that thing.

Yesterday after my job interview I went out to do a little shopping and my last stop before home was Lowe's to buy a new sprayer.

The whole point of this post when I originally thought of it had nothing to do with me spraying water all over my house guest and into my own face. But this is my blog and my brain and my stories can be as disjointed as I want.

The original point of the post was this: I hate shopping in Lowe's the same way my husband hates shopping at Target.

My Target Experience = His Lowe's Experience:
I look forward to shopping at Target/Lowe's. It's fun. I usually go with a specific shopping list, but end up meandering through the aisles looking at things we don't really need. I like to take my time and visit the end caps and see if there's anything good on clearance. I always come home with way more stuff than I intended to buy and tend spend way over budget.

My Lowe's Experience = His Target Experience:
I loathe shopping at Lowe's/Target and only go if my spouse makes me. I put off going as long as possible and when I finally get there I stomp into the store like a big sour puss, go to exactly where those items are, get them and march immediately to the checkout and leave as quickly as possible.

16 comments:

evil-e said...

That happened to me once as well...what a mess that is. Water water everywhere and drop to drink...mainly because it was all over the floor and counters.

Dick Small said...

I wish I had been there.

Lady's friend who got sprayed said...

Nicely 'splained.

Michelle said...

My husband used to rubber band the sprayer so that when his dad turned the water on it would spray him in the face. Pretty damn funny if you ask me! (though I agree it's a real pain when the sprayer breaks!)

It's a good Thanksgiving story.

pistols at dawn said...

I just hate going outside, period. There are too many ugly people in the world.

Tara said...

I don't have a sprayer anymore. We did in the old family house we used to have, though. I've seen videos of people rigging the sprayers with rubber bands to spray at their loved ones whenever they turn on the faucet.

Superstar said...

That is hilarious. I should see that in a movie with a mother/daughter fight turn into a love hugs and stuff moment!

LOL ;o)

Sorry to hear that lowes isn't your fav. It could be worse...He could like HOME Depot.!!!!

Family Adventure said...

MDH was unalarmed? Me thinks you need to armflap a little louder next time.

Since there's no Target in Canada, I can't relate -- but I'm definitely making it a point to find out next time I am Statesside. We do have Lowe's, and it doesn't do it for me, either.

Heidi

CDP said...

I LOVE my sprayer, so I'd force myself to go to Lowe's to replace it too. My nomination for absolutely stupidest holiday advertising, 2007--the Lowe's commercial when the husband lights on the brilliant idea of the LOWE'S GIFT CARD for HIS WIFE.

SkylersDad said...

I have a ridiculously powerful sprayer. I would take paint off of the appliances if I used it the wrong way.

But I only use my sprayer for good.

Suze said...

I use my sprayer all wrong. I spray flat pans and then it gets back in my face. I think only highly-trained professional should use those things.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Evil - This never seems to happen when you've got time to deal with cleaning up a damn mess either.

Dick - I tried to be as descriptive as possible so that maybe you'd feel like you were.

Steph - thanks Honey, and again, I'm so sorry. I hope it doesn't affect your decision to come and visit us again.

Michelle - that's just mean.

I would've written it closer to Thanksgiving, but I forgot all about it until I replaced the sprayer.

Pistols - Wow - who needs a big hug?

Tara - I use it all the time and would probably die of apoplexy if someone rigged it to spray me in the face.

Superstar - We laughed about it later, but at the moment it was just me screaming and turning the sprayer on my stunned friend.

CDP - I haven't seen the commerical, but I agree it sounds pretty dern stupid.
This is the second time the sprayer has died in this house - and it's very upsetting. I use it all the time.

Skyler's Dad - that sounds like a dream come true as the real purpose of the sprayer (for me) is to power wash the dishes so that I don't have to touch the dirty kitchen sponge.

Suze - there's a certain angle where it works on skillets like a charm and you don't get drenched.

The Guv'ner said...

Is it wrong that I laughed at the visual of the scream-fest?

Also I drool whenever I hear the word "Target". This is why I could never join the FBI or the like. All that shooting practice would finish me off.

Churlita said...

My sprayer is old and doesn't work very well. I have that spraying in my face experience once every couple of weeks. Of course, I never remember to get the replacement when I'm out and about.

Del-V said...

Rubber bands on the sprayer?! What an awesome idea. I think I'll be doing that this weekend at my brother's house.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Guv! - laugh away! Steph and I did which was my inspiration to write the post.

I'm an excellent shot, but a even better shopper.

Churlita - it's difficult because it requires entering a hardware store, but maybe are available on-line and thereby eliminating the need to leave the house at all.

Once you've got one it's easy to replace. If I can do it a blind, retarded kitten could do it.

Del-V - let me know how that goes.