Friday, December 7, 2007

Shove Your "Ears" Mickey

My blogger friend at Warped Viewings waxed nostalgic about her childhood, Disneyland and coveting mouse ears. Well, it reminded me of this gem of a photo from my childhood. This is for you SRU.
The photo of my parents and I on a beautiful sunny day in front of Cinderella's castle demonstrates (extra emphasis on demon) why I didn't bring home any mouse ears from our 1973 trip to Disney World.

I was furious, outraged and heartbroken when I realized that the castle was nothing but a big fiberglass prop. My six year old mind believed we'd be dropping in for a visit and maybe having some tea and getting a house tour. I thought me and Cindy would hang out and have a chat. My dreams were dashed.

I was an evil little brat when I didn't get my way, and it seems obsessed with all things purple as witnessed by my purple striped Garanimals ensemble and desire to only eat and drink things "grape" flavored. Yes, that's a grape juice I'm holding in front of my sour little scowling face that my father scoured the theme park to find to try to appease me after the shock of the phony castle.

And then they expected me to smile and have my picture taken in front of this so called castle. I wasn't having it.

I spent most of our day at the Magic Kingdom acting like a little asshat. My mother had apparently taken to wearing a disguise so as to easier deny any responsibility for me.

26 comments:

Step Right Up said...

I am sad for you that you also missed out on the mouse ears hat. Did the kids wear them to school like they did where I lived?

If that's odd, let me also add that I went to public school in the South.

Step Right Up said...

Oh, and let me also add that I also never got Garanimals either! Oh, how I admired them hanging on the racks at K-Mart with their animal faced tags showing you what top looked good with what pants but alas my mother's favorite phrase still rings in my ears, "NO, we can't afford them!"

Tara said...

I would've been so disappointed about that castle too. When someone names something a castle, I'd better the hell see something princessy in it. Not just a prop. I've never been to Disneyworld.

pistols at dawn said...

Kids are jerks.

Family Adventure said...

LOL! Your poor, poor parents.

Heidi

Dick Small said...

Hey my parents took me to Disney World the same year. although, It might have been '74. Regardless, the castle was real. We ate in the restaurant at the top floor. Maybe you went the year before I, so maybe they put a prop up to show people what was coming.....

Mustafa Şenalp said...

çok güzel bir site.

evil-e said...

A little asshat, that is new to me.

I felt the same way when I realized haunted houses were nothing but a bunch of stoners wearing zombie make-up and running around in the dark.

rak said...

mr. small is LYING!!! cause i went in '95 and still no "inside of the castle"...

and no, i'm not calling you a liar, dick...

but mr. small is definitely LYING!!

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

SRU - the ears were not a phenom at my school, nor were Garanimals. We lived in a poorer suburb of Columbus were not having a car on cinder blocks in your front yard made you "the fancy people".

Tara - I was totally bummed out - I forgave Disney and MDH and I go there alsmost every year like a couple of dorks. We love it.

Pistols - I was especially expressive with my frowns and pouts.

Heidi - We laugh about it now, but right after this picture was taken I threw a huge tantrum (awkward - I was six, not two) and got spanked by my dad in Fantasyland.

Mr. Small - how nice to see you again! You are right and my parents either lied because they didn't feel like taking me up there, or it was temporary as the park was still very new.

Mustafa - wow! Bien Venue! Welcommen! C'mon In! Sorry I don't know how to say Welcome to my blog in Turkish.

Evil - I see "asshat" around here and there but it always makes me smile.

The best haunted house I've ever been to was in some old warehouse in Columbus that had been set up to resemble an insane asylum. All of the exhibits were like hospital-ish ghouls in white jackets coming after you with giant hypodermic needles, or you'd hear someone screaming and walk by a surgery with an awake patient and stuff like that.
All the normal ones were a yawn after that.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Hi Rak! - you snuck in there when I wasn't looking. Anyway, now I'm terribly confused. The disappointment is obvious from the look on my grape juiced stained face and I'm pretty sure my parents weren't lying (at least not about the castle).

I know that NOW the damn castle has all kinds of shit in there including a fancy-schmancy hotel suite.

another good thing said...

I am so with you on the evilness of the D-world facade. I refuse to go there- did a one day horror money sucking fest at Disneyland in CA in my twenties and vowed to never return- my peer pressure concession was a three day trip to Orlando with the kids - staying in a penthouse free booze room on site at Universal Studios and dinner in the shark restaurant at Seaworld.

Dick Small said...

Nope Rak, not lying. I ate at the restaurant at the top. My mom and I still talk about it. 1974. Sorry, you're wrong. And no matter how much you insist you're right, you're just as wrong as you were at the beginning.

Dick Small said...

I remember all the staff were dressed up in these medeival costumes. There were those coat of arms all over the walls. We took the elevator to the top (where the restaurant was). I can almost remember the smell of the place, and the new carpet. I had chicken and vanilla ice cream for dessert.

Dick Small said...

... well, not chicken AND vanilla ice cream for dessert. The chicken was the main course, and then for dessert, that's when I had the vanilla ice cream.
I can see how that might have left you wondering. Sorry.

Churlita said...

I went to Disneyland when I was seven. I don't even remember seeing the castle. I remember "It's a Small World" and being afraid I'd fall out of the little boat we were riding in. I didn't get any Mickey Mouse ears either. I haven't been to Land or World since.

dmarks said...

I remember the same disappointment about the Disneyworld castle. It turned out to be a prop with a tunnel.

Dick Small said...

Oh you guys, you're SO wrong! It was REAL! It was. hahahaha

Dick Small said...

Okay, HERE:
http://www.allearsnet.com/tp/mk/castle.htm
ATTRACTION -- Cinderella Castle opened when the Magic Kingdom debuted on October 1, 1971. Painted in grey, blue, and gold, the Castle represents the Walt Disney Imagineers' concept of a French palace-fortress. The base of the Castle is medieval in nature, while the turrets and graceful spires on the the upper level represent the architecture of a more Gothic era.

The Castle was completed in July 1971, after about 18 months of construction. No bricks were used, and, contrary to a popular legend, the Castle can NOT be taken apart in the event of a hurricane. It was, however, built to withstand hurricane winds of at least 90 miles per hour. The inner structure is steel covered with fiberglass, secured to a concrete foundation. The turrets and towers also have internal steel framing and were lifted by crane, then bolted permanently to the main structure.

DINING

A circular stairwell or a themed elevator takes you to the second floor of the Castle so you can dine at Cinderella's Royal Table for breakfast, lunch or dinner. Younger guests are treated like royalty, called "princes" or "princesses," while adult guests are addressed as "lords" or "ladies."

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Well my goodness... I don't know what to say except calm down Mr. Small and get a hold of yourself. No one is calling you a liar. Well, I guess that's not true. Shame on you Rak - no more name calling in my comments please.

I was six, my memory is not so great and my parents, lovely though they may be, were then and still now, prone to lying to get them out of situations that may be 1) awkward, 2)a pain in the ass, 3)expensive, and 4)take them further away from cocktails. A restaurant in Cinderella's Castle may have resulted in 2 of these 4 situations, so it's entirely possible they were lying about there not being anything in it.

All I know is that I have the sourest puss on my face in the photo and at the time I was told that it was and empty shell. I know that now it has cool stuff in it.

Dick Small said...

Hahahaha. I was only having some fun.
We're having a blizzard today and there's not much else going on...
(c:

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Mr. Small - It's totally cool and was fun for me too!

The restuarant sounds like exactly what I would've wanted it to be. The whole royal treatment and being called Princess - awesome!

Dick Small said...

Please, call me Dick. Mr. Small sounds so formal... and formality makes me really uncomfortable..

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

No problem Dick.

Family Adventure said...

I am *dying* reading this commentary. Fab final word, Lady, as always :)

Heidi

The Guv'ner said...

Whoa, late to the party. I never got to Disneyland till 1999 (and I was an adult - in age at least!) and I remember thinking "......is this it?"

I know. I show up late and have nothing. I suck.