Fuck it. This blog and this post in particular is X-Rated.
OK, I'm posting this.
I've been holding onto it for some time now and can't seem to let it go. It's a little more on the risque side than my normal "Nobody Needs This" post, so I've put the picture of the item down closer to the bottom in case you don't want to see it, you'll have time to click off of my blog. Here is a nice blog about knitting you can click on instead.
Today I release to you:
The Wonderous Vulva Puppet
This item sells for $600. That's American dollars. This price doesn't include $30 to ship inside the continental US. I'm at a complete loss for words. Well, not really.
The website where I found this thing describes it as a tool for educators, healers and lovers. I totally get the educators and healers part. That makes sense. But if it's a tool for educators and healers why does it have to be velvet and cost 600 bucks? If it's a tool for lovers - get the fuck away from me.
Seriously, if you require a velvet vulva puppet to explain to your man all the things he's doing wrong you've probably got more problems outside of the boudoir and should break up with this dude.
Or worse yet can you imagine your mother coming after you with this thing to teach you about the birds and the bees?
This is kinda gross, right?
Or am I just bad at womanhood. No don't want to use the word hood...
Now, all that being said they are kinda pretty and I can't help but like this product and the fact that someone goes out and buys fabric and sews them together.
Wait. No. That didn't come out right.
Buys fabric and stitches...
Nope. That doesn't work either.