Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Nobody In Their Right Mind Would Need This #10 - Things Found In My Own Home Edition Redux

Auto Pet Feeder

On the surface it seems practical doesn't it?

"I'm going away for a couple of days and I don't want my pet to overeat."

You can control the amout that they eat and the interval in which the lid spins.


Why not?

Here's why - because batteries DIE.

Yes. We once went away for 4 days and starved our poor cat because the battery in this useless piece of crap died after one day. I haven't found one that plugs into the wall and that's because I'm not looking. We now include the price of boarding into our vacation budgets.

A Big Giant Box Of Tangled Cords & Wires

I'm not allowed to throw this away or put it in the Goodwill pile. MDH swears that this box has saved our lives and careers. I don't believe him.

And while I'm at it - why the hell do we have the orange faux leather suitcase? I didn't eve see that piece of shit until I posted this.

A Cabinet Full of Half Used Beauty Products

MDH is not allowed to throw this away.

I think it's obvious that I have a problem. I blame the media, glossy fashion magazines and the advertising industry for preying on weak minds like mine.

I just want to be pretty.

I just want to smell nice.

I just want to be loved.

It was all on sale!


Tara said...

That kind of looks like my linen closet. My closet has many personality layers..Bottom half is like a junkdrawer, second shelf has more cleaning products than there are rooms in my apartment, third shelf has towels, hand towels, washcloths and bedsheets, and the last, top shelf has my entire VHS and DVD collection.

dmarks said...

I once had a gigantic box of cords and wires to get rid of. I took it to the local amateur radio enthusiast flea market ("hamfest") and set it down, giving it away for free. It was hilarous: like starving rats being served cheese, the hams flooded from all corners of the high-school gym where the thing was being held and started to paw through the box.

Family Adventure said...

Your poor, poor cat!

We have a box with cords and wires, too. And I kid you not, Mike has used the EXACT same line on me. Life-saving blah, blah, blah. It must be in the 'man book' they get handed out at birth.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Tara - sounds like you need a basement.

dmarks - hi! That is a great idea and I love the imagery you've provided here.

Heidi - we have moved this box with us 3 times to 3 different homes. It always looks exactly like the picture. I have never personally needed anything in it, nor have I ever seen MDH remove anything from it that was the leat bit useful.

Now, that being said - being a geek, I have my OWN box of cords and wires that are neatly wrapped and tied, easily accessible and periodically purged.

Suzel's Sass said...

I need one of these pet feeders for myself. As for the rest, it's like you came into my house and took the pictures.

The Guv'ner said...

I have a milk crate under the bed FULL of wires and cables and adaptors and stuff that I have no earthly idea a) what they're for b) what to do with them and c)what possible use they might have since they've been under there for about five years and I haven't missed any of them...

I also find the most astonishing things. Thing is there's something wrong with me. I get unusually attached to things and if I throw out old chair...I fret about it waiting on the street for the garbage truck and I feel bad for it and I swear this is true - I HAVE RESCUED ITEMS I DISCARDED in the past because it was all just "too sad".

I blame PMS mostly. For everything.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Sass - do you not like your pet?

Guv! - MDH thinks my heart is made of titanium. 4 moves ago before I knew him I threw out a box that had been in the top of my hall closet without opening it. I had lived in that apartment for 5 years and never needed whatever was in that box so I threw it in the dumpster - unopened. Yeah.

Step Right Up said...

Okay, seriously, my OCD so wants to organize that box of mangled cords and your shelves of beauty products. PLEASE for the love of my sanity, sit down with MDH and neatly gather each cord in a bundle and fasten with a twist tie or rubberband. And QUICK run to The Container Store or something similar and buy some neat little shelf organizers and divide each beauty product in to its own little distinct category and then ORGANIZE. Then take a photo so my little OCD brain does not explode from what I've just seen.

Churlita said...

I think you and your husband are perfect for each other. That's what I think.

pistols at dawn said...

Holy crap! This reminds me of an essay I read once asking why the hell women have so many unguents - are they alligators? Are their skins so dry that they are in danger of spontaneous combustion at all times, saved only by 1,000 bottles of green tea lemon verbena extracts?

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Step - Sorry honey, I'm not going anywhere near that box again. As for my potions, I'm due for a purge soon anyway.

Pistols - collections like mine are exactly why the fairer sex is fairer.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Churlita - we are truly nauseating.

Hot Lemon said...

good grief,how DEEP is that closet? How deep, for that matter, is th' box o' wires n' crap??

Suzel's Sass said...

No, I need a timed feeder to keep myself away from food :)