Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Nobody In Their Right Mind Would Need This #12 Special Only in America, Anger Fueled, Foul Language Whips & Dubs Edition

Bumper Nutz
Sometimes I really hate men. Sometimes I think a great majority of them are assholes.

But I always really hate being stuck behind this particular kind of asshole in traffic.

Asshole.

How long before someone invents Bumper Puss?

Diamond Rims for $22,000
Are you out of your goddamn mind with this ostentatious fucking bullshit?




Motherfucking Idiots On Crotch Rockets
Dear Shirtless and/or Helmetless Squids,

Please, by all means kill yourselves, but don't take me down with you. I know you think that you're all invincible and shit, but seriously, you're scaring the bejeezus out of all of us. You're giving me a stroke.

Assholes.

20 comments:

Step Right Up said...

bumper nuts-geerooossss!

diamond rims-since I cannot afford diamonds or for that matter even diamelles, I plan on hot glueing rhinestones on my rims

crotch rockets-you can pretty much sum up a guy's personality if they're riding a crotch rocket. And that's not a personality I approve of.

constant_drama said...

Ok agreeing with you there, on both accounts.

Bastards, all of them.

Suze said...

I drove behind someone whose license plate read "Total Package". Ugh!

pistols at dawn said...

What about those of us who put those balls on our crotch rockets to match our diamond rims? Jealous much?

Del-V said...

Just so you know, when those assholes crash and break their spine, doctors use the organs from their brain-dead bodies to keep little kids with cancer alive. So you could say those crotch rocket bikers are heroes.

Stupid-ass heroes.

Now if you don't mind, I'm going to Bedazzle my seatbelt!

Coaster Punchman said...

Oh well, at least it's not those nudie girls on the mudflaps.

Churlita said...

I wouldnever have sex with a guy who had any of those things. Which, I'm sure means that all the men in the world are going to run out and buy them now.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

SRU - they are totally gross, especially the flesh colored ones.

C Drama - welcome! I don't know any women who beef up their vehicles this way. Maybe it's like the equivilent to a male peacocks showy feathers. Operative word being cock.

Suze - don't get me started on penis enhancing vanity plates. I'd like to see some that say:
N'ADIQTE, TINY1, BALDY,
AHOLE, IMAPIG

Pistols - that was you? I mean, I didn't notice.

Del-V - so they are doing this for the kids? Please send pictures of the finished seat belt enhancements.

Mr. Punchman - welcome to my blog! I don't seem to have a problem with the girly show mud flaps, maybe because they've been around for so long. But big scrotum shaped rubber hangy things, that's different.

Churlita - It eliminates a great deal of the dating pool. You can tell a lot about a man by the car he drives. I suggest a man who's car has no embellishments, such has rubber testicles, pissing Calvin's or neon lights underneath.

Family Adventure said...

In all seriousness, that first picture is DISGUSTING. Really, really gross and I *hate* this idiot subjecting me to his own personal fixations.

Ewww...I'm just weirded out right now. Yuck.

Heidi

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Heidi - I'm so sorry I keep making you sad or grossing you out lately! I'll try to write a post very soon that you won't have to give me a sad face for :(

Laaw-yuhr said...

Hey, just one more way to separate the wheat from the chaff as far as I'm concerned.

Blowing Shit Up With Gas said...

I don't get it. If they buy the testicles, why don't they buy the entire genetalia? I mean, why stop at simply testicles?

WendyB said...

What are you talking about? These pictures are pure elegance!

minijonb said...

does this male behavior (or behaviour for our Canadian readers) really surprise you?!? ... wait, i kinda like the bling on the rims...

=:-)

The Guv'ner said...

Nothing says class more than guys with chicken chests riding topless on a bike. Yes we all would LOVE to see your scrawny, white rib cages, thank you SO much.

I aim to glue sequins and diamonds to MY rim. It might be a little scratchy though...

I'm in NYC so you know, I don't have a car.

Del-V said...

The Bedazzled seatbelt didn't go so well. I'm going to have to impress people I drive past with a solid gold car and a trunk full or Picasso paintings.

evil-e said...

Your beautiful....

I am ordinary car guy. I have a nice car with zero adornments except for my Steelers helmet hanging form the rear view. I do not have these stupid stickers, rims, lights, or those annoying "baseball through the windshield" things.

Crotch rocketeers are usually slack jawed hip hop dorks and deserve nothing more than to be side swiped.

Chris said...

Oh balls. Here's a post I wrote last summer 'bout that same topic.

http://radloffthoughts.blogspot.com/2007/08/dont-get-teste-with-me-mister.html

Regarding Squids -- I think it oughta be a law that you can't buy a crotch rocket with an engine larger than 350cc until you've put a minimum of 5,000 miles on a smaller crotchket. If you live through the 5,000 mile training period on the smaller bike, then you can go out and buy that fancy 1200cc plastic toy... It bugs me to no end that the bike shops will sell a 180-mile-per-hour suicide machine to a 17-year-old who's never been on a bike in his life.

A 40-year-old buddy of mine who has been riding his whole life has a cruiser, a tourer, and a rocket. He says that he enjoys riding the crotch rocket around occasionally, but "only on the track, and geeze, man, wear some armor -- those things are deadly. My kid's not getting one."

another good thing said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. I love the hanging nuts. THough I'd rather see them dangling like mistletoe from the foyer chandelier of my gay friend's house. ( with a twinkly little bow.)

dmarks said...

Thank you for today's dose of road rage. Or blog rage about roads, anyway.