Monday, November 5, 2007

Much Ado About Knucklehead

And he didn't even show up.

Apparently Miami told him to stay away and so he did.

Everyone is a little afraid of Miami.

With that potential drama no longer a worry a mostly good time was had by all at the 100th birthday celebration of MDH's granny, Nanny.

On Nanny's big day it rained like hell and MDH and I had to drive all over Somerville and Cambridge on various errands as commanded by Miami, picking up cakes, cannolis, etc.. At one point MDH listened to a voice mail from Miami and said, "Miami now wants us to go down to the bar and pick up M & M's", and because of the typical naming structure of most of Miami's friends I said, "who the fuck is that?" Turns out he actually meant the candy. Miami had special ordered custom birthday M&M's for Nanny's party and had them delivered to the bar. What a relief.

My main concern was of course, my hair and make-up. Because of the rain and gusty winds I was on the verge of a potential beauty disaster and demanded to be dropped off at the door at every stop like a goddamned diva. I'm usually not this demanding or for that matter demanding at all, but we're talking about an all day event and having my picture taken every 5 seconds.

Once we arrived at the party it was pretty smooth sailing. Miami barked and grunted orders at everyone and we all did as he said. Nanny drank 3 glasses of Merlot, ate 4 stuffed
quahogs and a giant piece of cake.

For some reason Miami thought it would be a hoot to give Nanny a g-string as a birthday present, and it kind of was.

MDH and I got her an electric kettle because she continues to boil water on the stove to make her tea although she has nearly burned the building down on numerous occasions, melting 4 tea pots in the process in as many years. She seemed to like it, but the look on her face when she opened the g-string was priceless.

I would like to state for the record: I probably won't need to eat Italian food again for the rest of the year or possibly longer.

Italian Food Items Consumed:

  1. Napoli-style pizza with fried eggplant on it (dee-lish!!)

  2. Spaghetti with a meatball the size of Detroit

  3. Cannoli

  4. Eggplant Parm

  5. Anchovies drenched in oil on toast points

  6. Carbonara

  7. Mussels Bianco (sounds like another one of Miami's friends)

Due to a collective brain fart MDH and I spent an extra day in Boston.

We arrived at Boston-Logan Airport yesterday morning all puffed up and proud that we had made such good time. A major feat considering we had stopped by Ma's for coffee on our way and between maneuvering our way out of Cambridge, finding an open gas station and missing our freeway exit, we somehow got to the airport early.

Our pride soon turned to shame as we stood at the airline check-in kiosk with the screen displaying a message that took a few minutes to sink in, "You may not check in more than 24 hours before your scheduled departure time."

What the fuck?

Yes, our flight home was booked for the next day. We had each looked at the itinerary several times and neither one of us picked up on this. We had only booked a hotel thru Sunday.

We decided to make the most of it and not tell anyone in his family that we were still in town and got on the laptop and Hotwire booked a room at the Boston Intercontinental which now stands officially as the swankiest hotel I have ever stayed in.

You can take a water taxi directly from Logan to the Intercontinental for $10 per person and I highly recommend that you do so someday. You'll have the most spectacular view of the city. Even if you've been to Boston a million times like I have it will still take your breath away. We even saw some Harbor Seals hanging around.

We spent our bonus Boston day walking all around the city, from the financial district to the North End. Along the way we noticed lots of trailers and lighting equipment and followed the trail to a film crew staging and filming a scene for Pink Panther 2. Then we kept walking until we found ourselves at the Union Oyster House where we stopped in for some chowder and grilled oysters and had two very large Sam Adam's Octoberfests. Yum.

Later we (MDH) watched the Patriots beat the Colts from the humongous TV in our very glamorous hotel room. Features of our glamorous hotel room:

  • Big giant flat screen TV (unfortunately NOT high-def)

  • Intimacy Kit in the mini-bar (only $12 - our best guess was condom and tube-a-lube)

  • A doorbell

  • Electronic "Do Not Disturb"

  • Reading lights that were all bendy and posable (we kept pretending they were microphones and sang songs in them to each other)

Enormous soaking tub with jets

  • Enormous shower with real shelf space for products - also must note that steam kept itself in the shower so as not to fog up bathroom mirror

  • Glam Fainting Couch AKA Chaise lounge

  • 1 million thread count sheets (but they were Euro style flat sheets that come all undone and end up around your neck the second you start to have any fun at all)

  • Brookstone alarm clock (not sure why this impressed me so much)

I thought I'd try something new and opened a Flickr account. You can see pictures from our trip here.


Family Adventure said...

Party sounded like a huge success. A little disappointed that there was no drama, but only for us bloggers out there. Probably the best thing for nanny there was no scene. That picture of her is awesome.

The food - omg, my mouth was watering just reading the list of food consumed. So.Envious.

And hey, I think that was a subliminal message to take a day in Boston the two of you. Could it possibly have worked out any better? I've never been to Boston, but everyone says to go. Now I'll go water taxi style. And stay at the Intercontinental.


Stepping Over the Junk said...

I wish you'd come by on your extra day! (although, I am kind of at the end of the earth). Let me know next time you arein town!

Laaw-yuhr said...

What a swanky weekend. I am totally jealous!

minijonb said...

nice photos in the flickr set. and it sounds like quite a wonderful relaxing weekend you had! now i want to head to Boston and try it out myself.


Churlita said...

So,I guess that means no photos of the crack whore, huh?

It's nice to hear that you and your husband were, ahem, trying to have enough fun to mess up your sheets.

pistols at dawn said...

That sounds like good times. I've dated a lot of people from really lame towns, and I've gotta say, having family in Boston would be great, especially if they cooked a lot.

Also, you may be new to them, but there are things entitled "calendars." They were invented so long ago the days are named for old gods ("Sunday" for the sun, "Monday" for the moon, etc.), but a lot of people haven't learned about them yet. I'd suggest picking one up, as they're handy in discerning where you're supposed to be and when.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Heidi - No drama and lots of good food. The water taxi is actually cheaper than a regular kind.

This hotel was amazing and the service was impeccable.

Stepping - I wanted to come by so badly but we didn't have our car anymore. Next time for sure!

Laaw - Now that you're a big fancy bar exam passer you should treat yourself to just such a weekend. We got the room on Hotwire for almost half the regular price.

Mini - Boston is a terrific city even if you don't have family there to visit.

Churlita - No Crackwhore photos. It is kind of disappointed after all the build-up in my head that I shared here on my blog. I was suprised that Knucklehead didn't show up though - I thought he might just to spite Miami.

Pistols - If I had a job I might worry about such things as calendars, but things worked out for the best. Living in oblivion is a lot more fun.

Michelle said...

I love family drama, was looking forward to the crackwhore picture but the food descriptions will do! Sounds like a nice time was had by all.