Thursday, November 1, 2007

Love Means Never Having To Say "You're Spending The Rest Of Your Life In The Pokey Knucklehead"

Or at least I thought so.

Another Knucklehead Update:

Syracuse also informed MDH last night that Knucklehead is "in love" and still seeing the woman, we'll call her The Crackwhore, he's soon to serve time over. I won't tell you what the charges are, but I will tell you that he was already awaiting trial for allegedly beating a co-worker in the face with a brick when there allegedly occurred some rather serious brouhaha with The Crackwhore. Very serious alleged brouhaha. And they are still together?

I haven't met her and don't even know her name, but I'm on pins and needles wondering if he'll bring her to the birthday party (if he comes). Here is how I picture her:



Except I assume she'll be wearing more than photo-shopped pasties and probably not using a big doobie as an fashion accessory.

We should have a lot in common and get along just great. Maybe we'll head over to Filene's to buy pot holders and doilies, or have afternoon tea at the Omni.

Can you picture me in my cashmere and tweed making small talk at this party? Does anybody else find this as ridiculous and hilarious as I do? No one in the family thinks it's very funny.

11 comments:

Family Adventure said...

I never thought I would see the words *crackwhore* and *tweed* in the same paragraph.

Ok, so they are not exactly in the same paragraph, but close enough.

In fact, maybe a little too close?!

Good luck.

Heidi

pistols at dawn said...

People never think the failings of their families are funny for some reason. However, that doesn't mean the rest of us aren't laughing our asses off at their misery.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Heidi - They are all really sweet to me and I have no issues, except for shifty eyed Knucklehead who looks like he wants to rip my diamond engagement ring off, finger and all, and make a tear for the nearest pawnshop. So imagining the woman who would love this man is difficult.

I'm eating a big fat cannoli at this shindig, maybe two.

Pistols - when we get the weird collect calls from county jails, and have conversations about bail, brick beatings and possession charges it's surreal. You have to laugh.

Catherinette Singleton said...

I'm intrigued. I wonder if maybe we should set him up with my neighbor, Ms. Travesty. They could get along quite well, and she has a thing for jailbirds.

rak said...

you have to tell us if she DOES indeed end up looking like that!!! it will make my day! take notes and be prepared to give us a full description:)

Tara said...

Yeah...after seeing that photo I think I'm going to just go poke my eyes out. I'll be right back.

Wow. Lots of drama!

Churlita said...

I agree with Rak,I want to see a picture of her.

Good luck. Can you drink your way through the turmoil?

Step Right Up said...

I'm picturing her with stringy hair, very thin physique becoming of a crack whore, and shifty eyes.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Catherinette - I'm sure his dance card is already quite full, but you never know! Que sera sera or habeas corpus!

Rak - if I get to see/meet her trust me I'm blabbing and blogging all about it.

Tara - sorry shoulda warned you.

Churlita - I may be able to snap something on the sly - if I can.

I'm staying sober I need to keep my wits about me and besides - the party's in the middle of the afternoon. If anything, sometimes Nanny asks me if I'll split a beer with her.

Step - I'm ready for anything and leaving my engagement ring safe at home.

The Guv'ner said...

GAH!

I read all the words and all but that picture....Those...what are they? Naked underfed ferrets? On the table? My life can never be what it was now I've seen that.

But I'm dying to see the REAL tweedy crackwhore.

Hot Lemon said...

wow. Aren't those the same pasties that Janet Jackson was wearing when she had her lil' mishap??