From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler

Does anybody remember that book? It's the one about the kids who run away from home and spend the night in the museum. God I loved that book! Then I saw that movie Night at the Museum with Ben Stiller and the fantasy of spending the night in a museum went right out the damn window. Night at the Museum put everything right in your face and didn't leave anything behind for the imagination. I'm sorry I saw it.

Anyhoo... that's not what this post is about. This post is about all the shows that are sitting, unwatched thus far, on our DVR. My eclectic viewing tastes reminded me of the title of the book, which in turn made me mad at Ben Stiller. I'm having that kind of day.

DVR is a remarkable thing. Some of you may know it as Tivo. We've had the fancy, high definition cable with a DVR for about 5 years now. It's wonderful. I don't know when was the last time I watched a commercial.

The main problem with having a DVR is this: it gets full and some shows have to be either watched or deleted to make room for new recordings. Right now our DVR is at 94% capacity and mostly with my shows. MDH watches and gets his shows out of the way. I dawdle and procrastinate (yes, I procrastinate TV watching too) and now I've got a ton of stuff out there clogging up our disk space. I've been tasked by MDH to clean it up this week. Will the chores never end? (sigh)

I thought I'd share with you what I'm up against. So without further ado - here's the contents of our DVR (in alphabetical order by title):

A Night at the Opera - (1935) - the Marx Brothers movie. I've never seen it. Well, that's not totally true. I've started to watch it several times and always fall asleep. MDH recorded it and I've vowed to watch it with him without nodding off.

Anthony Bourdain No Reservations - Russia

Anthony Bourdain No Reservations - Brazil - We've had this episode sitting on our DVR since August. I'm kind of sick of travel shows about Brazil right now, but Tony Bourdain is my secret boyfriend so I can't bring myself to delete it.

Born Into Brothels (2004) Documentary - this is the IMDB synopsis:
"Amidst the apparent growing prosperity of India, there is a dark underbelly of poverty of another side of the nation that is little known. This film is a chronicle of filmmakers Zana Briski and Ross Kauffman's efforts to show that world of Calcutta's red light district. To do that, they inspired a special group of children of the prostitutes of the area to photograph the most reluctant subjects of it. As the kids excel in their new found art, the filmmakers struggle to help them have a chance for a better life away from the miserable poverty that threatens to crush their dreams."

Bukowski - Born Into This (2003) Documentary - Documentary on Charles Bukowski, author of 'Notes of a Dirty Old Man', 'Love Is a Dog from Hell', and the autobiographical novels, 'Women', 'Hollywood', and 'Post Office'

A Chef's Story - I've got 5 high definition episodes of this PBS series waiting for me.

Conversations with Other Women (2005) - I love Helena Bonham Carter and I've waited a long time to see this film. GR simply has no good movie theaters where films like this are shown. If you live in a big city and don't go to the movies, or worse, go to the movies but only see the big Hollywood blockbuster types of movies - shame on you.

Diner's, Drive-In's & Dives 4 Episodes - Each episode is kind of exactly like the next and the host of the show says stupid things like "off the hook" and "out of control" to describe the food, but I guess I enjoy watching truckers eat sloppy burgers and sausage gravy.

Dirty, Sexy Money - I like this show OK. I'm still on the fence as to whether or not I can commit to another new series, but I liked the character Lisa's hair so much that I took this picture with me to the salon and had the stylist cut and color my hair like hers. Unprecedented. Yes. I cut my hair in a style other than my standard blond bob.

5 Days - It's an HBO mini-series. I've watched the entire series and have the finale left to watch, but I've been putting it off.

French Beauty (2005) Documentary - "A story about the riddle of femininity in French cinema." - because I don't feel unattractive enough already.

Frontline "The Undertaking" - "A look at funeral homes, featuring poet Thomas Lynch". Yes.

Grey's Anatomy - 2 episodes - more proof that I can't commit, or has this show jumped the shark?

Iconoclasts - 3 episodes - it's a Sundance Channel series showcasing bizarre friendships between (usually) an actor and a less famous person with a talent other than acting. Some of the pairings make sense, like actor Samuel L. Jackson and "sports legend" Bill Russel. Some of the other pairings make no sense whatsoever like actor Renee Zellweger and journalist Christiane Amanpour. It's sponsored by Grey Goose Vodka who is constantly chiming in with annoying wistful ads of dreamy flying geese. Ultimately they are selling booze so what's with the gauzy dream? Also geese are really gross and always pooping on everything and not at all the animal that what I would want to represent my product (if I had one). They're like big giant pigeons really. This show is annoying, but also compelling. I will probably fast forward through most of them and especially the damn vodka ads.

Masterpiece Theatre, parts 3 & 4 "The Amazing Mrs. Pritchard" - if you haven't been watching this series you're missing out big time. It drew me in because it stars Jane Horrocks, who I love as a grocery store manager who becomes Prime Minister of England.

NOVA - 2 episodes

Oprah Winfrey - 3 episodes - you know I have this set a series recording. Yes I do. Quel surprise! I don't always watch it though. I think Oprah has some great topics and sometimes the show is a lot of fun, but she bugs me. She doesn't seem to let people finish talking and last year she did a series where she traveled across the country on a driving trip with her best friend Gayle and she was really a bitch and not very nice to Gayle. I think Miss Oprah has gotten above her raisin' and is totally out of touch with real life.
The Real Housewives of Orange County - Speaking of out of touch, these women are totally ridiculous. They are all puffed up, sucked in and display the worst parenting skills I've ever seen from rich (or semi-rich) people. The ostentation is nauseating and yet I can't take my eyes off their train wreck-ish-ness.

Seinfeld - 4 Episodes - I had trouble believing it but there are episodes of this show that I missed. I spent the better part of the late 90's evenings attending night school. So instead of Must See TV - for me it was Must Get Degree. I'm fairly certain I've seen every episode of Friends at least 5 times by now.

Smart Travels with Rudy Maxa - Vancouver & Victoria, British - Columbia - MDH and I have very different television preferences and one of the few types of programming that we enjoy watching together are travel shows. He gets especially excited when a travel show (or any show really) is available in high definition like Smart Travels is. We watch this show together, although I don't really care for Rudy Maxa. Between you and me, I think Rudy Maxa is an elitist girly man fucksicle, but I'm happy to put up with him so that I can watch TV while holding my darling's hand.

Sunday Morning - I like this show if only for the French horn theme music at the beginning. You hardly ever hear the French horn anywhere else. This show will get deleted without being watched. I keep forgetting to turn off the series recording.

The Departed (2006) Drama - My darling loves all movies filmed in or about Boston. I care because he cares, although I do not care to watch this film. I will watch it. Because I love him, I will watch this film that he has already seen twice without me, with him by my side, talking nonstop throughout the entire thing and pointing out in each scene how the location is relevant to his life somehow. I will do this for him out of love.