His & Hers Bingo Masks
I love making fun of old people just as much as the next jerk, but it's hard enough to breathe at bingo with all of the cigarette smoke without wearing a rubber mask. Besides you wouldn't be able to see properly through those eye holes to plop your marker on the right numbers. You'd just make a damn mess.
I also think the hats are a little redundant. Of course you love bingo. You wouldn't be there if you didn't. I'd like to see a hat that conveys a more honest message, like "I Smoke and I've Got a Gambling Problem" or "This Is the Only Time I Ever Leave the House and My Kids Never Visit" but I guess there isn't enough space.
Also known as Buy Some New Pants, Fatass. It's better than muffin top, but only marginally.
At only $3.95 a pop I suppose it's more economical than buying new pants, but really, just go ahead and unbutton your pants. You know you want to. Keep an extra set in your pocketbook for Crab Leg Night at the Golden Trough.
Apparently Adriana Lima was busy so they had to hire an artist to draw it instead. It appears to be made entirely of spider webs.