Thursday, January 17, 2008

Tidy Up Playlist

Last night I topped off a husbandless week by going out to Karaoke with Rachel and Aria. I drank two beers and sang a decent rendition of "Something to Talk About", cheered loud hillbilly Ya-hoo's when a group of folks I'd never seen there before chose a Red Hot Chili Peppers tune and broke out in goosebumps when Aria belted "I'm Every Woman" and some Christina Aguilera song I think was called "Impossible", hitting every note perfectly. Rachel busted out my finale (it was my finale because I left afterwards) with "Let's Hear It for the Boy".

It was a good time, but the party is over.

This morning while sitting in the den, having my tea I heard a rustling of papers and looked over to see our cat Turtle making a pathetic attempt to look nonplussed after squeezing himself into his favorite napping spot. Over the course of the week I'd thoughtlessly covered it up with a pile of mail, newspapers and a pair of shoes. He laid down, draped one of his front legs across the heel of the shoe, and gave me a withering, disgusted look.

"Loud and clear, buddy" I said getting up. "I'm on it."

I've had 4 days of walking by piles of clothes and kicking off my shoes where I stand and leaving them where they lay. There are piles of unopened mail in nearly every room in my house. Even by my normal standards of bachelor living when MDH is away I've been a slob. I've hung my jackets and scarves on the treadmill instead of walking 10 feet and hanging them properly in the foyer closet and set a new roll of toilet paper 1 foot away on the side of the tub instead of simply replacing the old roll in the holder which is inches from the toilet.

I've already mentioned the fact that I have to vacuum the den. I won't take you there again.

These types of sloppiness are all simple enough to remedy, but not for me because I notice things as I straighten and end up losing focus.

As I bend over to pick up a pair of shoes from the kitchen floor I notice an errant splash of what appears to be spaghetti sauce on the baseboard under a cabinet. As I reach for the cleaner to wipe the cabinet I notice how dusty the window sill has gotten. As I lean across the sink to wipe down the window sill I notice all the crumbs that have gathered in the toaster.

The kitchen is typically the cleanest room in my house so I can already see how the rest of the day is going to pan out and now I'm irritated.

What better way to remedy irritation and make cleaning a little more tolerable than music?

So while I'm busy tidying up and going of on cleaning tangents I'll share with you some samples from what I like to call the Cleaning Playlist:

I Zimbra by Talking Heads - Who wouldn't want to scrub a toilet to this?

Blues In the Night by Artie Shaw - Just try not to to remove your rubber gloves burlesque stripper style when you listen to this. It simply cannot be done.

Rock Steady by Aretha Franklin - Changing the sheets.

Whammy Kiss by The B52's - Sorting the mail.

Beercan by Beck - A great song for gathering recylcing.

Hem of Your Garment by Cake - Helps me start the laundry and put away shoes.

Me, Myself & I by De La Soul - Windexing mirrors.

Cold Beverage by G. Love & Special Sauce - Time for a break.

Mother's Little Helper by the Rolling Stones - Still break time.

Sexbomb by Tom Jones - Swing your hips and sing into the mop handle.


Family Adventure said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Family Adventure said...

I am boogeying with you...but do I need to be cleaning at the same time?!

Enjoy the reunion!


Anonymous said...

Hey, when you're through with your cleaning, did you want to stop by and tidy up my house? You can even listen to your playlist at my house.

Churlita said...

I have to do that cleaning thing too tonight before Erik gets here tomorrow. I just need to get my playlist going first.

minijonb said...

wow... yeah, that Talking Heads song would be great for that... but i now have all my Karaoke classics in my head like the "Woo-Hoo" song by Blur (Song #2) and "Take the Skinheads Bowling" by Camper Van Beethoven. yes, i'm a freak.

Anonymous said...

Remind me if I invite you over to my house to blindfold you.

Anonymous said...

After you're done, why don't you boogie on over to my place and put away the clean laundry on my dresser that P was complaining to me about this morning. I even have a plethora of music to choose from.

paperback reader said...

How about "Let's Just Hire a Damn Cleaning Lady?" by the Sensibles. That's the only song I listen to.

Gwen said...

Hey! I posted a G-Love reference today, too! We're twins!

Good luck cleaning. I hope you get it done and don't end up in trouble.

Anonymous said...

You have very interesting and wide ranging taste musically.

I give you credit for karaoke-ing...I cannot sing at all.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Heidi - the songs work with or without dustpans and mops - enjoy yourself!

Catherinette - I'll clean out your liquor cabinet.

Churlita - I'm way more efficient with the right tunes.

Minijonb - what karaoke to you go to? I've never seen those songs available anywhere or I'd totally go for it.

Suze - if you blindfold me I might trip over all of those silver running shoes you have laying around willy-nilly.

SRU - What is there to complain about if it's clean? It's easier to reach if you don't have to do all that bothersome drawer opening. What a pain.

Pistols - that is already my theme song and dream for the future.

Gwen - We saw G.Love in Chicago last Halloween, what a babe.

I won't get in trouble, but I can't let him know that I'm a slob because I'd lose all my nagging cred.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Hey Evil - you snuck in there while I wasn't looking.
I say thanks to you for not abusing us with your singing like many of the other schlumps at karaoke.

Although I don't mind bad singing as long as it's done theatrically or with some mojo out front.

Renaissance Woman said...

I love the idea of a cleaning playlist! Thanks for the ideas...I'll let you know if it helps me clean my equally messy house!

Tara said...

I listen to my CD of Mike Birbiglia, Jim Gaffigan and John Heffron while cleaning my apartment. Love those guys.

The Guv'ner said...

I used to sing in a band and I can tell you right now, I still wouldn't get up on a karaoke stage. It would take a boat load of booze to get me to even contemplate it. I's shy.

I too have a "clean the house" playlist. Full off up tempo punky goodness for motivation. I mean you have to. One day I hope to play this same playlist for THE MAID.

Claire said...

I have several clean the house playlists, too. Yours is excellent!

SkylersDad said...

Glad you had some time to yourself, and just break out the leaveblower to clean things back up quick!

BeckEye said...

I hope you fashioned your hair into a Sanjaya fauxhawk for your performance of "Something to Talk About."

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