Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Nobody In Their Right Mind Would Need This #4 - Things Found In My Own Home Edition

Treebeard Figurine
First of all I must qualify that it's not mine. It belongs to my spouse. Shamefully I admit, I have allowed it to sit in our kitchen window for the last 3 years, collecting tiny cobwebs in it's tiny plastic branches and scaring the crap out of any small children that ever come visit. Occasionally I forget that it's there and it scares me too.

Talking Yoda
It's ears, mouth and nose move while it talks in the voice of Grover from Sesame Street. This creepy item also belongs to my spouse. Shamefully however I have allowed it to sit on the dresser in our guest room for the last 3 years and when the mood strikes me I turn it on to freak out the cat. Fortunately we don't have that many guests.
YODA UPDATE 11:10AM - I hadn't looked at Yoda in awhile so decided to head into the guest room, call over the cat and have a go at at feline freak out. I noticed that our Yoda is now sporting a UMass headband and a quarter inch layer of dust. Why won't anyone come visit us?
YODA UPDATE 1:09PM - Went back into the guest room to tackle it with a swiffer, removed Yoda's headband (what a great band name) only to find underneath it a silver yarmulke bearing the embroidered words: The Wedding of Lynn To Jeffrey, July, 30 2006. Did I mention that I'm lousy at this housewife thing?

Quesadilla Maker
My only excuse for this is that is was an unregistered for wedding gift. Shamefully, I was excited to get it and used it several times before I realized I could use a handy invention called a skillet and get the same results.

To be fair I've added another item that's technically mine so that my spouse and I are 2 for 2 in the "why do we own this nutty thing?" competition I have created in my own mind (we are equal partners in this marriage after all). I paid quite a lot for this device that is great for chopping fresh herbs. I wanted it for a really long time and was so excited when I finally bought one that I also ran out and bought a huge bunch of parsley so I could begin chopping immediately. Newsflash to me via my spouse - a knife works for this task just as well. I have no shame to admit in owning this item. I cost too damn much and I have too much to prove. I use it all the time to justify to my spouse my need for it. That friends is why we have been eating so much damn tabbouleh.


Churlita said...

High Larry Us. I love the Yoda thing. Will you sell it?

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

with or without the dust and headband? it's not really mine to sell and i don't think Alan will part with it

Rachel said...

Wait, the one kitchen utensil that you actually took out of the drawer and showed me is something that no one in their right mind needs? lol

Well, at least the rice cooker wasn't included with this post.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Rachel: I can't remember what it could have been. But all the utensils are out of the drawer now and in a shopping bag in the dining room cause of the mice.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

I use that rice steamer every other day and you know it!