Wednesday, September 19, 2007

I've Got My Eye On YOU

I nearly forgot to tell you about the vision that passed before my office window this morning. Out of nowhere a middle-aged woman dressed very much like the jogger character from Diner Dash, sweatsuit, headband, headphones, traipsed through my backyard in broad daylight. I was stunned. It was like I'd seen Sasquatch.

What outstanding balls! We have a quarter acre lot away from the road. Our lot and the lots of every single one of our neighbors, both sides in front and on all sides in back are fenced in. You'd have to run a gauntlet of gates, thorny bushes, wooden planks, big mean dogs, and in our case a pile of rotten old cord wood, a 10 person hot tub and an enormous deck. Jogging through my backyard is something you would really have to go out of your way to do.

Besides that, people in my neighborhood (and I'm beginning to suspect most people who live in Western Michigan) have handguns, shotguns and bows and arrows and shit.

What the french, Toast?

It's entirely possible that she does this every day and that our back yard is part of her route. This may have been going on for years and I 'd never have known because I typically don't open the shades in the office until around 10am or so. The trespass occurred at around 8:15am.
She was cheating in a foot race by taking a shortcut through our yard.

Or Maybe:
It was casual Wednesday for the gas meter readers. Very casual.

What? I have no idea why a person over the age of 17 would do this.

I do know that I will be taking my tea and toast on the deck tomorrow morning. I'll be Tivo'ing BBC News and watching for the parade out back instead. I'm sincerely hoping she'll come by again. I'm not going to hurt her or probably even say anything to her at all. I will definitely make eye contact though.


Churlita said...

Weird. I'm a runner and I would never run through someone's backyard. How rude. It's also not very safe.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Churlita: No kidding, my neighbors are armed. Not me though, all I've got is a biscuit cutter and a dirty look. Didn't see anyone today. Was all keyed up for it. Darn.

Stepping Over the Junk said...

too bad you couldnt snap your fingers and have the sprinklers come on!

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

We are such bad suburbanites we don't own any sprinklers. But it would be cool to have snappy ones.