Since my darling has been working from home a lot this week and thereby hogging our home office and denying me the non-stop, all ages, open bar, all hours access to my computer that I normally enjoy, I have decided to post my Wednesday feature a little early. Otherwise I may not have a chance to post it at all. As he is currently wearing the pants and paying all the bills, I have to get in here while I can.
Now, onward with gross, out of control consumerism:
Protective Bug Top & Pants
Where the fuck do you live? And what are you doing outside if you think you need this outfit? Obviously the world has come to it's end and the mosquitoes have finally taken over because of all the standing water in your damn dirty birdbath and your neighbor who never emptied the baby pool all summer. You should really just stay inside.
Flowbee Haircutting System
I already have a "system" for cutting my hair and it's called:
"Make An Appointment At the Salon & Have A Professional Do It Because I Give A Shit About How I Look"
I was surprised to see this product is still in existence because it can only mean that people are still buying it. The photograph and model are really doing nothing to make the Flowbee more appealing to anyone. She looks as if it's taking every ounce of energy she has left in her body to grimace. It's a similar expression to the one I have made when I accidentally rolled my hair up in the car window.
BTW: The settings on the Flowbee apparently include Short, Medium, & Krusty the Clown.
Military Car Floor Mats
I don't like to get into politics, but in light of all the rah-rah support the troops hootenanny going on for the last several years and the war in Iraq I find this item infuriating.
Yes. By all means wipe your muddy, sludgy feet on a symbol of our brave men and women risking their lives for "freedom" overseas. Fuck it. I'm going out right this second and burning a flag.