Nobody In Their Right Mind Would Need This - Special SkyMall Edition

It has been quite awhile since I've been inspired by a product so dumb that I am moved to actually get up off my ass and then sit back down again in my office chair and create a post about it, but here it is:

The "Head Spa Massager"

Brought to you by the brilliant minds at SkyMall:

What fool can resist Italian design when paired with Japanese engineering?

Please, pretty please wear it to work.

I understand that times are tough so if you crave ownership of this lovely gadget but cannot afford $49.99 + shipping give me a call and I will personally come to your home, hand you a glass of red wine, put a spaghetti strainer on your head and knock you around a little bit until your blood circulation improves and you feel more relaxed.

I'm here to help.

Please Pass the Midol

I don't know what it is about Burt Reynold's Mustache that makes me sick, but here I am once again on the 4th of the month at home and ailing. I won't trouble you with the details, but I'm uncomfortable and dreary. I am also paranoid about missing work.

It's not a bad day to be staying home at all. It's raining and gray and the joy of my new green raincoat has already worn off. Besides MDH is in Chicago so the TV and I are enjoying the nice little break from all of the seemingly endless college basketball. I read this morning that UMass lost last night to OSU in the NIT or whatever so I'll have the rest of the spring and summer to be miserable with the Red Sox.

At the same time, unlike the time that I had that horrible stomach thingy, I'm not too ill to write a little something and somewhat enjoy my "day off" by watching daytime TV, getting a little laundry done here and there and catching up on my New York Magazine crossword puzzles.

While I'm busy being lazy and feeling sorry for myself won't you please enjoy this lovely post at Burt Reynolds Mustache? Cough, cough.

I should mention that I'm not really having "female trouble" as such, it's just that I read an interview with John Waters in New York Magazine so Divine has been on my mind. I don't know what to make of that.

Anyhoo... I was troubled to read about the interviewer's discovery upon a vist to Mr. Waters bathroom of " a Maybelline black eye pencil with a sharpener and a little pile of shavings" next to a jar of Crème de la Mer. It's a mustache kind of day.