Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Nuro-seez. I Haz Some.

Maybe I'm being a big giant baby, but I stayed home from work again today. This will be my third "sick" day from work since I started my job in the middle of February. I hadn't noticed before, but now it seems a bit excessive. Especially given that I'm still a temp and don't get sick pay. But what can I say? I feel like crap.

Don't worry it's not the same horrifying, pissing-blood thing that I had before. This time my neck and shoulders hurt. It had kind of been hurting all weekend, and I was doing a really good job of ignoring it and carrying on doing all my weekend chores, laundry, mopping, etc... Then yesterday morning as I turned my head to look behind me as I was backing out of the driveway to go to work, so as not to accidentally crash into the decorative boulders at the end of the driveway or run over the neighbor's dogs or errant toddlers - something bad happened to my neck.

It didn't make a cracking noise or anything but the pain was so excruciating that I screamed and sat there for a minute or two trying to remember how to breathe.

I blame this and all of the other joint and back pain that I typically experience on my fucked up ankle. Yes, those are both of my feet in the picture. I've got one adorable and normal looking foot and one constantly swollen and nasty frankenfoot. My right ankle has been fused and as a result I walk super funky which can cause all kinds of back, hip and knee weirdness.

I went to work anyway and continued on as if it were a just any old normal work day - for a robot. It hurt when I lifted my arms, it hurt when I turned my head in any direction, it hurt when I typed - it just hurt.

I did the most important things I needed to do and then took off early for home where I could arrange my bed pillows just so and swallow a muscle relaxer (or seven) and not move for awhile.

Now... here is the thing and I've written about this before; I feel like a big giant baby girl liar-head baby. Could I have gone to work today? Technically? Yes. Without a doubt. I feel a lot better than I did yesterday, but I do still hurt. I intended to go to work and even showered and put on make-up and everything. But when I started to fasten the hooks on my bra - I knew I was in trouble.

I think the reason that staying home feels wrong is because for the last 5 years or so I didn't really have a job that I could call in sick for. I was on the road. You can't call in sick from the road, so I used to suck it up and work when I was sick or in pain and I did this no matter what. The clients I was working with had been waiting (most typically) several months for me to be there. Most of them had closed their business for the day (or week) in order for me to do my thing. I would have felt terrible to have not shown up and then been sick all day in a hotel room in a strange town.

So I worked no matter what.

When I wasn't traveling I worked from home - and how do you call in sick when you are already home? On one occasion I did actually call my boss and ask her to cancel all of my appointments for the day, but mostly I just worked anyway and then whined about it later.

I think a lot of my failure to enjoy the indulgence of a sick day is due to previous corporate culture that frowned upon sick days to the point where people were boasting about coming to work while ill. In a not dissimilar fashion to what I have just done in the above paragraphs.

Now that I have a more normal type job, where I go to an office every day and I'm not star attraction (it's marvelous - my phone hardly rings at all) I think I just feel a little more free to indulge myself in a sick day or three. Plus the corporate culture is one where it is not only NOT frowned upon to take a sick day - people seem happy that you have stayed away and are not spreading your ick all over the place.

Are you still reading this piece of shit blog post whereby I try to convince myself that I'm justified in staying home from work today? Well I hope I'm happy because my neck has begun to hurt again while I've been typing this.

In conclusion, hey Me, leave me alone and stop judging me! Oh, wait!! Could you hand me the remote before you storm out? Oh, and fluff my pillow - pretty pleeese?


Tara said...

This is gonna sound a bit silly, but is your chair at work ergonomically sound?

I know what you mean about hating to call in sick, even if deep down you really should. It was good for you to call in today. Give yourself one more day to recover and then see how it goes.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Tara - my chair is probably the opposite of ergonomically sound - the temps get the crappy chairs. Everyone else has those fancy Herman Miller butterfly chairs. Grrr. Pain makes me angry.

Churlita said...

I think you were right in calling in sick. It sounds like it will get better and better, if you rest it. You don't want it to get it all angered and sore again, do you?

Gwen said...

You're not being a baby - a soft tissue neck/back injury needs rest to heal. I may be stating the obvious here, but have you considered chiropractic? Understand that I work in the legal defense industry so I have an innate distrust of most chiros, overtreat and overcharge is their motto, but a good one can really make things better.

And if that's a current picture of your ankle? Have it looked at again.

Wishing you well, sweetie!

SkylersDad said...

Temps get different chairs than the full-timers? What kind of caste system job is this? Do the temps also empty the chamber pots?

Damn I am glad I work at home now.

Oh and by the way, I am just the opposite of you. I always know I am in trouble when I start to un-fasten the hooks on a bra...

Renaissance Woman said...

I think that you were right to call in today. The pain isn't going to just get better, so you have to do a little more relaxing and maybe you should be doing a massage! Stop beating yourself up...there are enough people in the world that do that for you. Hope it gets better.

Alice said...

Jeez - what happened to your ankle?! Is there a previous post about that?

Peace sistah!

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Churlita - ahh - thank you. Exactly why I wrote this post - confirmation of my rightness.

Gwen - don't worry it's an old picture from back when I first got my cast off. It's not nearly so gross anymore.

Skydad - I have to say the chairs are the only area in which I have been treated less-than. Otherwise my workspace is terrific and they treat me just like a normal employee.
Bras are quite troublesome aren't they? ;)

Ren Woman - the therapist in you is coming out loud and clear baby and I thank you for it.

Alice - read the post I have linked underneath my blogroll called Accidents Will Happen. It tells the tale from the very beginning.

Renaissance Woman said...

Funny...I just read my post again and I am such a therapist! Ha! I actually was coming on here to tell you that I looked at the picture again and can't believe how swollen your ankle is...ouch! I'm back!

Anonymous said...

I have no qualms about taking sick days. Wake up and can't find a bra I even like? Call in sick. I'm a bad employee :)

Linka72 said...

Lady..stay at home,feel better and don't feel guilty dammit!!
I work at a company where I was once called into a small room, told that "while we certaintly care about your health...blah blah" then handed a piece of paper listing my miniscule absences for 2 full years that read in part: THIS HAS GOT TO STOP..yep, in bold, uppercase letters..(such assholes) Then they made me sign it..funny enough, they offer HUNDREDS of hours of sick time to you but you better not use it...corporate america sucks big camel ass.

Anonymous said...

ankles are nothing to mess with...all the shit can roll up hill as well...straight to the back and shoulders

stop over justifying...enjoy the day off for what it is worth

Anonymous said...

I've been guilty of working while sick...but thinking back, it was probably better to have called out.

Your body needs the rest, listen to your body and not your conscious. At least for now.

Claire said...

I hope you feel better. You'd have made it worse if you'd tried to work today.

Boldly Serving Up Wheat Grass said...

MY wife always said that, if you're going to take a sick day, it's better to take 2 or 3 in a row because then they actually beleive that you were sick.

Anonymous said...

Go see a physical therapist! It did wonders for me when I had my neck problem and couldn't move.

paperback reader said...

On the upside, if you ever need to hide weed or microfilm, you can hide it in your inflatable ankle.

My ankle's still all jacked from when a car ran over it many a year ago, so I feel a different pain I will pretend is the same as yours to make me seem empathetic. However, typing my internal monologue probably will not help me in that quest.

smilnsigh said...

Well, I saw your 'name' on a blog comment, and liked it so much, that I had to come over and say so. Me being another "Lady Who Doesn't Lunch." -grin-

I'm sorry you are having issues. And damn glad you stayed at home. What good does it do to go anyway, and hurt yourself worse????

And wow yes, I can see how your ankle issue could be causing all sorts of back, etc., issues. Ever see a chiropractor? Could they suggest some sort of shoe thing, to help with your out of whack producing walking?

Don't you just *LUV* people who bop in and comment annnnnnnnnnnnnnd leave suggestions?!? NOT! Sorry. I meant well but I'll just slink away now. :-))))

Good luck with it...

'Smilnsigh' blog

Anonymous said...

Don't sweat it! Apparently you're not acquainted with the typical teacher's list of reasons to call in sick:

- can't take the kids another day
- talking all day gets old
- need to clean the house
- What Not to Wear marathon

Seriously....teachers are the worst for abusing sick days. In my book, you were 100% justified!