I Forgot That Armed Robbery Is Against the Law

Here is a strainer full of freshly rinsed strawberries. Possibly the prettiest and most tasty strawberries in all the land. I went to the store tonight after work for romaine lettuce and coffee creamer and nearly burst into tears of joy at the sight of these berries on display.

Two for $5.

Then when I got home I opened the fruit bin of my fridge to put them away and realized that two nights ago I'd had the same tearful strawberry orgasm at another grocery store. Also 2 for $5.

So now I've got a buttload of strawberries.

I've been forgetting a lot of stuff lately. The other day I walked out the door for work and left my beautiful freshly poured travel mug full of coffee on the kitchen counter. I almost turned around and drove back to get it.

I forgot to buy ant traps and they were on the shopping list. I'm pretty sure I haven't forgotten how to read. Maybe I'm just in deep denial about the fact that our gorgeous and not just a little expensive leather love seat may be infested with ants. OK I'm exaggerating, we each separately had one little tiny ant crawling on us while we were watching TV the other night, but I've been wiggly ever since.

MDH seems to think that ant traps will do the trick, but I would like to take a more aggressive approach and cover the love seat in plastic sheeting and toss a grenade up under there. Grenades and plastic sheeting were not on my shopping list, but it doesn't matter I've gone senile and would have forgotten them anyway.

I forgot that last week I talked to Uncle Dan, who has been ailing all winter, and promised that we would come visit him and Aunt P this weekend. Damn. You cannot break promises to visit elderly aunts and uncles. They live for that shit. Maybe since they are in their 80's they will totally understand if we don't show up and I say that we forgot.

I was going to write about some other stuff, but I forgot. Since I'm not able to do any blogging at all during the work day I sometimes send myself emails to remind myself of post ideas and inspiration that I have throughout the day. Then I read them later and have no idea what the hell I was trying to tell myself. It's like I'm a character on Dr. Who getting mysterious messages from myself from another realm.

Today's message: "The copier and I are no longer on speaking terms"

I'm not sure how I planned to craft an entire post from this tidbit. Besides the copier and I have since made up and I'd prefer to put the incident behind us rather than dwell on it.

Meanwhile my life this week has been full of mostly pleasant surprises:

- An early Gevalia coffee shipment arrived this week. I had forgotten that I had increased the delivery frequency last month.

- I called to make an appointment for a haircut, thinking that I'd never be able to get in only to be told that I already had an appointment scheduled for next Thursday.

- I found two brand new spring shirts in my closet with the tags still on that I bought this past January on the clearance rack at Macy's.

It's like whattaya call it, that holiday that happens in the winter where you get presents. Yeah. It's like Christmas every day, or whatever.