Thursday, April 24, 2008

I Forgot That Armed Robbery Is Against the Law

Here is a strainer full of freshly rinsed strawberries. Possibly the prettiest and most tasty strawberries in all the land. I went to the store tonight after work for romaine lettuce and coffee creamer and nearly burst into tears of joy at the sight of these berries on display.

Two for $5.

Then when I got home I opened the fruit bin of my fridge to put them away and realized that two nights ago I'd had the same tearful strawberry orgasm at another grocery store. Also 2 for $5.

So now I've got a buttload of strawberries.

I've been forgetting a lot of stuff lately. The other day I walked out the door for work and left my beautiful freshly poured travel mug full of coffee on the kitchen counter. I almost turned around and drove back to get it.

I forgot to buy ant traps and they were on the shopping list. I'm pretty sure I haven't forgotten how to read. Maybe I'm just in deep denial about the fact that our gorgeous and not just a little expensive leather love seat may be infested with ants. OK I'm exaggerating, we each separately had one little tiny ant crawling on us while we were watching TV the other night, but I've been wiggly ever since.

MDH seems to think that ant traps will do the trick, but I would like to take a more aggressive approach and cover the love seat in plastic sheeting and toss a grenade up under there. Grenades and plastic sheeting were not on my shopping list, but it doesn't matter I've gone senile and would have forgotten them anyway.

I forgot that last week I talked to Uncle Dan, who has been ailing all winter, and promised that we would come visit him and Aunt P this weekend. Damn. You cannot break promises to visit elderly aunts and uncles. They live for that shit. Maybe since they are in their 80's they will totally understand if we don't show up and I say that we forgot.

I was going to write about some other stuff, but I forgot. Since I'm not able to do any blogging at all during the work day I sometimes send myself emails to remind myself of post ideas and inspiration that I have throughout the day. Then I read them later and have no idea what the hell I was trying to tell myself. It's like I'm a character on Dr. Who getting mysterious messages from myself from another realm.

Today's message: "The copier and I are no longer on speaking terms"

I'm not sure how I planned to craft an entire post from this tidbit. Besides the copier and I have since made up and I'd prefer to put the incident behind us rather than dwell on it.

Meanwhile my life this week has been full of mostly pleasant surprises:

- An early Gevalia coffee shipment arrived this week. I had forgotten that I had increased the delivery frequency last month.

- I called to make an appointment for a haircut, thinking that I'd never be able to get in only to be told that I already had an appointment scheduled for next Thursday.

- I found two brand new spring shirts in my closet with the tags still on that I bought this past January on the clearance rack at Macy's.

It's like whattaya call it, that holiday that happens in the winter where you get presents. Yeah. It's like Christmas every day, or whatever.


Utah Savage said...

I'll tell you all about it when I stop laughing. Where do you live? Two for $5.? How much are lemons?

I vote for ant traps. I tried the grenade and plastic. The ants survived.

Family Adventure said...

Gorgeous picture of the strawberries. I almost cried when I saw it, as I just bought a box with 7 - SEVEN - strawberries for 6 dollars. Not everything in Norway is perfect.

Good luck with that copier. She sounds temperamental.


i am playing outside said...

you're ridiculous and i love you. MMM strawberries.

evil-e said...

Partying in the 80's = forgetting in the 00's. Me too and I am a control freak. I hate forgetting stuff.

Ants while watching TV cannot be a good thing. You mentioned that and I got itchy.

Tara said...

Thank you, I have had days like this. I won't tell you how many bottles of dish soap I have in stock just by forgetting that I bought some the day before. My mom who is now 74 will tell me that I'm repeating myself because I forgot I told her something previously. Just think, if we start getting Alzeimer's now, we won't have to worry about it sneaking up on us later.

Gwen said...

I'm so glad you and the copier made up. I was afraid I was going to have to choose between you if you broke up. Don't tell her, but I was going to choose you.

r cubed said...

We have that strawberry deal too so my husband bought two cartons saying that maybe we should start eating fruit for dessert instead of ice cream. Ha ha, funny guy--we all know fruit can go ON TOP of ice cream but can never replace it. I'm so sure.

Also, my husband and I often make up to 5 trips to the grocery store in one day just to pick up stuff we forgot. Can't our generation blame it on all the lead paint we chewed on as kids?

CDP said...

I came to terms with my own early senility years ago.

Leonesse said...

I love strawberries. I haven't been able to find any with flavor yet. Maybe the copier would like some to make up for the disagreement?

Anonymous said...

Very funny....em...who are you again?

Churlita said...

I've always been spacey like that. So, I may not even realize it when I get Alzheimer's. So, what're you gonna do with all those strawberries?

WendyB said...

Our hotel room in Paris had an ant infestation. Yuck!

~*SilverNeurotic*~ said...

I keep forgetting to call my doctor's office to get a medication issue solved. This has been going on for about two weeks with forgetting. Now I'm embarrassed to call.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Utah - welcome to my blog! 2 quarts or something like that for $5 - smarty pants. I suppose you are right, ant traps it is. Scotchguard probably doesn't stand up very well to high explosives.

Heidi - It's berry season so the supermarkets here are brimming with them and the displays all have shortcake. You'll be back soon to get your share of the berries at a reasonable price. You can dip them in chocolate.

Player - I feel your love and send some back your way you sweet thing.

Evil - I've just been very preoccupied and my job has shifted into high gear this week so I've been very focused on other stuff. Although I won't rule out the acid.

Tara - I can't even bring myself to say the "A" word - that's like my worst fear.

Gwen - you have to work at relationships, but it's good to know I'd have a partner to gang up with.

R-cubed - I'll go as far as frozen yogurt with strawberries on top, but I'm actually a very very good girl diet wise and the sweetest thing on my berries (sounds naughty) is fresh pinapple juice with no sugar added.

CDP - I admire this admission greatly.

Leonesse - they could probably be better, but I let them ripen a little bit more and then give a swirl of pineapple juice as mentioned above.

Suze - what? what? I can't hear you, I'm going deaf too.

Churlita - I've cored them and plan to enjoy them au natural. I'm eating them like popcorn.

WendyB - that totally sucks - yet I can't help but imagine little tiny berets and ants carrying off baguettes and eclairs.

Silver - so you're senile AND silly? Get your meds crazy pants! Who cares what they think.

Anonymous said...

Well I for one thought that was a great post made up of 'nothings' always entertain me.

And when you can remember, please explain why you and the copier are no longer friends. :)

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Heya Kate! I'm glad you liked my post about absolutely nothing. I will attempt a short post to examine the strange relationship I have with the copier.

pistols at dawn said...

It's not that you're forgetful, it's that that crap's unimportant.