Sunday, September 9, 2007

My iPod Has A Puss On

I remember seeing a poll in some women's magazine a few years back. It was something like if there were no electricity what would you be the most stressed about living without. iPods came in a very close second to the Internet followed by cell phones. Refrigeration and air conditioning lost out to iPods and cell phones. Hmm. Now that I've written that out it sounds wrong. I mean the article was a long time ago and I could be remembering it incorrectly. It's also possible that I imagined the whole thing. Well real or imaginary poll aside, although I wouldn't choose the internet over refrigeration I might have to do a coin toss for my ipod and all it's nifty accessories.

MDH got me my iPod two birthdays ago. I wasn't exactly thrilled and didn't see how I'd use it. I had a perfectly good CD player in my car and we have a 200 disk CD changer in the den. What would I do with an iPod? In the span of a year I was won over. I even ended up putting a cap on my iTunes account so that I can't spend more than $50 per month on song downloads. Last year for my birthday when he bought me a Bose docking station and new headphones I squealed like a hog and leaped for joy. At first I thought iPods were a total waste of money and disk space. A year later just like the people in the (possibly fictional) poll, I didn't see how I could live without it.

A few weeks after I recieved the iPod, Apple came out with the video model that you can watch movies and tv shows on. This summer they've come out with the iPhone. That's all fine, but I still love my iPod. I'm a loyalist and don't need all those bells and whistles anyway. Too complicated.

Yesterday my iPod stopped working. I took it out of the Bose cradle and listened to it with headphones for 40 minutes while I worked out and it was 100% fine. Then when I put it back in the Bose dock it looked like this:

It's called "sad ipod" and it ain't good. My iPod has a puss on.

I went to Apple's iPod support website and tearfully followed every instruction for every scenerio and nothing was working and finally the auto responder said I should contact my local "genius counter". Apparently that's what they call tech support in the apple store. I made an appointment, although I intensely dislike the term "genius counter". It sets the bar pretty high but I decided to buck up and keep an open mind. You know I'm messed up over this because MDH agreed to go with me and not only does he hate the mall like poison, it's also the first Sunday of the year where pro football is on all day AND the Patriots are playing.

Here's how I pictured it would go:
I arrive and they are waiting for me. A young boy with a curly hipster hairstyle and those big giant earring stumps named Ian or Elliot smiles kindly at me and gently takes my iPod. He installs a new battery and then gently hands the iPod back to me as good as new. He feels bad that I have been upset over something so silly and throws in a new iPod case at no charge. My iPod works fine and MDH and I stop for a steak lunch on our way home. MDH does not complain once about being in the mall.

Here's how it actually went:
Before we left the house MDH complained that all the apple stores seem to be located in malls. We arrived 20 minutes early to the mall and I stopped on our way to the apple store to touch a pair of plaid mary-jane flats on display at a shoe store. MDH started to moan and pitch a fit about being in the mall. I removed my index finger from the shoe and we pressed on. When we arrived at the apple store and I met my "genius" named Elliot, a young boy with curly hipster hair but no earrings or smile of any kind. He would not look me in the eye. When it was my turn he asked me "so, what's up?" like I was there for a casual chat to catch up on good times. I told him about the sad iPod and he said, without looking at me or my iPod, "Oh, that's really bad". Not very reassuring, genius. When I put my iPod on the counter he barely looked up from his computer monitor and said, "thats an HP iPod we don't service those". Tears started to well up in my eyes and I'm not sure what happened after that. I'm fairly certain that MDH took over but didn't get very far. The next thing I knew we were walking to Bar Louie for our steak lunch and he is beating his chest about bad customer service while composing an angry letter to Steve Jobs out loud. Bar Louie doesn't have steak on the menu. I was too upset to leave and go somewhere else. I had a chicken sandwich and an enormous mojito.

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