Chuck A What?

Michigan is just simply a terrible place to be unemployed. The job market here is skimpy, especially for someone with my very obscure specialty. I've given up all hope of finding anything remotely similar to the work that I am supremely qualified for here.

In order to adapt to my environment I've expanded my horizons and have been applying to all kinds of jobs. Mainly things of an Analyst persuasion, things that don't involve any travel, and also some Office Manager, Admin Assistant stuff just so I feel like I've applied for something. I even created a special resume that highlights my old Office Manager job experience from before I had my degree.

The thing about finding jobs these days is that it mostly seems to take place online. The search, the application, the cover letter, the emailed auto-response. When I apply for something online I immediately check my email to make sure that I get that auto response. Otherwise I have no way of knowing whether or not, well anything. You send out all this personal information about yourself into the ether and then get nothing back but an impersonal blurb, a very reassuring impersonal blurb, if you are lucky and the places you apply have any manners what-so-ever.

The following is an auto response email that sets my ass to chapping each time I get it, which is each time I apply for administrative assistant jobs with a certain employment agency I've created an account with:

"We found your resume online and would be interested in speaking with you further regarding your qualifications and experience."

I read this first sentence of the message and even though it's from the employment agency about a job that I probably don't want, I say to myself, "Yeah!! Finally, somebody noticed me!"

Then I read the next sentence and I want to chuck a turd through their window.

"If you are within the (local) area you will be considered for opportunities as they arise, however at the current time the job market is not bearing your skill set."

This message by the way is usually received 2 or 3 days after I applied to the posting and have already gotten the auto-response telling me they have received my application successfully.

So which is it assholes? Do you want to speak with me or are you telling me to take a hike? I can take rejection. Really, I can. But don't get my hopes all up about your shitty* job and then make me disappointed a few words later that I'm not suitable for it.

I sent them an email back about it (seriously, I did and this is real):

Hello Employment Agency,
I'm a bit confused by this email. I get it every time I apply for a job on your website. It says two very different things. First that you would be interested in speaking with me further, and then that there's nothing for me. The first sentence gets my hopes up then in the next breath I'm all bummed out. So which is it? Are you interested in speaking with me or not?
Thanks for reading this!

The Lady

and this was their response:

Dear Lady,
The response you received was not an auto-response. It came from one of our staffing managers, who after reviewing your resume had determined that your current skill set was not what we were looking for at that time. Although, it may have been interesting to us, it just wasn't what we were looking for at that particular time.
I do hope this helps explain things.
Thanks,
Employment Agency

Initially this exchange made me feel pretty smug, but over time has only fueled the paranoia described in the post below.

*I was a receptionist, office manger, secretary, admin assistant for many, many years, so am in no way saying those types of jobs are shitty. They certainly are not. I'm merely saying that having to apply for all over again, a job you previously performed full time while studying your ass off nights and weekends for 6 years to get out of doing, is shitty.