Friday, May 30, 2008

Not a Fan

I cannot tell you how fucking sick and tired I am of the NBA play offs. I'm sorry to drop an f-bomb on you in the first sentence of my post, but I'm pretty sure that the Boston Celtics have been playing the Detroit Pistons every weeknight for about 6 months straight and I. Have. Had. Enough. Of. This.

Unfortunately for us both, the love of my life is a crazed Boston sports fan, whilst I on the other hand, couldn't possibly give less of a shit about sports. He doesn't paint himself up or dress in a Leprechaun outfit or anything (although that would be pretty amusing given that he is a giant swarthy, Portuguese guy), but you can bet he does everything in his power to make sure he never misses a game. There are serious problems under this roof when there is overlapping like the kind we are experiencing these days when basketball season runs into baseball season and the Celtics are playing at the same time as the Red Sox.

For me the Celtics being in the playoffs this year is kind of like that movie Groundhog Day. The one where Bill Murray wakes up every morning and relives the same day over and over and over again. This is very similar to my experience lately of coming home every single night of the goddamn week and seeing the Celtics and the Pistons on my television.

We couldn't even escape them on our vacation. We flew out of Detroit to save about $400 on our airfare and drove up and stayed at a hotel near the airport the night before our flight to Orlando. I left the room for like a second to go to the bathroom and when I came out the fucking Celtics were playing the fucking Pistons. They haunt me.

You can imagine I'm sure my reaction then when last week MDH was able to score two tickets to tonight's installment of the never ending Celtics V Pistons game in Detroit. The man actually expected that I might go with him to the game. What a silly!

It was all I could do to restrain myself and decline politely. I begged sweetly off with the excuse that I needed to do our post vacation laundry and didn't want to drive to Detroit after a long work week, rather than scream at him that I as far as I was concerned the Pistons and the Celtics could all die in a fire.

Of course that's a bit harsh. I really don't wish that on anyone. I merely want them to lose interest, as I and any other reasonable person have done, and stop playing. Take a fucking break guys.

I have really been looking forward to having this time to myself. Funnily enough since MDH was going to watch the game in person I had planned to spend a completely basketball free evening and behold what my typing fingers have produced.

Anyhoo... since I'm obviously in the mood I will share with you some other things that I am also not a fan of:

1. The woman at the post office drive up mail box who sat in her car obliviously putting stamps on all of her envelopes while a long line of cars piled up behind her.

2. She is probably married to the guy at the drive up bank teller who waits until he is at the thingy to sign his check. I hate him too.

3. My neighbors whose cat I always used to see roaming around the neighborhood and twice caught shitting in my window box who have now been passing out fliers to help them find their missing cat. Oh boo-hoo. If you were really that worried about the welfare of your cat you wouldn't let him run around outside in the first place. I'm sure he probably shat in the wrong window box. (I realize there are those who would argue that it is more natural for cats to roam around free outside, but the risk you take is that there is a 100% chance that some shit will happen to them; hit by car, virus, animal attacks, fleas, ticks, you name it. Inside cats have more than triple the life expectancy of outdoor cats. That's a fact Jack.)

4. Returning from our vacation and realizing that before we left, in an effort to save energy, my darling had unplugged all of the power strips in the house, including the one that our cable box is plugged into. Hence none of the shows I had set to record on the DVR did so. Shows that included the season finale to Grey's Anatomy. Mother fuck.

In other more cuddly and happy cat news - I found this baby picture the other day of our cat Turtle. It's his picture from our vets adoption website. He weighs almost 17 lbs now and looks like a freaking mountain lion.

UPDATE: 1:09AM - I wrestled with the imagery of the words "die in a fire" and decided to go with it because for some reason it seemed funny to me. Upon further reflection I realized that there was no way possible that someone as timid and sweet natured as me could have come up with that all by myself and then remembered a post from several months ago that I am going to blame for this violent inspiration. The Guv'ner makes everything seem funny.


evil-e said...

I am sick of Boston sports teams. I hate the Celtics (I don't even like the NBA). I hate the Patriots almost as much as I hate the Browns (Steelers fan) and I am so freaking sick of the Red Sox and their "Red Sox nation" crap.

Other wise, what's new? How are you?

Suze's Sass said...

I too am not a fan of:

holding up the post office drop off line; neighbor's free-roaming/pooping cats and sports at this time of year.

Alice said...

I'm glad my husband isn't into all the sports. On the other hand, he isn't into fixing things around the house either. Guess it was a package deal.

Chris said...

Hi Lady! Golly, Turtle and our Fruitloop could have been from the same litter by the looks of it! Almost identical at the kitten stage, anyway, and Fruitloop topped out at just over 17 pounds. He's lost weight now. You read about it. We get to get him back from the vet today! Yay!

SkylersDad said...

Basketball died in the late 80's after it turned into playground ball.

The NBA sucks ass now.

People in lines at the ATM trying to figure out how to apply for a home loan suck ass too.

I am with you Lady!!

Gwen said...

I laughed so loud and obnoxiously when I opened this post and saw the first picture that I scared my cats. That is precious!

I loathe sports. I can occasionally sit through a baseball game, but never on TV. I've got a friend who comes over here and hides from her husband during college basketball season because of his obsession with Indiana.

Turtle is a cutie! And yes, cats should be indoor pets.

Gwen said...

Also, you can see the full episode of the Grey's finale on I've had to Lost episodes that Tivo missed on there and they do a nice job - there is almost no skipping.

Linka72 said...

I thought the "die in a fire" comment was the funniest part..I actually laughed so loud at work that people started to stare..but I'm weird though.
My husband doesn't know that I exist when the fucking playoffs are on...

BeckEye said...

That pic of the kid shooting the finger never gets old. I laugh every time I see it.

I hate basketball in general. It's the one sport that never seems to end. If it's not NBA, it's College baskteball. I swear it's on in some shape or form all year long.

Leonesse said...

After numerous cat poop and spray incidents I now let our dog out every time I see the bastard. When the owners moved out, they had to delay their trip by a day due to a cat spraying all of the stuff they had set out to pack into the truck.

Keep your cat indoors and I won't let my dog out at them.

Purple Pigeon said...

Indoor cats live three times longer than outdoor cats? Christ-a-lumux, tell that to my robust 13 year old cat that roams about so freely that he feels the need to bring the outdoors back inside with him in the form of mud, leaves, burrs and the occasional dead creature. If we had kept him indoors, he would live til he's 39? Crikey ;)

Renaissance Woman said...

Okay, let me start of by standing and applauding! I don't like basketball and feel like the season never ends. My ex was a huge I guess there is a plus. No more basketball in this house.

I also want to scream at that person in line at the bank who is searching for a pen, checkbook and trying to figure what they want to deposit once they finally pull up to the window!

Tara said...

Aww, they look so innocent when they're kittens, don't they? So cute.

sparsely kate said...

I guess the one good thing about nevin was that he wasn't into sports. My father-in-law was/is though - english soccer mainly. he had his own room and mini tv set up in another part of the house and he spent hours in there , sometimes staying all night to watch finals.
I know that my mother-in-law found it intolerable and so he had to find his own quiet hovel. hahaha.

god love men and their sports channel.

dmarks said...

I don't like the #2's either. The old ladies in the grocery checkout line who wait to START to get their check books out once they are perfectly situationed in front of the little check board.

CDP said...

The NBA playoffs have been going on since the frickin' dawn of time, and they will conclude on the day of the Apocalypse.

Churlita said...

I try to drop the F bomb in the first sentence of every post...But you've read my blog, so you probably already know that. Although, a flipped bird AND the F bomb is totally putting me to shame.

pistols at dawn said...

As a former Bostonian, I would like to note that the Celts haven't been playing this late in the season for many a year. You should be thankful for all the years their seasons ended shamefully early, not mad at the one when it didn't.

Family Adventure said...

Everything you just said about the NBA I could say about the NHL. Ugh, ugh, ugh. Fortunately, we have TVs on different floors in our house. Otherwise, it would be even uglier.


Del-V said...

I'm an Orioles fan. I hate the Red Sox and the Yankees.

Really, I hate everyone.

Well, except for the Orioles. I think I said that.

Johnny Yen said...

#'s 1 and 2 are related to the person in the line to get on the el here in Chicago who gets up to turnstile and suddenly realizes that yes, you do have to pay to get on and starts getting out their fare card.

Closely followed by the people in front of me at the grocery store who have never used the "self-checkout."

catherinette said...

I hate the NBA with a fiery passion. Stupid freaking basketball. Nothing makes me want to slip into a coma like turning on the TV and seeing that the stupid playoffs are still on.

Leah said...

I so love your hubby but I am not sure how you put up with the sports . . . and from time to time the politics and I am all about politics. ;-) One thing I am so happy about with my partner, no sports! I did share this post with my friend who is a big Boston sports fan however.

minijonb said...

That kid has a nice soccer jersey on... oh, I guess you really don't care, do you?

= : - )