Thursday, June 5, 2008

The Break Up

My job is getting very intense these days. The projects I'm currently working on include three new product launches this month which require a great deal of my time and attention. Mostly I'm nagging the crap out of people via voice mail, email and occasionally, because I'm a huge proponent of building personal relationships as a management strategy, storming over to the other side of the building in a huff to blow a tirade* in the faces of some of my ne'er do well project team mates in person.

I suppose I should edit my capacity planning chart to factor in all the time it takes me to bitch about how much of my time the other people on my project teams are wasting.

These are exciting times for me as I rarely get to do anything in a huff and I am after all, a people person.

Meanwhile I have not only been woefully neglecting my blog this week I also forgot to write my post on Burt Reynolds Mustache. I'm so ashamed.

Sometimes a gal simply must choose between career and guest blogging and I think you know the path I had to go. Yes. That's right. The one that pays for all my shoes and make-up. I'm busy making the world safe for data management. I think this decision will be the best thing for all involved.

*There are no tirades, I'm far too polite and ladylike to ever really do that. But in my imagination I'm ripping everyone a new one.


doorknob_dan said...

In the amount of time it took you to write this entry, you could have totally pimped up a sweet bit o' prose for Burt Reynold's Furry Lip.

I'm not judging though, I'm just jealous when someone gets to chew someone else a new asshole. Mind you, it was in your imagination, so the glory would also be imaginary, but whatever.

evil-e said...

I have been at my job about as long as you have tirades for me. This is the calmest, quietest, and biggest place I have ever worked and I am loving it. My responsibilities are increasing and my blood pressure has not moved at all.

Linka72 said...

Breakups are hard...hopefully BRM won't sit outside your house and cry at night or key your car and slash your tires..or sleep with your girlfriends..and videotape it..whoa, this is bringing back sooomany memories..but anywhooo!! Good luck on your projects!!

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Doorknob - It still would have been a day late - as my day on BRM is the 4th. Anyways the apology email cum resignation that I was sending to Pistols ended up being what I posted over there anyway...

Evil - I really like my job too, and the people in my department are fantastic, but I often have to deal with many other departments who are not so fantastic. Sometimes the nature of what I'm doing requires me to dig in my heels and get a little aggressive via stern emails and direct speaking. I'm forced to hunt people down and ask them why things are taking so long and when I can expect some results. In short it's nagging. I try to be friendly and personable while I'm nagging and so far it appears to be working.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Doorknob - I certainly apologize for gratuitous use of the word anyway and now the possible misspelling of the word gratuitous.

i am playing outside said...

im too tired from work and writing my own short blog post to make a good comment. but i love you!

Suze's Sass said...

Oh I love storming in people's offices and huffing and puffing. Usually they have security throw me out of the building - so I imagine I should stick to my own work building. Whatever.

WendyB said...

I don't understand your priorities.Your livelihood comes before guest-blogging? What kind of crazy talk is this?

Leonesse said...

I'm with wendyb. I mean, c'mon, priorities. I still throw up crap every now and again, even if I am a) retarded; b) busy as hell; and c) planning my escape from Hootersville.

p.s. don't leave Gifts or we will hunt you down and duct tape you to the keyboard.

Alice said...

I do a lot of ripping in my imagination also. Fun world up there. Maybe one day I'll work up the courage to rip to someone's face.

Tara said...

Oh in my imagination I go on tirades at least once a week.

CDP said...

I once wrote a post about what I said aloud versus what I said in my mind...there's nothing more cathartic than a good imaginary tirade.

SkylersDad said...

Most of my imaginary tirades are about my wife. I have the good sense to keep them in my head though...

Gwen said...

I will sleep easier knowing that you are making the world safe for data management. Thank you for your courage, citizen.

Tom Quinn. said...

I'm also a lot bolder in my mind than I am in person. But, I'm practicing in the mirror and have gotten to the point where I can give myself a very stern talking to, and can even make myself feel pretty guilty, and wonder what it was I did to tick myself off so bad. Man, I hope I forgive myself soon. I hate the thought of me being mad at me. I mean, I'm my best friend.

sparsely kate said...

"But in my imagination I'm ripping everybody a new one"

Oh for joy! That was so funny.

The more I read about working and joining the employment line, the more I think staying home and reading books sounds quite lovely.
And yet...I need shoes, make up and food to live. Damn!

Hope life slows down for you a little in no time at all.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Linka - sorry, I totally didn't see you there! You snuck in! Yes, I can only hope that breaking up with a blog doesn't cause me to have to change my phone number, email or take out a restraining order.

Player - you are a darling and I love you too!

Suze - I am always storming over and then by the time I arrive I'm either totally wiped out and unable to maintain maximum aggression or have forgotten why the hell I went over there in the first place. Then of course there are the times I do all that storming across the building only to find the person is not there.

Wendy - I know, the next thing you know I'll be putting my husband first. It's a slippery slope.

Leo - it's a combo of being busy and also there's just something about having a deadline that was causing me to panic irrationally every time my turn to post on the Stache came 'round. For some reason a deadline causes me to go completely blank blogpost-idea-wise.

I enjoy writing on THIS blog and getting all of the comments far too much to be giving it up any time soon.

Alice - In my imagination I am so very cutting and witty. In real life I'm a grinning fool who is nice to everyone. The only time I'm really aggressive out loud is in the privacy of my car.

Tara - really, one simply has to do this in order not to go completely nuts.

CDP - I remember your post as I could totally relate after having worked in retail many years myself. I also will tell my friends in conversations about my tirades and they'll say "did you REALLY say that??" and I reply, "No, but I really wanted to!"

I don't think very quickly on my feet orally so most of the time I don't think of the clever tirades until after the moment has passed.

Skydad - I've said it before and it should be noted again - you are a wise man (with a lucky wife).

Gwen - I'm always thinking of others in this way and you are quite welcome.

TQ - welcome to my blog your comment reminds me of this:
Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.
- Woody Allen

SKate - Hey girl! Always thrilled to make you laugh and really am only returning the favor.

As a person who was working from the age of 13 I was not, beyond starting to write on this blog, more miserable in my life than the 8 months I spent unemployed. If you can afford not to work and do not rely upon a career to mold your identity then keep reading those books.

Renaissance Woman said...

I'm so glad that you decided to choose the one that buys the shoes. I'll be looking for a size 5 in the mail any time now.

disa said...

I love it ! Very creative ! That's actually really cool Thanks.