Monday, March 24, 2008

Artsy Fartsy Wet Burrito

Hey. I mean good morning. I mean, you will get a good feel for what kind of day I'm having by looking at the time this post was created. Yeah. Fuckin' early.

I adore my husband in so many ways, but the snoring, oh god, the snoring.

It's lovely to wake up being spooned, but not when his mouth is centimeters from my ear and he's assaulting my senses with morning breath and loud blubbery jackhammer snorts. Right in my goddamn ear. Actually a jackhammer might be soothing compared to this noise. Anyhoo... I opted to get up and shower rather than jam my pillow up his nostrils. I'm up and showered at 4am. Almost perky too. Kinda scary.

My intention this morning is not to tell you about my marital problems, but to give you a recap of the two lovely days we spent with Frenchie and Nature Boy who drove all the way up here to visit us. I was sceptical about their timing, as March is an iffy month weatherwise in the Tundra. One moment it's clear blue skies and 50 degrees and the next you know you could be in the midst of a winter storm advisory getting 8 inches of snow dumped on your head - and that is exactly what happened.

When they arrived late Thursday afternoon it was clear and beautiful. I put out a spread, we drank some wine and it was still light out and we were still sober enough to go for a drive and show our friends some of what the Tundra has to offer. I complain about it a lot, but there are some cool things here.

The nature of Nature Boy being nature, we took them downtown to see our fishladder. There weren't any fish, but there were lots of fishermen. I would say fisherpeople so as not to be sexist, but there were no women fishing as we are way too smart to wear rubber pants and stand around for hours in freezing water. Besides, I can get all the salmon I want at the supermarket.

Anyway, between the glorious weather, the wine, the food and the wonderful company of Frenchie and Nature Boy, I would call the evening a great success.

The next day however started off with a whimper as Frenchie and Nature Boy contemplated leaving early due to reports of impending doom in the form of lots and lots of snow headed our way and affecting their exact route home. They decided to stay, much to my delight without any coaxing or begging on my part, and tough it out.

In addition to being a lover of nature, Nature Boy is also a lover of art so when he happened to notice the nickname of our town "Calder City" and we explained the city's connection* to the sculptor Alexander Calder and he mentioned that Calder happens to be one of his favorite artists the die was cast and we took them to a pretty amazing sculpture garden near our house that I declared was "lousy with Calder's". So that is where we spent most of our afternoon on Friday.

Our time at the sculpture garden was the most time that I have spent outside in the cold in the 4 years we have lived here combined. I'm being totally serious. I don't go outside when it's cold and/or snowing unless I absolutely have to. My ass was frozen but I have no regrets.

Before I start posting the photos, I should tell you the running joke of the visit was based upon an unfortunately named restaurant that we drove by during our brief jaunt thru the town of Rockford called Jodi's Wet Burrito.

My reading the restaurant's sign out loud caused Frenchie and Nature Boy to laugh for about half an hour and all the rest of the day, you only had to mention Jodi's Wet Burrito in passing with vague and sometimes not so vague references to girl parts to make us all bust out all over again.

Anyhoo... here are some pictures:

Nature Boy and a sculpture that IS a Calder.

Nature Boy and MDH contemplate another sculpture that is also not a Calder.

New unfinished installation - no artist's name attached and no title so I'm calling it "The Freaking Bunny People". I'm pretty sure it is also not a Calder.

This one either lost a contact or is about to throw up.

Nature Boy seemed pretty excited by this work. He correctly named the artist from far away, as Andy Goldsworthy.

MDH and Frenchie huddle together, slightly less impressed with the Goldsworthy than Nature Boy.

This one is by an artist whose name I don't remember. The title was something along the lines of "Lady Holding a Bird", but c'mon it's a smiley face...

Oh yes, the photo at the top is a bronze of Rodin's Eve. She looks cold doesn't she?

*I can find no evidence that the city actually has a connection to Calder, other than that it has a few of his sculptures peppered around here and there in public places. We do however have an abundance of places to purchase wet burritos**.
**Appears to be a regular burrito with enchilada sauce poured over it. I've never seen these anywhere but Michigan and as I've mentioned in previous posts - I've been everywhere man.


Tara said...

My parents used to have a sort of tag-team snore-a-thon when we'd go on vacation and stay in the same hotel room. It wasn't so bad when we were at home and in our own rooms, but sharing a room? Sheesh. Forgettaboutit.

Interesting sculptures, I like that first one with Nature Boy. The sculpture look like ballerinas.

I once saw a restaurant that was titled "The Green Burrito", but it wasn't nearly as funny after hearing about Jodi's Wet Burrito.

Churlita said...

I used to work at a place that served those burritos. We just called them "enchilada style" burritos, which isn't anywhere near as funny.

Anonymous said...

I do like the Goldsworthy sculpture best. P and I are planning on having our engagement pics done at our local sculpture garden.

You are a braver gal than I being outside for 4 hours in the cold. We were going to look at open houses but I didn't want to get out of the car so we drove by them instead.

pistols at dawn said...

I don't like Calder at all, but that park looks like fun.

Also, laughed aloud at "Wet Burrito." Still funny.

evil-e said...

Me and Renee both snore. I think she snores more than me. I have learned to just try and breathe along with her snoring I hopes that I drown her works.

That statue of the "bunny person" looks like it is going to take a poop. (great word isn't it?)

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Tara - Green burritos are amazing - I used to get them at Del Taco on the west coast - refried beans, diced green chilies and cheese = awesome.

Churlita - maybe it's not as funny, but "enchilada style" sounds a lot more appealing.

SRU - It was so cold my face got all ruddy and chapped. I put blistex all over it to get it back to normal.

Pistols - yeah! I love it that you LOL'd. Hee.
They make a big deal about the Calder's here which naturally makes me inclined to be disinterested in them. They're big, they're orange. Big deal.

Evil - I snore too, but I do not press my snout up to MDH's ear when he's sleeping, so my snoring doesn't seem to bother him. His snoring all to often occurs right up in my face and wakes me up.
The only solution I can forsee is to just go ahead and get up or smother him.

Nature Boy said...

I love your writing! I enjoyed reading again about our weekend, but I should tell you that the black sculpture IS a Calder.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Nature Boy - Hi Baby! I'm glad you like my writing and I like the way YOU turn and glaze a pot, Sir.

I stand corrected and I will fix my Calder error immediately!