I'm a terribly independent person and typically like to try to take care of things or figure stuff out on my own. Sometimes though I need a little help and it is difficult for me to ask for it.Combine that with the fact that I'm also very literal and prone to dispense corny humor, responding to my question, can you help me?, with what can I do ya for?, it is all I can do to remain professional and not pretend to whip out an adding machine and start mumbling, let's see here... I'll give you the employee discount, but you are remarkably unattractive and that's gonna cost ya...carry the nine...factor in the rash... halitosis upcharge... that'll be... and then come up with a price that you can do me for and hilarity will ensue.
More likely I think I'd get a blank stare, talked about in the break room behind my back and loss of all hope of ever attaining permanent employment with this company. So yeah, I'm basically restraining myself from pretending to be some mutant type of nerdy hooker.
(I'd never really thought much about it before writing this post but should the word "hooker" be capitalized? It's a job title, right?)
10 comments:
hooker. ha ha. J and I saw a hooker on the island at 2am one night after his gig. I called her a street walker. He laughed and goes "you called her a street walker, that's a damn HOOKER!" sorry, I went off.
My co-workers know me pretty good now, but every now and then I still cross the line with them in regards to my, shall we call it "tweaked" sense of humor.
I'm still laughing at that picture! HAHAHAHAHAHA.
It took me forever to stop saying 'fuck you're ugly!' to random employees walking past. Now, because I've learned, I substitute with 'wow you're ugly'.
Oh. my. god.: "I'll give you the employee discount, but you are remarkably unattractive and that's gonna cost ya...carry the nine...factor in the rash... halitosis upcharge... that'll be..."
FAN-tastic. I'm totally stealing that. Is that ok?
Hookers deserve respect too. *bursts into a song of some sort*
That was hilarious. I really HATE "what can I do ya for?" and now will want desperately to respond this way the next time I hear it.
I get away with a lot, because people I work with all assume I'm kidding. I can say whatever want and be completely serious and they all laugh. It's awesome.
It must be law that every office must be comprised of at least 88% humorless people.
I too sometimes have to bite my tongue to keep quiet at work. Sometimes when I say something that I think is really witty, I can actually hear birds chirp during the long silence. Damn un-funny co-workers.
Post a Comment