Showing posts with label things mulled over in graphic detail but never acted upon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label things mulled over in graphic detail but never acted upon. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

How to upset pefectly innocent and well meaning coworkers

I'm a terribly independent person and typically like to try to take care of things or figure stuff out on my own. Sometimes though I need a little help and it is difficult for me to ask for it.

Combine that with the fact that I'm also very literal and prone to dispense corny humor, responding to my question, can you help me?, with what can I do ya for?, it is all I can do to remain professional and not pretend to whip out an adding machine and start mumbling, let's see here... I'll give you the employee discount, but you are remarkably unattractive and that's gonna cost ya...carry the nine...factor in the rash... halitosis upcharge... that'll be... and then come up with a price that you can do me for and hilarity will ensue.

More likely I think I'd get a blank stare, talked about in the break room behind my back and loss of all hope of ever attaining permanent employment with this company. So yeah, I'm basically restraining myself from pretending to be some mutant type of nerdy hooker.

(I'd never really thought much about it before writing this post but should the word "hooker" be capitalized? It's a job title, right?)