Thursday, January 8, 2009

She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B

Updates, Apologies, Corrections, and a Confession, In No Particular Order

What a morning. Drama-O-Rama.

I would like to take a moment to thank you for all of your kind words and disturbing, yet somehow uplifting, suggestions for violence to be wielded upon the dastardly villains who didn't see fit to hire me. You have all helped me cope with my most recent bummer. Also, as indicated in the title I want inform you of updates, corrections, apologies and a confession having to do with events in my life that have occurred in the past 24 hours or so.

8:25am - The Correction
When I arrived at the office this morning, tear swollen and red rimmed from last night's crying jag, I found a new appointment in my schedule for a short meeting with the co-managers who had interviewed me for the job I wanted and did not get.

The appointment was titled "Hiring Decision" and was set to occur in 20 minutes. I barely had time to remove my snow boots and the furrow from my brow, get coffee or practice thinking about the whole situation without crying.

8:45am - Apology #1
They were shocked to discover that I already knew I didn't get the job because, as it turns out, HR sent me the robo-rejection by mistake and they had intended all along to let me down in person. They were very sorry for the robo-rejection.

9:15am - The Confession
As the meeting was wrapping up we were all smiles and sunshine. Then one of the co-managers insisted on giving me a hug. Under normal circumstances this would have been fine. I'm all about the hugging. I like hugs for the most part and under the right circumstances I find them perfectly acceptable at work and I think that our meeting totally qualified as the right circumstances.


Due to serious downward mood swing caused by the previous evenings robo-rejection, I didn't pay as close attention to my wardrobe selection this morning as I might normally. I chose a pair of slightly too loose corduroy pants paired with a slightly too short sweater, thus causing a theater curtain sized portion of my flabby be-stretch-marked midsection to be exposed to daylight during the hug. I have since learned that stretch marks have nerve endings that are extremely sensitive to air and daylight because I swear to god I felt physical pain.

9:30 am - You're Killing Me
I had just started to recover from meeting and the whole exposed midsection incident and get back to work when I looked up and saw the sweet, kindly co-worker I bitched about yesterday. The one who keeps asking me if I've heard anything about the job. She had that look on her face. I knew what was coming so I cut her off at the pass. People, I didn't even take off my headphones or give her enough time to speak. I just looked her square in the eye and sharply said, "No!" As if I was correcting a bad dog.

And then I pointed down the hall as if to say keep walking.

9:50 am - Apology #2
I received a phone call from HR with a formal apology. I was in no mood to answer the phone and accept the apology graciously or in person, so I let the pathetic HR dude leave a grovelling voice mail. Also this way I get to listen to it over and over again and that can be very satisfying. That's right HR dude. Bow and cower in my presence.

10:15 am - Unfucking Believable
I checked my gmail only to discover that I had received yet again the exact same robo-rejection from HR that was apologized for not 30 minutes ago. Yes. The asshole apologized and then RE-SENT it.

Update - Yippee! I'm Number Two
Here's the poop: It was down to me and one other person who happened to be an internal candidate. They hired someone internally. No surprise there. It is very difficult to get a job here. They almost always hire internally. They have since changed the rules and you can only contract here for a year and a half before you get shit canned, but I know people that were contractors for as long as 6 years before getting hired. So my beef was not so much that I didn't get the job. No. My beef was the robo-rejection. Today they gave me my love, so I'm feeling much better.

Apology #3
I am sorry I called my co-worker friend a Twat in my post yesterday. She doesn't read my blog, but still.


SkylersDad said...

I hope the HR dude gets some sort of flesh-eating virus of his ball sack.

How did kindly co-worker handle being "kenneled"?

Gwen said...

Twat? I totally didn't see that word used. What does that say about me? Either my reading comprehension sucks or the word twat just really doesn't phase me anymore.

I'm glad to hear they wanted to do it right but that HR guy is a bit of a douche.

Michelle said...

That's okay, I'LL call her a twat, too, cause she does kind of sound like one. As for HR guy...AARRGGHHHH! What a tool.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Skydad - she knew she was a bad dog and skulked away with no fuss. We hugged it out later. She has no idea I called her a twat.

Gwen - Actually I fantasized about calling her a "nosy twat" - which is almost the same thing in blog land.

The HR guy can suck my dick.

Michelle - she is a lovely person, but she was getting on my last nerve. She has grown children and attends bible study on her lunch hour every Wednesday. I wouldn't be surprised if she'd never even heard the word "twat" before, which all makes it that much funnier.

WendyB said...

Oh, man, I have had days like that. I empathize.

CDP said...

I'm sorry this didn't work out, that really sucks. As does that HR guy.

i am playing outside said...

im already super outraged that our bus drivers have been on strike a month and today voted to continus striking, so im in a violent mood. need me to do anything for you?

Churlita said...

What a roller coaster. It's totally fine to call people twats If they never find out and it makes you feel better at the time.

Catherinette said...

Do you want me to take a bat to those HR people? Because I will totally do it.

pistols at dawn said...

Wow. Well, who wouldn't want to be part of this well-oiled machine?