She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B

Updates, Apologies, Corrections, and a Confession, In No Particular Order

What a morning. Drama-O-Rama.

I would like to take a moment to thank you for all of your kind words and disturbing, yet somehow uplifting, suggestions for violence to be wielded upon the dastardly villains who didn't see fit to hire me. You have all helped me cope with my most recent bummer. Also, as indicated in the title I want inform you of updates, corrections, apologies and a confession having to do with events in my life that have occurred in the past 24 hours or so.

8:25am - The Correction
When I arrived at the office this morning, tear swollen and red rimmed from last night's crying jag, I found a new appointment in my schedule for a short meeting with the co-managers who had interviewed me for the job I wanted and did not get.

The appointment was titled "Hiring Decision" and was set to occur in 20 minutes. I barely had time to remove my snow boots and the furrow from my brow, get coffee or practice thinking about the whole situation without crying.

8:45am - Apology #1
They were shocked to discover that I already knew I didn't get the job because, as it turns out, HR sent me the robo-rejection by mistake and they had intended all along to let me down in person. They were very sorry for the robo-rejection.

9:15am - The Confession
As the meeting was wrapping up we were all smiles and sunshine. Then one of the co-managers insisted on giving me a hug. Under normal circumstances this would have been fine. I'm all about the hugging. I like hugs for the most part and under the right circumstances I find them perfectly acceptable at work and I think that our meeting totally qualified as the right circumstances.

However.

Due to serious downward mood swing caused by the previous evenings robo-rejection, I didn't pay as close attention to my wardrobe selection this morning as I might normally. I chose a pair of slightly too loose corduroy pants paired with a slightly too short sweater, thus causing a theater curtain sized portion of my flabby be-stretch-marked midsection to be exposed to daylight during the hug. I have since learned that stretch marks have nerve endings that are extremely sensitive to air and daylight because I swear to god I felt physical pain.

9:30 am - You're Killing Me
I had just started to recover from meeting and the whole exposed midsection incident and get back to work when I looked up and saw the sweet, kindly co-worker I bitched about yesterday. The one who keeps asking me if I've heard anything about the job. She had that look on her face. I knew what was coming so I cut her off at the pass. People, I didn't even take off my headphones or give her enough time to speak. I just looked her square in the eye and sharply said, "No!" As if I was correcting a bad dog.

And then I pointed down the hall as if to say keep walking.

9:50 am - Apology #2
I received a phone call from HR with a formal apology. I was in no mood to answer the phone and accept the apology graciously or in person, so I let the pathetic HR dude leave a grovelling voice mail. Also this way I get to listen to it over and over again and that can be very satisfying. That's right HR dude. Bow and cower in my presence.

10:15 am - Unfucking Believable
I checked my gmail only to discover that I had received yet again the exact same robo-rejection from HR that was apologized for not 30 minutes ago. Yes. The asshole apologized and then RE-SENT it.

Update - Yippee! I'm Number Two
Here's the poop: It was down to me and one other person who happened to be an internal candidate. They hired someone internally. No surprise there. It is very difficult to get a job here. They almost always hire internally. They have since changed the rules and you can only contract here for a year and a half before you get shit canned, but I know people that were contractors for as long as 6 years before getting hired. So my beef was not so much that I didn't get the job. No. My beef was the robo-rejection. Today they gave me my love, so I'm feeling much better.

Apology #3
I am sorry I called my co-worker friend a Twat in my post yesterday. She doesn't read my blog, but still.

Thinly Veiled Smarm

Some time back I posted about the guy I used to think was gay until he visited my cube and confessed a keen romantic interest in my young female co-worker friend, we'll call her Jogger.

At the time I was in shock because of two things -
1.) His interest in a female, and

2.) The fact that he proceeded to dish some ripe-juicy office gossip, not the least of which was that he is divorced from one of my other co-workers - the one that was 9 months pregnant, also a female (now on maternity leave - she's remarried and it's not his) AND that he used to date one of the other temps - yet another female.

It was too much information to digest in one sitting and now I am unsure what advice I gave him about young Jogger. I'm pretty sure that I told him that she was currently available, but also that in my humble opinion, because I know her fairly well, that she was recently broken up and recovering from a serious, long-term relationship. Oh yes, and also that I thought she was way too young for him.

He is 37 and she is 23.

I was gracious about it, of course. Regardless though, I KNOW I said nothing that might encourage him to think that she may be interested.

I certainly never said "Why don't you hang around her cubicle, bug her all day and stare at her inappropriately? Young chicks really dig that."

His confession occurred on a Friday, so obviously the very next Monday I told Jogger all about it. Her response was "Ew!" Accompanied by a squinched up, disgusted facial expression. Suffice it to say, she's not interested.

Over the course of the past several weeks Jogger has gotten back together with her boyfriend. Also, to my delight she has been added to our team of data mining enthusiasts and so changed cubicles in order to be closer to us. Now she sits at the cubicle adjacent from mine and Hey Mr. DJ's. It's nice to have her near by and we've been working very closely together. I like her a lot.

In the olden days I used to see Gaydar every so often in the break room or while standing around waiting my turn at the printer, but now he seems to have decided to make a nuisance of himself and find a million reasons a day to come by, talking and laughing at top volume to any number of other people whose cubes are conveniently located near her, and in particular Hey Mr DJ who is seated right across from poor Jogger.

He's all business for the first few minutes and then eventually he breaks into jokey banter and frequent references to his motorcycle, bars he goes to or other personal matters that I'm guessing he thinks make him sound young, hip, masculine and sexually appealing to 23 year old temps who are barely out of college.

The man is out of control.

I can only wonder at what Hey Mr. DJ thinks of all the attention he's garnering from Gaydar these days.

Gaydar is not an unattractive man. In fact he's kind of cute and seemingly very nice. But he is driving poor Jogger insane.

Occasionally he'll turn around from bugging Hey Mr. DJ and try to include Jogger in their conversation, or he'll stop by and ask her inane questions about the project she is working on.

Oh, and how about this? He typed up a "guide book" for her to use on a project she's working on with him. It seemed like a nice gesture except that the special treatment only ended up embarrassing Jogger and irritating the crap out of all the other temps who are also working on the same project and received no such "guide book". Smooth.

This morning she came in to find a mysterious packet of Oreo cookies on her desk. No note. And no one fessing up to leaving them for her. Smooth. I of course told her that they were probably from Gaydar and excessively dosed with Ruffies. Then I laughed myself silly because I am at heart very mean spirited and find the whole situation quite humorous.

Anyhoo... I'm wondering how much longer this can go on? Why is he fucking around? For gods sake man ask her out! Let her say NO, disappoint you and get this shit over with.