Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Get Ready for Lies & Exaggerations


MDH and I are spending New Year's in Columbus and I can hardly keep still I'm so excited. Well, I guess I'm sitting still enough to write this blog post, but anyway, you'll just have to trust me - I'm excited. I'll be surrounded by my old friends in a city I know like the back of my own hand. Home.

We're not staying long (driving back early Saturday), but I think I've managed to work out a schedule which will maximize friend hanging time and also take full advantage of the old neighborhood while we are there. In fact I think I'm most looking forward to Friday afternoon because I've planned an unplanned day in our old neighborhood.

The beauty of planning an unplanned day is that I don't know exactly where we will end up, but I'm sure it will include lunch (maybe here or perhaps here) and possibly a movie. I don't care where else we go but we are definitely going here. Maybe.

Meanwhile I leave you with a super long winded post including a bullet point list of random bullshit I was thinking of yesterday at work when I was unable to concentrate from the anticipation of our trip.

  • Remember weekend before last when I posted the snowy photo and bitched about having to go to the Supermarket? Well, here's what happened. I did not go. Not only did I not go, but I waited until the Tuesday before Christmas and made MDH go with me. Oh, and get this - he is the one who pushed the shopping cart through the slushy parking lot. It was pretty great.

  • I realized on Christmas day when I was hanging out at my friend Rachel's that I haven't had a cigarette in well over 6 months. I hadn't been keeping track. All I know is this:

    I think I'm done smoking.

    I think about smoking sometimes, especially when I'm watching an old movie or god forbid a French movie, but then I remember that heavy feeling I used to have in my chest and the way my all coats used to stink and I get over it. It's not a horrible gnawing craving like I used to get, more like I think to myself Oh, this is a moment where I might normally want to smoke my fucking head clean off but I don't do that anymore.

    (I realize that I have posted about not smoking before, but this time I really mean it. I used to cheat here and there and I haven't even been doing that.)

  • In related news I also realize at this moment, as I sit here typing this, my pants are too damn tight and that while it's all terrific and shit and goody for me that I haven't smoked for six months, I have meanwhile gotten fat as a fucking manatee, and am currently wishing that it would be acceptable behaviour for me to sit here in my cube with my pants off. Can't I at least unbutton my pants? Jesus.

  • In other related news, as there was no one else around at the time to disagree with us, last week MDH and I declared for the record that there is no better vehicle for salt and butter than the potato. We decreed it officially a fact.

  • Corn and many of it's related derivatives come in a close second.

  • I saw over at Gwen's place a little thing where she tells 10 honest things and have decided to do one myself. Hence the title of this post. I'll probably do it when I get back from Ohio.

  • I already mentioned that I spent Christmas Day at Rachel's house but I didn't tell you that I simultaneously got to meet her mother, step dad and niece visiting from Washington state and her boyfriend of 6 months.


  • Impressions:


  • Boyfriend adores Rachel and seems to treat her with appropriate reverence.

  • Boyfriends young daughter, decked out in what I was told was sparkly princess outfit #3 of the day and sporting the dark circles and glassy stare that can only result from the exact combination of three things

  • 1. Being under 6 years of age

  • 2. Being awake and in constant motion since 4am and it is now 8pm.

  • 3. It is Christmas and you still believe in Santa.

  • She is the most well behaved and pleasantly demeanored youngster I have encountered in a very long time.
Hey look! I managed to give you bullets and numbers. Damn I'm good.

Oh, and by the way, that's me at the top there on Christmas day about a million years ago. I'm pulling the string on my new Drowsy doll. Click here to find out what happens next.

Does anybody remember the Drowsy doll? I adored this doll and carried it around with me until she nearly disintegrated.

She appeared a bit stoned and a more appropriate name may have been Whiney. When you pulled the string she said annoying bratty things like "I wanna drinka water!!" or "I wanna stay u-up!" How annoying is that?

8 comments:

CDP said...

I thought that was you! I had a Mrs. Beasley; same soft body and plastic head. I used to wear the glasses. Happy New Year!

Suze said...

I also had a Mrs. Beasley. I sure do miss them both! Happy New Year!

SkylersDad said...

Congrats on not smoking, keep it up. It is why I buried both of my parents young, so please don't start.

Gwen said...

Congrats on the smoking. Have a wonderful trip. I had a Marie doll - the Osmond one. Aw yeah.

i am playing outside said...

that doll is all sorts of creepy

Churlita said...

I had a drowsy doll, until my brother took her apart to see how she worked., and then I didn't have a drowsy doll anymore. Wah.

Erin Alberty said...

Salt and butter are the only things that make a potato of any kind tolerable to me. So I guess potato is their ultimate vehicle in terms of achievement.

But as an Iowa-raised midwesterner who spent four years in Michigan being asked constantly about potatoes, I have to stick up for corn. Now that I'm in Utah, I'm asked constantly about buckeyes. But I don't think salt and butter can help with those.

Renaissance Woman said...

I wanted a Mrs. Beasley...does that count. Happy New Years!