Thursday, December 4, 2008

Quickly, quickly

Computer problems are so frustrating.

I've just recovered from the most annoying Trojan thingy that I accidentally downloaded about a month ago and now my power supply and fan seem to have gotten together behind my back and designed an elaborate plot to drive me completely insane.

Eventually I'm going to have to bust the machine open and replace them both, but until then the computer will run normally for an undetermined period of time, anywhere between half an hour and all the way up to 3 hours, and then as I live and breathe, mock my very character by suddenly making a shrill noise and then completely shutting down for no discernible reason.

It happened the other night when I was experimenting with new templates for my blog. Some of you may have seen the results of my experiment briefly. It was sort of cute. A black background with pink text and some flowery, swirly things. I was just playing around and then out of nowhere the fan on my computer started making this sound so loud, at once chugging and whining, I thought a helicopter might be trying to land in there. And then the power cut off. Snap.

Then it got very quiet.

The only sound was my blood boiling.

When I booted back up the pink flowery theme was still there and all my widgets were gone.

Anyhoo... I was so angry that I figured the best thing to do was just turn the fuckin' thing off and walk away. Just walk away, rather than yank it free from all of the cables and cords, drop kick it out to the driveway and run over it a couple of times with my car, as of course was my first impulse.

I'm back now. I put my old template back (as you may see) tonight. Perhaps it's a little bit boring, and maybe I'll change my template when I find the right one or figure out how to design my own. It's going to take me awhile to rebuild my widgits. I thought that I backed them up, but alas, no.

So I was thinking about my younger days, back in simpler times before indoor plumbing, electricity and cell phones. Back when the only video game was Pong, everyone thought high fructose corn syrup was delicious and good for you and Aids was a candy you could eat to lose weight (although it was spelled differently). I was thinking about a time when there were no computers and I had to type all of my term papers on a manual typewriter, and how excited I was to get an electric typewriter for graduation. Twenty-three skiddoo. Fancy me.

I've got to wrap this up quickly because my computer is starting to make that weird helicoper noise again so I know my time here on the blogs this evening is limited. Whatever. Are you still reading this? There's no real point to this post other than that my computer is taking a big shit and instead of ordering the parts, cracking it open and fixing it I'd apparently rather wax nostalgic about the typewriter I got for high school graduation instead of a car like all my friends.
My apologies for any typos and/or spelling errors.


SkylersDad said...

I share your desire for somewhat simpler times, and I remember manual typewriters as well.

Oh my God, we are starting to sound like our parents!

Gwen said...

I was flummoxed by the typewriters that had the screen that displayed about 100 characters at a time, giving you the opportunity to quickly scan for and correct errors. I think that was harder than the old way.

Sorry your computer has emphysema. Get it fixed quick, I miss you.

Frenchie said...

I also wax nostalgic for the days prior to the technology explosion. I talk to my students sometimes about it and I swear I must sound like someone from the 1800's. No remote controls? A dial on the t.v.? A joystick and a red button? No cell phones? Hell, no cordless phones? No computers? No internet? It's astounding how much things have changed in 20 years. It's more like a 60 year gap. I'm glad I was part of those simpler times, since if we do have a complete technology meltdown I'll still know how to function! :-)

Step Right Up said...

I say we all gather round the piano by candlelight and sing songs right after we all toss out our flat screens, tivos, ipods, and these durn puters.

i am playing outside said...

sounds a bit like the computer problems i was having. especially at night, my computer was trying to blow itself up. i opened it up and cleaned the thing out. i used one of those cans of compressed air [make sure to follow the instructions... you dont want to get frost bite!] and then, and this is very important, you use a little brush [i used a paintbrush] and you clean the 3 years of dirt that has built up on the fan. now my computer is running quietly again. huzzah!

Churlita said...

I still call iPods, walkmen. now, who's the scary old lady? I am. That's who.

whoissecretdubai said...

a humble request...(for anyone not allowing this post through--not spam--)

Anyone happen to know who Secret Dubai (the blogger: is?

WendyB said...

Sigh. I miss Pong. And Asteroids. I was really good at that one.

catherinette said...

By "experimenting with new templates" do you actually mean "surfing for porn"?

Renaissance Woman said...

Im with Wendy...I miss Pong. Sorry your having computer issues. Hope its fixed quickly because I miss you!

Eebie said...

I had the same problem with overheating so I bought a small fan and had it blow over the warm spot on the computer. It worked for sometime until the computer was stolen.

CDP said...

I've had computer problems recently and really came SO CLOSE one night to solving them with a hammer.

sparsely kate said...

I remember the time before computers came along...when my parents let me onto their ELECTRIC typewriter, it truly was the most exciting day of my life.

Yes, nothing makes my blood boil more than a computer that is shutting down and mucking up. I've belted my hard drive more times than the dog! which is saying something (haha. I don't really belt the dog)

Anyway, least your still here and I can read you. No matter what the colour is!

Linka72 said...

OMG!! Me and my brother would sneak and eat my mom's Aids ALL the time...oh, good times.