Showing posts with label 20 Questions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 20 Questions. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

20 Questions - Part Three - Travel Edition

When I decided to steal Gwen's 20 Questions idea I was expecting a slightly different outcome. First of all, I thought for sure there would be a slew of raunchy inquiries about my sex life and B, I thought there would be many more inquiries in general. I was a little let down until I tried to answer the STD and pick-up line questions posed by Pistols and realized that I am sadly lacking in the kind of bawdy material that would have made the asking and the answering of such questions worthwhile.

I was more pleasantly surprised by the number of questions you asked pertaining to travel adventures. There were enough of them (well all right, there were only 3, but still) that I decided it would be appropriate to save them for this travel-themed edition of 20 Questions.

Those of you who may have been reading my blog for awhile know that I used to travel extensively around North America for work and also that the primary source of delight in my personal life is traveling just about anywhere with my husband. It's what we do, so I know a thing or two about a thing or two when it comes to travel.

My long time blogger friend, the prolific Miss Tara asked:

Where's the best place you've ever traveled to and why?

This is a tricky one because I rarely have a bad time anywhere. Also I've been so many places it's hard to nail it down to just one best place. So true to form I'll break it down into two separate categories, the United States and abroad, thus causing the answer to this question to be much windier and wordier than necessary.

United States: I love Chicago. We are one quick train ride from where we live (Dullsville) and boom - big city. We try to mix it up and focus on different neighborhoods when we visit, see live music and eat ourselves silly. Chicago is great because it's familiar and yet a completely new experience every time we go.


Abroad: I love Paris. I've been twice, once when I was a teenager I was there for a couple of days and once with MDH for our honeymoon when we stayed for an entire week. I would go every year if I could. It's the best place in the world to eat, drink and people watch, two of my favorite activities. I realize that that is 3 activites, but I didn't notice my error until I had already hit the publish button.(Here's a photo of our last night in Paris, wining and dining it up.)

Churlita over at Churlish Figure, another of my long-time blogger friends, and the first blog I ever put in my Favorites folder, by the way, asks:

What would be your dream vacation if you could go to a place you've never been before?

I've always wanted to go to Portugal and the Azores. Well, not always, but since I met MDH because that's where his family is from and also because before I met him I didn't think it was possible to meet someone who wanted to travel as much as I did. Prior to that Portugal was not even on my radar. Anyhoo... I love the idea of his exotic, ethnic background and the fact that his family has an "old country". We'll get there someday. It's on the agenda.

One could argue that my family has an "old country" too, but I've already been to Kentucky several times and it's just not the same.

Speaking of travels to exotic lands, this next question is from the only regular reader that I have in a foreign country (that I know of - otherwise reveal yourselves!), the lovely lipped Australian, Sparsely Kate:

Have you ever been on a plane with terrible turbulence? What is the worst air plane experience of your life? What flight was it, where were you going and what happened?

Sparsely the answer to your first question is yes, I've experienced terrible turbulence, but after so many years on the road, during which time it was not usual for me to be on up to 6 flights a week (that's including stopovers folks, so don't get too excited), I have become jaded. It's true, I am entirely unfazed by turbulence. Typically I fall asleep as soon as the engines start up and the plane backs out of the gate. Something about that low, constant humming is as good as 2 Ambien and a lullaby to me.

I do, however, remember once being sharply awakened by the screaming of the other passengers during a particularly bumpy red-eye while coming home from Phoenix. I hazily looked about and after establishing no sign of flames, box-cutter wielding terrorists, or that the little oxygen thingys hadn't popped out of the ceiling, I rolled my eyes and went right back to night-night time. Totally jaded.

The worst airplane experiences for me have nothing whatsoever to do with the flight itself and more to do with a lack of tolerance and over all bitchy attitude toward the more dim-witted of my fellow travelers. You can read about it here if you like.

In case you were wondering, the photo at the top is for Evil-E over at Random Crap, another long time blogger friend and constant cataloger of random graffiti. I took it for him on our trip last month to Philadelphia. I meant to post it last night, but MDH was hogging the office and I couldn't squeeze in long enough to make it happen. Better late than never! Anyhoo... looks like Dean was either outed by another tagger or became a little unsure of himself and decided to add a more readable signature to his handiwork.

Friday, July 25, 2008

20 Questions - Part Two - STD's & Personal Care Edition

Welcome back! Glad to know that I haven't driven all of you away with my recent severe hatred of over used trite phrases, tales of long ago unsatisfied promiscuity, and crazed obsession with the direction of the toilet paper roll. I'll have to try harder from now on. (I'm just kidding, please don't leave me.)

Ummm... what was I talking about? Oh yes, today's installment of 20 questions. Here we go...

Pistols at Dawn, self-professed jerk, and one of my all time favorite bloggers, writes:

Please tell me the best STD story your "friends" have ever told you. Wait, that's not a question. Can you make it one? That's a question.

I know many of you will find this hard to believe and don't give me any shit about it because it's the truth, but I personally don't know anyone who has fessed up to ever having anything worse than a yeast infection and unfortunately (for the purposes of telling your requested story) those are not typically transmitted sexually.

Try again Pistols:

What was the worst pickup line ever used on you?

Strike two Pistols. I don't have much experience in this arena either. I never really got hit on very much, so my collection of cheesy pick up lines that guys have tried on me is limited to the standard kind that we all have heard, were so bad as to be completely forgotten or simple, brutish references to my rack or his cock.

When I used to go out a lot the bars I frequented were pretty clique-ish so most of the people at these places knew me or knew of my reputation as a "nice girl" - it kept me out of trouble, much to my chagrin. I also had a lot of male friends around which tend to fend off advances from potentially interested dudes.

Moving on...

CDP, who has a lovely blog with some fantastic writing over at (parenthetical) asks:

What cosmetic/skin care/hair product or products are you currently obsessed with?

Excellent question. This is a topic that's dear to my heart - Potions!!

I'm all over Kiehl's Abyssine line of anti-aging goop. These products have allowed me to fool myself, much more easily than similarly priced products, into believing that they are actually working. I have been buying these products on line and using them for years without having ever stepped inside a Kiehl's store, so I was thrilled to disover that limited items from this brand are available at Target.


Lean in a little closer so that I can tell you all about how I snagged what is normally a $32 jar of eye cream that was mismarked on a clearance end cap for $2. Score! God I love Target.

Also - keep your eyes peeled for a hair care brand called Davines (Dah-Ven-Ess), I hereby predict that within a year it'll be all the rage.

Our last question in this installment is from Chris over at The Radloff's Random Midnight Thoughts who wants to know:

What's your favorite drink recipe? I have a new blender, you see, and not much imagination. I needs help.

Fear not Chris. I may not know much about STD's or pick-up lines, but I do know my way around blender drinks. Here are two of my favorite recipes:

Non-Alcoholic:

Lady's Gotta Smoothie
1 banana (peel it first silly!)
1 juice of one lemon
1 cup of your favorite frozen or fresh berries
1/2 cup ice
1/2 cup orange juice

Add all of that shit to your blender, slowly. Blend and add more shit as the stuff gets blended. Look at you all healthy and shit!

Lets get drunk now... here's a good one for summer:

Watermelon Sloshy (like a slushy, only with booze)
2 cup watermelon (seeded, cubed)
1/2 cup pomegranate juice
1/2 cup ice cubes
1/2 cup vodka (add more if you want, it's your liver)

Blend until slushy. Hammer time.

More questions answered - coming soon!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

20 Questions - Part One - C'mon people...

Well perhaps I was a bit optimistic yesterday when I said that I would only choose 20 questions to answer. I was cock-sure that my inbox would be filled to the brim and nearly bursting at the seams with your inquiries about the glory and wonder that is me. Umm... maybe I have already given away all the goodies on this blog and lost your curiosity completely as my inbox is quite flaccid. I've only gotten 10 questions asked so far and one of you (Thanks Gwen!) asked two questions.

I'll start with Gwen's questions because not only did she devote a great deal of her post to me today and I'm a huge suck up, but also because it's a topic that causes great debate between me and my mom.

Gwen asks:

Are you particular about the direction your toilet paper goes on the roll? You know, the end of the paper on top of the roll vs. on the bottom of the roll?

Yes Gwen. As it happens I am quite particular about this. My mother thinks that the paper should go under, which is clearly insane. Have you ever been drunk and spinning and spinning that goddamned toilet paper roll all around trying to find the end until you're dizzy and ready to cry? Then you end up all angry, scratching and clawing at it like a wild animal? My mother is quite the lush so I'm puzzled that she continues to place the paper in the dispenser this way. She says the end of the roll is "unsightly". (Cu-koo!)

I am a firm believer that the toilet paper end should be prominently displayed for the next potential wiper and not hidden away like some secret treasure. It should go over. Go to any hotel worth a damn and you will find it displayed this way, sometimes in a tidy triangular fold. Some of the swankier hotels will even fold it in a festive and easily grasped fan shape. This pleases me greatly.

We don't argue about it anymore. She goes her way and I go mine, but secretly I know in my heart that I am correct because if the Four Seasons is doin' it my way, then it cannot be wrong.

Gwen also asks:


How did you and YDH meet?

MDH (My Darling Husband) and I met on Match.com almost 9 years ago, before most people were calling themselves McLovin* or putting pictures of themselves on their profiles. You can read some of our correspondence during the early days of our budding romance here.

Speaking of pictures, Linka72 over at Stop Looking At My Screen. Nosy, a frequent commenter and very funny blogger, asks:

Have you ever taken a photo such as that for your husband (or any man for that matter)??..

I'll assume that you are asking if I've ever had a sexy-ish photo taken of myself in some kind of nudie, glamour shot type of situation and I'll start off with the short answer which is - not on purpose.

I normally don't give out a lot of information about things that occurred of a sexual nature before I met my husband, but I'll make an exception, because I promised I would. Here is the dirt:

Once upon a time when I was single and in the throes of a serious drought I deigned to go out with a man who was a total cheese ball. I gave him a break because he had a cool job as a photographer for a local newspaper and he started to look a lot more appealing after I let him get me shitfaced. Fast forward to what was probably only an hour or two later, in a whirlwind of desperation to get laid, I allowed this man to whisk me back to his place where we proceeded to make out on his sofa.

One thing lead to another, as can happen sometimes when an unattached young lady hasn't had even the slightest prospect of a high hard one for several months, and I found myself sobering up and nude in his bedroom. In the nick of time apparently, as we had broken ranks for a moment so that he could dig around for a condom - so there wasn't yet any penetration. I trotted hazily off to the bathroom to collect my thoughts and along the way discovered a hallway plastered with framed photographs of kittens.

Kittens in baskets, kittens in teacups, kittens wearing tiny straw hats and overalls. There were photographs of kittens all over the fuckin' place. It was a kitten decor from kitten hell. I thought maybe it was his idea of kitch, so I yelled out "Like kittens much?", to which he replied in a completely serious tone, "You know? I really do."

Needless to say, after some witless blathering about having to get up early the next morning, I started to high tail it out of there. I rushed back into the bedroom to scoop up my clothes and as I was doing that jumping dance, trying to get dressed and run away as quickly as possible at the same time, I bumped into something.

It was a tripod.

With a video camera on it.

The red light was blinking.

For all I know there is some horrifying video out there showing all of my pink giblets to the world, making out in the nude with some random shithead. I don't know. I don't care. I never looked back. I never returned his calls.
The end.

Stay tuned for more of your burning questions answered (that is a clue for you Pistols). Meanwhile the comments box is open folks - let's see if we can't get to at least 21 questions asked - so that I will feel as though I have some options here. Humor me.


*A friend at work just joined and is continually disgusted by the overwhelming number of men using the handle "McLovin". If a McLovin sends her a message she automatically assumes a lack of personality and imagination and deletes it.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Silence Is Golden, Duct Tape Is Silver

Hey! Today marks the one year anniversary of my first post on this blog. I knew it was coming up but I didn't realize that it was today. I would've planned for something special, but alas, I've got jack shit to talk about today.

Instead let me just say thanks to all of you who bother to come here and read my crap. Thanks guys!

When I started this blog I was 2 months out of work, living in a city where I didn't know a soul, and had a head full to bursting with random thoughts that had just been rolling around in there for years with no where to go. There have been some times when I have doubted the wisdom of spilling my guts out on the internets for random strangers to read and wondering if I shouldn't just keep my trap shut - and then you people started leaving comments. And I liked it.

At this point I can't imagine there is any topic about my personal life that I haven't covered on my blog, but just in case I thought I would steal an idea from one of my favorite bloggers Gwen and leave the comments open for your questions. Ask me anything I promise to give the most honest answer possible without naming real names. Following Gwen's example I will choose 20 questions.

The title of this post and photo at the top (No - it isn't me - so don't include that in the questions, asshat) are totally random and unrelated to anything in particular. They were sitting unused in my "blog fodder" folder. I had been saving them for a rainy day and so far haven't come up with a reason to use them in a post. Maybe Fawless can use it in her Monday caption contest someday. There you go Fawless, Happy Birthday!, don't say I never gave you anything.