Monday, February 18, 2008

Calendar Girl

This past Christmas money was a little tight so MDH and I agreed not to exchange gifts. We also made the same agreement with my parents. Of course I sent presents to my mother in law because I'm the only person who ever does and if I didn't she wouldn't get a goddamn thing from any of her 5 sons.

I was fine with the 2007 no gifts policy, but realized this week that something was missing. A void that is normally filled at Christmas time - new calendars. I usually get two every year, one from MDH and one from my mom.

I didn't even notice until I started my new job last week. My cubicle is empty but I'm not planning to decorate it with hoo-haws and doo-dads like my Troll Doll collection, clipped Cathy and Dilbert cartoons, and framed family portraits because I don't have any of those things and also because I'm a temp, so that would be a little ridiculous. However, I do like to keep a nice big wall calendar at my desk because the one that comes with Windows is useless as far as holidays and such. Plus I'm old fashioned and like to write shit down with a pen.

No Christmas gifts - no calendars, so this weekend I perused to see what kind of personal cubicle statement I'd like to make.

The selection was as endless as people have hobbies and quirks and as I shopped I couldn't help but be fascinated by the fact that there are enough people out there who like some of this crap to make it profitable to compile a calendar about it. Animals are popular I guess. There is a calendar for every breed of dog, kittens, puppies, pigs, horses, and pairings of smaller animals with horses with titles like "Barn Buddies".

Here are some of my favorites:

Who wouldn't love a year's worth of color photographs of smirking, red-eyed rodents?

Sexy Vatican Alter Boys - disturbing on many levels.

World traveling Marshmallow Peeps. Good thing it wasn't raining.

Pictures of ganja for your viewing pleasure with tips for growing your own crops. It would be cool if it were printed on rolling paper.

Does somebody actually come up with new photo ideas each year and audition roosters and hens for this? I kind of hope so.

What did I finally end up with? This one:
I have fond memories of Toronto and the Bada Shoe Museum.

PS - I wrongly assumed that Blogger would have gotten their shit together by now and fixed the fucking spell checker and loaded all of the pictures before I realized that they still have their head up thier collective ass. So sorry for any moronic-ness, but I'm not going to paste this thing into Word. I'm sure you know what I mean.


WendyB said...

I want the peeps calendar!

evil-e said...

The Peeps calender is definitely the best one....I love those nauseating things.

I went to the dollar store and purchased a couple of very plain, very boring, no guilt in scribbling all over them calenders.

I just started the new gig today...I agree, no decorations this time around. I am going to let my new coworkers play guess the personality with me!!

Frenchie said...

I'm so glad you posted something new. That little girl with the bread is so freaky! I had to stop checking back...her eyes were haunting me.

I also like the Peeps calendar. I'll have to go peruse amazon myself and see what I can dig up.

Tara said...

I love calendars. I did not get any either this Christmas, so I had to buy my own. I need one for the kitchen. Also bought a few for my friends and I'm so tempted to take one and use it for myself.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

WendyB - it's cute and it reminds me of my aunt Jess who had a weird love of stale peeps. Every Easter my mother would send her a care package containing a slit open box of peeps so they would be stale by the time they arrived.

Evil - I'm sure my new coworkers will figure out soon enough that my personality is a slobbish one. I'm still too new to have developed any real mess yet. In due time.

Frenchie - Madame La Prof? Is that you honey? I miss your blog babe. Sorry about the scary excitable 50's tot. Come back and look at my real life 50's hula girl.

Tara - keep the calendar - get your friends gift cards to Friday's. They'll never have to know.

Churlita said...

I'm terrified of Peeps...And chickens aren't much better.

My daughter bought an Archies calendar last year and it was so weird to see Betty and Veronica in a 7th graders room.

Dick Small said...

The "herbal" calendar's my favorite. The Roman calendar is rather disturbing, but I would get one. For a friend of mine.

~*SilverNeurotic*~ said...

I have a ferret, so I don't need a ferret calender. I want a Beatles calender, I bought one for a friend one Christmas and have wanted one since. I was hoping said friend would reciprocate...and he did, except with a Zen a day calender.

Would it be very unzen like to strangle him?

CDP said...

The Washington Post Sunday magazine does a Peeps diorama contest every spring, the pictures are pretty hilarious.

Blowing Shit Up With Gas said...

I'd have opted for the ferrets.

SkylersDad said...

I always get a couple of calendars, a Star Trek ships of the line (yes, I know I'm a geek) and a dog one.

Michelle said...

We had ferrets and loved them! I'll take that calendar.

pistols at dawn said...

Calendars are the tools of witches. I don't believe in them.

Frenchie said...

Yes...Frenchie is Frenchie again since I chickened out & deleted my blog for fear of getting fired (a person I used to work with sent the blog link to someone I NOW work with!), I'm back to Frenchie now.

Leonesse said...

Boy, do I understand Frenchie's issues. Darn good stuff on the blog I had to delete.

Anonymous my ass.

The Guv'ner said...


I want the sequel to "Chickens". It will be called "Cocks".

Gifted Typist said...

Love the word moronic-ness. Is that trademarked? If not I think I'll use it.

Linka72 said...

That shoes calendar excited me in a very strange way..I loooove shoes.
I usually just wait for the crappy offering of free calendars that my workplace gives us..yay free stuff