I've been working at a job I truly enjoy, with a great bunch of lovely people that I truly like, since the middle of February. I'm a temp and, unbelievably fabulous and amazing though I am, have been given no promise of permanent employment. Not even a smidge. Oh sure, they all tell me how great I am and have thanked me with kind words and a few small bonuses here and there, but my ID badge is dated Jan 15, 2009. My expiration date.It's sad really, but on the other hand, being a temp gives me great freedom to say fuck it, when certain situations arise.
Be that as it may, I have done the best work possible for these people. I never say no when someone gives me an assignment or complain no matter how crappy that assignment may be. I smile, and say "Sure!", although I might ask how soon it's needed so that I can better prioritize all the other 10 kazillion things they have me doing. I have to prioritize because I have to somehow fit it all into an 8 hour day. I'm an hourly employee and not approved for any overtime.
I make it happen because I am good and I am trustworthy. I am Supertemp. You can rely on me.
Lately, because summer is drawing to it's close and the people I work with are gainfully employed and have all worked there longer than dirt (this month Hey Mr. DJ celebrates his 38th year with the company with no sign of eminent retirement) and subsequently have more vacation time, sick time, and personal days racked up than I ever dreamed would be possible in a lifetime, let alone in one year, they are often out of the office - and have all apparently decided that I am a terrific out of office back up.
I'm a temp. I don't get vacation days. I am always there. Every ding dong day. Reliable, that's me.
It's fine when it's one person. But when it is 3 or 4 people and on one occasion recently FIVE people - it's just simply not OK.
I should mention that I barely have time to perform my own job and fulfill my own responsibilities and tasks within a what always seems to be a very short 8 hour day.
Frankly, it's getting old.
So here is a message to all of the people who have slammed me, and will probably continue to slam me during my coworkers absences, with arm flapping emails marked "Urgent!", with all caps in the subject line and little flaming envelope icons:
I'm only vaguely aware of some of the projects that my lovely teammates are currently working on.
Don't get me wrong, I am happy to help you when time permits and when my associates have given me the tools and background information that I need to help you. But they didn't. They only fill me in on the truly important stuff and since I have no fucking idea what the bloody hell you are talking about, I can only assume that you are:
a.) a giant liar head
b.) mistaken
c.) in a deep bucket of shit because you waited until the last minute to do this "Urgent!" thing and forgot that my co-worker was going to be out of the office
d.) all of the above
Don't get me wrong, I am indeed a whiz, and I really (sort-of) would like to help you out, but you are misguided if you think that I am so intimately up my collective coworkers asses as to be able to read their minds from afar. And no, I'm not going to try to reach them at home.
As I mentioned before I don't even know what the fuck you are drivelling about, so don't ask me to make snap decisions on their behalves, try to gain access to their files, or have all the relevant numbers for your project memorized.
You are shit out of luck.
They are not here.
It will have to wait until they come back.
Re-fucking-lax.
Oh, and while I'm at it - It is not OK to cram an entire message into the subject line of your email. It's an email, not a text message. Even if you somehow manage to squeeze "pls" and "thx" in there, it's rude. Stop it.
