Monday, January 21, 2008

How To Be Puerile... Butts 'R Funny

Chuck Norris has been in the news quite a lot lately. Mainly because he has apparently been surgically attached to the hip of Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee.

Every time I see Chuck Norris I fall into a fit of giggles because Amy and I used to call his old TV show Walker, Texas Butthole. Although we never watched this show, calling it Walker, Texas Butthole was very entertaining to the point that sometimes I forget the real title.

Anyhoo... We eventually added the word butt or butthole to any other movie or show we found objectionable and the result was always amusing.

Since I've been seeing so much of him lately and I am mostly unfamiliar with his body of work I thought it would be fun to visit IMDB and see what other of Chuck Norris's titles could be similarly abused. To my idiotic delight, quite a few:

Butthole! Butthole! (1977)
Tagline: A town without justice. A butthole without fear.
Plot: Truck driver searches for his butthole, who has disappeared in a town run by a corrupt judge. Karate ensues.

Buttholes Wear Black (1978)
Tagline: The C.I.A. can't afford John T. Booker... alive.
Plot: An ex-US Army commando must find the reason why buttholes from his unit are being systematically murdered before he is next. Karate ensues.

A Force of Butt (1979)
Tagline: He hears the butthole. He sees the butthole. He's the only butthole who can stop the killing.
Plot: A team of undercover buttholes is conducting an investigation when things mysteriously begin to go haywire. Karate ensues.

Lone Wolf McButthole (1983)
Tagline: The 'Mad Dog' Criminal...The 'Lone Butthole' Lawman...The Ultimate Showdown.
Plot: The archetypal renegade Texas Butthole wages war against a drug kingpin with automatic weapons, his butthole and martial arts after a gun battle leaves his partner dead. Karate ensues.

Our fun little juvenile game translates well to some other titles from TV shows and movies that got way more attention and accolades than they deserved and/or feature actors I dislike:

Touched By a Butthole


Diagnosis Butthole

Dances With Head Up Butt

Message In A Butthole


Far From Perfect said...

Not quit sure how I clicked my way to you...but I am cracking up.Funny.I plan on blog stalking
you in the future.Enjoyed it.

The Guv'ner said...

Wahahaha infantile humour is the best humour, miss Lady. Message in a Butthole = HIGH-LARITY! :):)

Is it just me or does Chuck Norris in that beard and a turtle neck, not look like a gay man's dream? And why does he look like Tim Allen? I see him and I think "Could a man look LESS manly than you, Chuck Norris?"

WendyB said...

I just laughed my butt off!

i am playing outside said...

good game. i'd like to play it someday myself. maybe i will.

Anonymous said...

Very funny. I watched "Gone with the Butthole" this weekend.

evil-e said...

My dear you kill me....

That is just the kind of juvenile and boorish, high schooly humor I enjoy. The word butthole needs more positive attention such as this.

Madame said...

You're too funny! This is Frenchie, by the way.

Gwen said...

And bands . . . The Butthole Surfers . . . oh crap, they're real. I suck at this.

belly said...

nothing like butt jokes to crack a smile.

butt seriously, thank god it does. freaking funny post.

sid said...

LOL! I too actually forgot the title of Walker Texas Ranger for a mo.

Family Adventure said...

Lady, tell me, should we be scared that this is all it takes to crack us up? Because I am in stitches.

"Karate ensues, butthole!"



CDP said...

I LOVE butthole humor. The Academy Award nominations were announced this morning; No Country for Buttholes was recognized, as was Charlie Wilson's Butthole

Tee hee hee hee hee!

another good thing said...

hahahahah ok I am officially 12.
Shamus McButthole The Third

Blowing Shit Up With Gas said...

"Diagnosis Butthole"

A classic.

dmarks said...

Buttlock? Now imagine Abe Simpson wailing "We want Buttlock.....!". It's probably something his nursing home will provide him if he pays enough.

pistols at dawn said...

I got a message in a butthole once. It was "no way."

SkylersDad said...

My dad would always mess up the title and call it Texas Walker Ranger.

No amount of correcting him would fix this.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

FFP - Welcome! Glad you like my 3rd grade humor.

Guv - Chuck Norris is just creepy with his skaggy beard and giant teeth and guys my dad's age love him. Ew.

Butts are fun for the whole family.

Wendy - Quick! Tie a big velvet bow on it!

Player - A quick scan of your local TV listings is all you need to play along.

Suze - It works with every era and genre.

Evil - Not that I don't enjoy more sophisticated humor, but butts come in awfully handy.

Madame! - my new fellow blogger I believe we've enjoyed a butt joke together a time or two.

Gwen - Bands? How about this - Hootie & the Butthole? Eh?

Belly - Thanks for stopping by! Glad you liked my post.

Sid - Welcome to my blog! It's easy to forget the real title when the butthole enhanced one is so much more fun.

Heidi - Not to worry... laugh it up. I'm still laughing at it and I wrote the damn thing - butts are never tiresome.

CDP - I can't dis the Coehn Bros too much (cause I lurve their films), but let's see what I can come up with...
here we go - O' Butthole Where Art Thou?

AGT - makin' up the butthole names? you creative soul you...

BSUWG - Dick Van Dyke's character is a proctologist, right?

Dmarks - not sure who Abe Simpson is, but I get the nursing home reference for sure.

Pistols - at least you were able to charm your way past the Buttlock.

Skydad - my dad does that too!!

Eric said...

If there is anyone alive that claims to be to mature to laugh at "Message in a Butthole" I'd like to meet them so I can punch them in the face. That's hilarious on so many different levels.

Churlita said...

Message in a Butthole was the best ever. I bow down to you.

Linka72 said...

Sadly, I have been Touched By a Butthole..