I love making fun of old people just as much as the next jerk, but it's hard enough to breathe at bingo with all of the cigarette smoke without wearing a rubber mask. Besides you wouldn't be able to see properly through those eye holes to plop your marker on the right numbers. You'd just make a damn mess.I also think the hats are a little redundant. Of course you love bingo. You wouldn't be there if you didn't. I'd like to see a hat that conveys a more honest message, like "I Smoke and I've Got a Gambling Problem" or "This Is the Only Time I Ever Leave the House and My Kids Never Visit" but I guess there isn't enough space.
Waistband Extenders
Also known as Buy Some New Pants, Fatass. It's better than muffin top, but only marginally.At only $3.95 a pop I suppose it's more economical than buying new pants, but really, just go ahead and unbutton your pants. You know you want to. Keep an extra set in your pocketbook for Crab Leg Night at the Golden Trough.
Hairstyle Protector
Apparently Adriana Lima was busy so they had to hire an artist to draw it instead. It appears to be made entirely of spider webs.
26 comments:
Thanks for the links...Valentine's day is coming and now I know where to shop.
WendyB - As always, I'm here to help. I'm honored that a fashionista like you is taking advice from my blog. You're quite a trendsetter so if you buy them, let me know so I can look for them in W. Adriana Lima will be wringing her hands for having the missed opportunity.
WendyB - PS I'm envisioning the mask, extenders and spider web shower cap as accessories to those shiny leggings you're such an advocate of.
Ew, you're right, that hairstyle protector does look like a web. Blergh!
Those waistband extenders would make excellent gifts for the holidays. The thank yous after the big holiday meal would be endless!
LOL! Those waistband extender Crack.Me.Up!
Heidi
Damn, you mean my hair can stay styled if I just wear the cobweb hat? I'm heading out to buy one now. Can I pick up one for you while I'm out?
Cobwebs to save my hair. With my hair, I'd try anything.
I just undo my pants, who the hell cares where I am at!
Maybe that's why I am banned from most buffets
You actually ventured into bingo night? Holy crap....I went once, never again.
I happen to like hats..if ever a bingo playing old fart, I'd be wearing one of those in a slow, elderly heartbeat.
I have my own waistbander extension trick that doesn't cost anything. I simple cut the waistband on my jeans. I may only need one cut or if their tighter pants I cut both sides. Works like a charm.
hmm... wasitband extenders you say....
lol
I so could have used those fateners at Thanksgiving meal!!! LOL
OMG the bingo masks??? THAT is so funny. I am with you, they would so get in the way of me winning my next $mill!
I thought it looked more like a shower cap??? Then again, I use a shower cap so I can have my shower in the AM w/out the fuss of doing my hair every dang day!
I guess I don't get bingo. You are saying bingo players go to a bingo hall wearing bingo masks and bingo hats to fool everybody else in the bingo hall into thinking they're playing bingo? They are a devious bunch, these bingoists.
The masks are creepy....especially the woman one.
Urrghh..
Along with the bingo mask, I say they make incredibly topical Milton Berle masks, or maybe Winston Churchill. The kids love that guy.
hahaha, I think I'll be ordering several dozen waist band extenders. that is just too handy to pass up and it's never my arse or my thighs that expand, just my stomach.
highly attractive, too.
Just for that I'm going to go out and deliberately buy tiny pants for my size 12 ass and a set of expanders so I can kid myself I am a size six. Fantastic!!!! :)
I ain't going to bingo for no man though.
Boy that was good English! Why aren't I teaching?
The waist extenders are a hoot! But don't laugh, I actually learned that people do that with plain old rubber bands!
You should get a copy of the Vermont Country Store catalog, it will provide you with excellent fodder for this series (which is awesome).
Wastebands are so restricting. I've began wear sweatpants 24/7.
Wow. Those masks are extremely disturbing.
... and believe me, I know disturbing when I see it.
omg! you are friggin' hilarious!
I don't get it. I am by no means a comedic genius, and I know comedy is a matter of personnal taste so different people find different things amusing, but seriously whose idea was the bingo mask? Who honestly thought that was funny at all, much less funny enough for mass production? Get it, old people like bingo, hilarious. I hate people.
Maybe those aren't masks: a lot of people look like that :(
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