Monday, August 17, 2009

A Guest Post from My Cat Turtle

My owner-lady can't come to the blogs right now because she's too damn depressed and uninspired. More lap for me, less blog for you I guess. Meanwhile she has asked me to write a guest post which is quite a stretch for me considering that my brain is only the size of a walnut and my front paws are declawed which makes typing a bitch.

Anyhoo... (my owner-lady told me to say that) I thought I would take this opportunity to do that Bernard Pivot/Proust questionnaire that James Lipton does on Inside the Actor's Studio


1. What is your favorite word?
Chicken.


2. What is your least favorite word?
No!


3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Being told "No!" often inspires me to keep trying that much harder to go after the things that I want. I'm also a big proponent of napping.

4. What turns you off?
People who are duplicitous. Also getting wet, it's so undignified.


5. What is your favorite curse word?
Motherfucker. I say it all the time!


6. What sound or noise do you love?
The sound of children laughing, rain tapping gently on the roof, the can opener, and crinkling paper.


7. What sound or noise do you hate?
The vacuum cleaner.


8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Dancer.


9. What profession would you not like to do?
Accountant. Bo-ring!


10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Jump up here on the counter and have some chicken!


10 comments:

Jill said...

This made me BWL...so much better than the paltry and over-rated LOL.

Some Guy said...

Awesome, Turtle! Every cat I've ever known has felt the same about the sound of the vacuum cleaner.

SkylersDad said...

Sorry, I have to call you on this. You had me until the cat said duplicitous, and everyone knows their vocabulary just isn't that big...

WendyB said...

My dog Gigi attacks the vacuum cleaner. When it gets put back in the closet she thinks she has triumphed. Meanwhile, Henry will happily sit in the middle of the floor while you vacuum all around him.

Helen said...

That's very cute! I like the favourite sounds!

Del-V said...

My cat's favorite thing is watching me take a shower, but she hates getting wet. How odd...

Churlita said...

Hilarious.

Gwen said...

I shared this post with my boys, Max and Skyler, and they decided to stop worshipping the catnip container and to start worshipping Turtle.

That said, their attention spans leave a lot to be desired so I expect they will change deities again the next time I get the catnip out.

Suze said...

So cute! I hope that your owner comes back soon :)

another good thing said...

I think everyone should have the right to the day off... and just let her pussy do the talking.