One of the department managers brought in doughnuts this morning - something about helping to cheer on a certain West Michigan college sports club. Apparently a local team of a sport I'm totally frickin' sick of (and have complained about enough lately), has done quite well for themselves in their milieu.
I don't really give 2 shits. I heard doughnuts. I showed up.
Typically doughnuts are not my thing. Not that I don't like them. They are delightful, but I'm more of a salty snack kind of gal, give me some olives or cheese crackers, that's more to my taste. Besides people bring doughnuts in the morning after I've usually already eaten breakfast and combined with the fact that my sweet tooth is not that interested I just don't bother. Bagels are another matter, you'd best get out of my way when I hear there are bagels.
But today - a doughnut sounded fine. In fact it, I perked right up in my chair when I heard there were doughnuts in the break room. A doughnut sounded more than fine. I was experiencing a full fledged craving.
I was busy at the moment so I had to finish my work before I could run down there. Meanwhile I fantasized about where the doughnuts were from, Dunkin' Donuts or some nice bakery. What kind would I like? Maybe there would be those glazed sour cream cake-y kind or maybe if I was able to get down there soon enough there would still be some cream filled eclairs left. I hurried up, finished my work and hied my ass to the break room at an electrifying pace.
The first thing I noticed was a big bundle of green and white balloons and then the Krispy Kreme boxes. I overheard someone say they're all glazed. OK. No big deal, my decision has been made for me, that's all. Glazed it is.
Now imagine my shock and disappointment when what was actually served was a tiny little 2 bite mini-doughnut, which is not a doughnut at all. It's many things, including adorable and cute as a god damn button, but it is not a doughnut. It is a sample, a taste, a tease, but not a doughnut.
I had to hide my disappointment as it is pretty rude to act like a big douchebag and complain when someone has gone out of their way to give us treats. Instead I was gracious and took one. I even went so far as to nod in agreement when some of the other folks expressed a positive attitude toward the tiny treats, saying things like "oh, now I don't have to feel so guilty" and the far fetched "you know a normal sized doughnut is too filling anyway". Whatever people.
Anyhoo, that's the great thing about a blog, eh? Smile now. Bitch privately later.
Thanks for listening to me bitch about getting free food.
Update 9:18pm - To any of you who happened to catch it - I am deeply sorry for the mortifying grammatical error that was in the title of this post. In my defense - I had a tuna noodle casserole in the oven and perhaps hit the publish button a bit too hastily.
I would also like to take this opportunity to thank you for continuing to come here and read my stupid blog and somehow hold back from making fun of me despite my hillbilly writing style and other mortifying spelling and grammatical errors that have slipped my notice. You are too kind.