Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Cha cha cha

My best friend Amy teaches 2nd grade and she does this thing with her class where she gives each child a choice on their birthday about how they prefer the rest of the class sing the "Happy Birthday" song to them. She'll ask, "Do you want cha-cha's or no cha-cha's?".

If you choose cha-cha's then the birthday song is boisterous and loud with a lot of wahoo-ing and goes Happy Birthday to you - CHA-CHA-CHA, Happy Birthday to you - CHA-CHA-CHA. I think she does some other stuff too, like she wears a fright wig and big Mr. Magoo glasses, calls herself Birthday Betty and makes the birthday kid wear a giant sombrero or something. I'm not sure, but it's too late to call her to verify at the moment, so you'll just have to take my word for it. This isn't the New York Times and I don't have a staff of fact checkers here.

If you choose no cha-cha's then the song is just sung the normal way with very little fan fair. That's a fact.

I think it's nice that she gives them a choice.

She says you can pretty much divide the world into two kinds of people, those who prefer cha-cha's and those who prefer no cha-cha's.

I'm most definitely no cha-cha's.

And having said that now I will tell you that tomorrow is my birthday and that I will be 42. How the hell did that happen?

There won't be any cha-cha's or fan fair and that's just the way I like it. MDH and I are packing up the car when I get home from work and we're driving to Columbus where I will spend the weekend with my friends and family and that's totally fine with me. I bitch about my family a lot, but honestly I can't imagine a better way to celebrate my life than being surrounded by all the people I love.

Meanwhile I have spent the last week gorging on all sorts of ridiculous candies and treats and splurging on all sorts of crapola and potions along with various assorted services and telling myself it's for my birthday, including but not limited to:

  • Cute little pink ear plugs for $3.99. Quite a luxury as I usually sleep with cotton balls that I have rolled into tight little balls and jammed into my ears to quell the jackhammer of MDH's snoring but these adorable pink ear canal shaped nuggets of foam are official, the real McCoy.

  • A new hair cut with bangs and over $30 worth of hair care products at the salon, which really amounts to one can of Bedhead Queen for a Day and a new round brush because my old one broke a couple of weeks ago and I've been styling my hair with an old pick.

  • Swedish Fish that I bought to give to my friend Becky when I see her in Columbus, but I ate half the bag last night while I watched 24 Hour Party People on our DVR and I can't very well give her a half eaten bag of candy wrapped up with a rubber band.

  • The roast beef with swiss on rye with mayo that I bought for lunch at the cafeteria today - normally I pack something healthy.

  • A pap smear and 3 month supply of birth control pills. Par-tay.

  • An order of hot and sour soup and steamed dumplings for dinner tonight.
So that's me, livin' large.

Anyhoo... I'll take my cha-cha's this weekend in the form of the big Who Doesn't Lunch family reunion on Saturday filled with aunts, uncles, cousins, softball, grilled corn on the cob with lots of butter and salt, new babies that'll get passed around for cuddling, and the never ending bourbon soaked (we are from Kentucky after all) poker game that goes on, after all the kiddies are tucked in bed, into the wee hours of the morning.

In case you were wondering, the picture at the top is a festive "Ass" pinata that I found on Google Images quite by accident.

I hope you all have a wonderful my birthday weekend - cha cha cha!


i am playing outside said...

Happy Birthday, Lady!

I must say, that is a GREAT picture of you. Green is definitely your colour!

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Hey, happy birthday Miss Lady! Make a month of it, I say. A few things:

1) thank you for the meme you gave me last week. I even did it.

2) If someone showed me that photo of you from this entry I'd have put you at aboout 32-34.

3) Who can resist an ass pinata?

Helen said...

I think I might just cha-cha-cha. Depends on the sobrero of course!

Happy birthday for tomorrow!

Some Guy said...

Have a great birthday, with or without cha-chas!

SkylersDad said...

Happy Birthday you young pup! Have a appropriate number of cocktails, put in your ear plugs, and have a wonderful time.

BeckEye said...

Well, Cha Cha DiGregorio told me to tell you happy birthday, but I told her you weren't interested in her wishes.

So, happy birthday from me, then! Do you want to mambo?

CDP said...

Happy Birthday, Lady! I love the new haircut, that's a great picture.

Renaissance Woman said...

Nice ass!!!!! Happy Birthday to you and I hope tht it brings you joy to be with family and friends. I love the cha cha cha's so maybe you should just try for a day. So fun!

Gwen said...

I'm so definitely a cha-cha.

As a present, I did your meme, too.

I loooooove the new hair. So cute. And you don't look a day over 29.

Have an awesome day! Love ya!

Linka72 said...


I LOVE yelling shit at people....

Have a wonderful birthday chica, and I will sing Happy Buuuurfday to you and add the cha cha cha's anyway..cuz I'm a bitch like that..hee hee

another good thing said...

Happy belated birthday. I am ashamed to admit I have been a bad bad blog reader. 50 lashes with a wet swedish fish, and send me no chachas...
but oh so glad I am back laughing and smiling at your fantastic wordplay and seeing your pretty haircut.

all best,

Churlita said...

Hey, I forgot we shared a birthday. Of course, I'm two years older than you, so we should hang-out and you'll always feel young in comparison. Happy belated!

Suze said...

Happy happy belated birthday my friend! My old boss used to ask did I want the "normal" happy birthday song or the "Applebees" version which includes a little dance. Good times :)

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Player - Thank you! Thank you and thank you ;)

Veg -
1. I was afraid. Thank you for not beating me up.

2. Flattery will get you everywhere kid.

3. Ass pinatas all round I say!

Helen - belated thank you for the birthday well wishes. And may all your cha-cha's come true.

SomeGuy - thanks man.

Skydad - I'm like a new woman with those ear plugs and a maragarita before bed.

Beckeye - thanks! Anytime kid.

Renwoman - You're right maybe next year I'll try just one Cha.

CDP - thanks! It's been over a week and I'm still happy with it.

Gwennie - you are so nice to me! I'm so much happier today than I was at 29 - maybe I look better too.

Linka - thanks for not making me where the sombrero.

AGT - no big deal - I've been terrible at leaving comments and responding to them. I'm so busy and when I do have the time I just haven't been in the mood.

Suze - Hey - Crappleby's has the really good sugary frozen drinks - they can dance away - no problemo.