Tuesday, August 28, 2007

If it's THAT important you should probably cancel

Earlier today while I was talking to my friend Rachel on the phone (since the invention of cordless phones I never sit still while conversing) I noticed my across the street neighbor. We've lived here since 2004 and I don't know these people. I waved to them once about 2 years ago as I was backing out of the driveway - they didn't see me. It's two men who live together so I have all these years assumed they are gay. I don't much care, but that's my best guess about their living arrangement. I usually see the two of them together in the evening (that's when I can best perform my Gladys Kravitz - when the curtains are closed but before we turn the lights on for the night) walking their dog (a boxer) while they smoke and talk. They look happy and are always dressed casually.

So today the more blondish one is poking around with some marketing-materials-three-ring-binder-importantish-looking kind of stuff in his open hatchback like maybe he's getting ready for something big. I can't help but notice that he's wearing possibly the worst suit ever. It's very wrinkled black pants that are an inch too short with black socks and a wrinkled gray corduroy blazer (it's August). I can't see the shirt or tie, but at this point I dread to picture it. I mentally reached out to him - wherever it is you're going dude - don't go. Postpone it and go find an iron.

Since I have never actually met them I have decided in my head that I really like these neighbors so at this point I'm kind of worried about him. Where is he going? Is he going to make some kind of presentation or sales call? MDH and I have a running joke when we see poorly-groomed men with extra long ear or nose hair, wearing bad suits or sporting bad haircuts and comb-overs that they must be single or their wife doesn't love them. I wonder where is his partner to stop him from leaving the house dressed like this.

And now he's gone. Good luck whatever it was buddy. I'll be thinking about 'ya.

Did he have surprise business meeting? Did he lose a bet? I thought gay guys were more fashion conscious than this so now I'm beginning to wonder if I have made up their whole gay relationship. I guess maybe I have known a few gay men in my life that weren't snazzy dressers, but still. I can see how wrinkled the suit is from a quarter of an acre across the street.

Regardless of sexual orientation it's never OK to wear a wrinkled, ill-fitting, out of season suit. I mean that's a triple whammy of bad men's fashion. Maybe if you were homeless people might overlook it. Whatever it is he's going through I hope he's OK.

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