Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Shark Bait

There are some nights, mornings, however you want to classify it, when I just simply cannot stay asleep. I almost always wake up between somewhere 3 and 4am and on a good day I crawl back into bed and go right back to dreamy-bye and on other days I lay there and lay there and lay there not able to go back to sleep. So I get up, put on the coffee, turn on the TV in the den and stare at it for an hour or so.

It's not like I'm wide awake or anything. No no. I'm still quite tired, just unable to sleep.

In my blurry-eyed grog I don't really care what program is actually on the TV. In fact I'm not quite sure why I even turn the TV on at all except out of habit. But still, there I sit, aiming coffee at my face and hoping most of it goes into my mouth, watching whatever channel it happened to be on when we went to bed, which very often is Comedy Central as we record the Daily Show each night.

At 4am Comedy Central and other similar channels aren't really on though. I guess those people were able to pee and go back to sleep. Lucky bastards. No it's infomercials at 4am, isn't it? It is.

I don't start off watching the infomercials. Not really. I'm just sitting in front of the infomercial, wishing I could go back to sleep and my brain is too groggy to register the fact that there is an obnoxious sales pitch happening on the other side of my eyes. Eventually though, the coffee kicks in and I suddenly find myself drawn in, needing more than anything to have an acne free complexion, meaningful beauty or to grow fresh tomatoes upside down from my balcony and I don't even have a balcony. Or acne either for that matter.

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