Sunday, June 21, 2009

The News Round Up

Goodness me. It has been nearly a month since my last post. Tsk-tsk.

What can I say? I suppose I should troll through my list of usual excuses and see what best fits.

I've been busy? Somewhat.

We've been traveling? A little.

I was sick? Jesus God was I ever.

It all applies - I've been working a 10 hour day schedule, we went to Chicago for the soccer world cup qualifier game between the US and Honduras where I contracted and am still recovering from the black plague, that I probably caught on the train we took into Chicago from Michigan City.

I feel I should mention here that the last time I was violently ill with a rotten head cold was last October and also corresponded with train travel between Michigan City and Chicago from now on known as the Tuberculosis Express.

Anyhoo... here I am now, but don't go thinking that I'll be posting again anytime soon or with any regularity whatsoever because I probably won't due to the fact that the next several weeks are going to be jam packed with activities and travel for the Who Doesn't Lunch family and because I will most likely want to spend every single waking moment of my entire life that I'm not busy working, traveling or entertaining house guests playing The Sims 3, which arrived on my doorstep last weekend.

ob-ses-sion [uhb-sesh-uhn] –noun 1.the domination of one's thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc.

I'm currently obsessed with the Sims 3. It's shameful and I don't give a damn.

It arrived 2 weeks ago along with the new video card and 2 gig of RAM I bought in order for the game to run properly on my computer. I was too sick to install everything until last Friday after dinner but once I did - it was all over.

Done.

I kissed MDH goodbye, holed myself up in our home office with a pot of hot tea, a bottle of Robitussin, a box of Puffs with lotion and played until 4am like a crazy person.

Since it's been such a long time since my last real blog post I thought I would give you some bullet points to help catch you up with the goings on in Ladyland.
  • During our visit to Chicago, back in those wistful days when I wasn't hacking and coughing, MDH managed to surprise me with tickets to see the stage production of Mary Poppins. It was everything one might hope and dream it would be. I shed tears and got goosebumps - it was terrific.

  • My hours have been cut at work, but my contract has been extended until the beginning of September.

  • I had a job interview last week. It was no big deal and I'm not getting worked up over it.

  • We are leaving this Thursday night for Syracuse for our niece's high school graduation. We are doing this instead of going to Columbus for Comfest which I'm telling you is bizarre. MDH has not missed Comfest for 14 years.

  • I'm not looking forward to this trip in any way at all. It is going to be two long ass motherfucking car rides and we're not even going anywhere cool.

  • The only bright spot of the trip will be that when we come home we are bringing my mother in law with us for a visit. I adore her and have spent this weekend cleaning and getting the house ready to best maximize her well deserved pampering. (I'm going to treat her like a queen, not diaper her.)

  • According to my best friend Amy in the time it took for her to grab a serving spoon for the bowl of freshly picked, farm stand strawberries she had just finished rinsing and coring, she witnessed her oldest stepson (age 18) reach down into the depths of front of his trousers, vigorously scratch at his balls for what seemed like an eternity. Then she watched in horror as in one fluid motion he removed his filthy hand from his ball sack, pulled it back out of his pants and proceeded to put the ball sack hand directly into the bowl, scooped out a handful of lovely clean berries and jammed them greedily into his mouth.
  • I love the show Nurse Jackie on Showtime. You should try to catch it.
  • Last Sunday I suddenly remembered that I own a very nice waffle iron so I dug it out, dusted it off and made some lovely banana waffles for brunch. MDH declared me the Best Wife EVER.

That's all for now. Happy summer!

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Brilliant Ideas I Cannot Share With My Husband for Obvious Reasons Vol 1

Born out of my growing disgust with Twitter, Facebook and our culture's increasing desire to constantly know and share all the mundane and intimate details of our everyday minutiae comes my brilliant idea for a new social networking website called "Shitter" where members share and trade comments about the color, texture and content their various bowel movements.


I'll write a real post tomorrow. Hope you're having a great Saturday!